Laughing – the next day

I spent yesterday licking my wounds and recovering from what happened, yes, but I also spent time doing my writing assignment for the new adult education class I’m taking: Stand-up comedy with Bob Gatreau.  I wrote it about “family therapy” with my parents.  What a joke that was.  I’d post the text except the routine is full of gestures that can’t be seen when you read it.

I laughed at myself, and that helped some.  I noticed that in the scene, I was completely absent.  My parents did all the talking and the therapist mediated.  I didn’t talk at all or make any gestures or even appear present.  I am talked about as though I am not in the room.  The therapist has to remind my parents to address me and not each other.

In real life family therapy, I did talk and I was noticed, but my parents steamrollered over me.  They sometimes took up the entire session screaming about my smoking and drinking coffee.  The therapist had a hard time explaining to my parents that communication and listening were more important than my personal habits.

So yesterday, I made a joke of them.   I made a joke of myself.  I made myself laugh at them and myself and a past situation that shouldn’t have happened.  It helped me cope with the present situation that shouldn’t have happened, and laugh at it–but only for a little while.

Eating again–one week later–and writing!

Yes, I have been writing.  It all started with an e-mail from my advisor from last semester, Darrah Cloud.  I wrote to her asking for help, because I was not writing and didn’t know what to do about it.  Well, she set me straight, telling me pretty much what I knew I needed to hear, that I should set aside a time to write each day like I used to, and make a schedule and stick to it.

Here’s what I did:  I decided that at that point all I could handle was 15 minutes at a time of writing.  So I planned four 15-minute writing sessions each day.  I planned these sessions for the periods before mealtimes and snack times.  For the times after eating, I decided I’d do a quick home cleanup for about five minutes or so.  I wrote my entire day’s schedule out on paper, including my usual morning and evening routine.  Here it is:

DAILY ROUTINE

MORNING ROUTINE
Wake up 4:45
Morning Coffee  Relax
Breakfast

Brush teeth Floss
Shower 6:30 Wash hair MWF
Clean bathroom daily
Dress becomingly
Walk Puzzle and feed her
Take meds and fold up bed
Clean one place in apt for two minutes

WRITING AND EATING ROUTINE

Laundry – Saturday

23-minute WRITING WORKOUT #1

Eat snack

5-minute home decluttering

Do something nice for myself

23-minute WRITING WORKOUT #2

11:15AM eat lunch

Brush Puzzle’s teeth

Clean floor Sun/Wed
Home scrubbing Mon/Thurs

Do something nice for myself

23-minute WRITING WORKOUT #3

Eat snack

5-minute home decluttering

Plan meals for tomorrow

Do something nice for myself

23-minute WRITING WORKOUT #4

4:45PM eat dinner

BEDTIME ROUTINE
Prepare meals for tomorrow
Walk Puzzle and feed her
Clean one place in apt for two minutes
Wash dishes and wipe counter
Shine the kitchen sink
Take meds  Unfold bed
Set out meds for tomorrow
Wash up
Put ace bandage on knee
Write in journal

As you can see, I’ve now increased my time to 23 minutes.  This schedule keeps me far too busy!  Following it is very difficult!  But it is possible.  If I do all the writing sessions, I get an hour and a half of writing done.  That’s not much.  What I need to do is to combine sessions and write for longer periods.  This will come soon enough.

I am getting accustomed to eating again.  It is tough.  Sometimes I want to eat more than planned, but other times I feel very full, and I want to rebel.  At first, my weight climbed up, and I started to panic.  But my weight dropped again, which isn’t the best thing, but the ED in me thinks that’s just grand.  I believe I’ll be up to normal calorie range within a couple of weeks.  Scary.