They tried to put me lock me up because I blog, posing a danger to THEM, not to myself

More and more evidence is becoming clear to me. People who speak out against the AMA, the APA, psychiatry in general, or a specific institution or doctor, and especially those who have a strong Internet presence should be aware of this. Did you know that psychiatric diagnosis can be assigned arbitrarily, without proof such as a blood test or xray? This means free reign for psychiatrists to diagnose a person they want to dispose of with any label they please. All you have to do is to show up. They can nail anyone they want, claiming this person is “dangerous.”

Anyone can be determined to be not only “dangerous” but potentially “dangerous.” That is, they can lock someone up with no evidence of a person’s current danger to self or others. Yes, it’s true! I just read an article on this in a medical journal. So with no evidence whatsoever except fortune-telling (best left to psychics, eh?) a psychiatrist can determine a person as being possibly violent in the future, and see to it that this person (someone who is inconvenient to them) will be out of their hair for a good long time.

This is how they silence bloggers who speak out about REAL harm done inside institutions as we speak. Folks like me, who tell the truth, are surely a danger to them because we make a point of exposing medical wrongdoing.

Do you wonder why so many whistleblowers suddenly take sick and disappear? Look no further than that person’s psych evaluation. These are done arbitrarily and on a whim, based on “opinion.” Isn’t “opinion” always biased? Of course it is! I learned this in grad school where I studied creative writing. By definition, opinion IS bias.

More later.

Regarding the accuracy of eating disorders blogs: does it really matter?

I saw a study, or rather, a summary of a study done by some medical person who had examined hundreds of eating disorders blogs.  Who knows if mine was among the hundreds….

The study summary stated that just about all contained gross inaccuracies. What are we to conclude from this?

The study didn’t state whether these were blogs by “therapists” or  those done by researchers.  If these are personal blogs, were they blogs done by those that experienced ED, or just people wanting to talk about it?  Or did the study only examine blogs within hospitals or treatment centers or ones within websites touting a particular cure.  I think we need to make a distinction here.

Unfortunately, this was a medical paper that was in .pdf form and I was not privy to reading it.  I think I’d have had to pay a fee to access it. I was amused at this.

Also, what did this doctor consider “inaccurate”?  Inaccurate according to whom?

A person who has ED might state, “The night staff regularly slept on the job at the treatment center I went to. Many staff were more interested in their cell phones than they were in the patients.”  Is this inaccurate?

Just about all sites I’ve read on binge eating disorder will tell you you can’t die from binge eating.  I maintain that this is false, that people do die directly from binge eating, from stomach rupture in some cases, or from a bad reaction to the overindulgence in the substance they binge on.  I’m sure plenty of people have stuffed themselves so badly that they have choked and died. Am I being inaccurate simply because I have not myself yet died?  I have no intentions of dropping dead to prove my point.  I challenge what is standard medical claim because what’s happening now is that binge eating is still not taken seriously.  In order to get any “care” at all, a patient has to claim they have some other problem….such as depression. Then, they can get therapy or whatever. I have even threatened suicide, and eventually made an attempt due to the lack of being taken seriously…and in desperate attempt to get care…not that that worked but I have gone that route.

So I have had LOTS of LIVED EXPERIENCE and I am saying this is what I have been through.  If someone thinks what I am saying isn’t true, go try surviving out there and then come back to me and tell me I’m lying or delusional.

So…does it matter if a blog is accurate. Do people want accuracy or do they want personal accounts? Do they take what I say with a grain of salt?  I should hope so.  I am just human…take what you want and leave the rest, just as I do.  Surely, I tell you often enough who I am and where I stand and why I say the things I do.

So here’s something you might think is hogwash advice…..Where can one get information these days? Where’s a good source?  WebMD?  Drugs dot com?

Guess where I get good info on all sorts of things. Amazon reviews. Of course, you can’t buy things like antidepressants on Amazon, but I sure as hell don’t want an antidepressant anyway!  I go to Amazon if I’m looking for a new whatever.  I read all the reviews with a grain of salt.

It’s that grain of salt that’s important.  Learn it. The beauty of the Internet is that this information can be freely posted by anyone and is free for anyone to access. The less monitoring the better.  Do you see what I am saying?

Of course, I’ve read the most ridiculous claims on Amazon reviews.  I even read that there was something that will restore your kidneys.  I went and Googled it (the review claimed there was all sorts of literature that could be easily found on this) and found that this product has on occasion destroyed patients’ kidneys if overused. I guess the reviewer misread, huh? Hope the guy is gonna be okay!

So if I claim something, are people really going to believe it and does it matter? I am telling you that I experienced it and that’s what matters. I can tell you that I’ve spoken to many who have experienced similar things to myself, but not that I actually have done studies or taken blood tests myself or experimented on human research subjects or animals.  That’s not my job.  I can provide a link to a study or tell you I read a book and how much I liked it or didn’t.

I don’t think that accuracy in a personal blog matters at all.  It’s not the job of a blogger to do that. If I tell you who I am and state where I’m coming from, you can make a decision to trust what I’m saying, or not trust it at all.  You choose whether to read my words or not.  Are we cool on this?

Nano and blogging for me this year, 2013

I dropped out of Nano, but now, I’m beginning to wonder.  I’ve done so much blogging that I wonder what the word count total is between my nano project and all the blogging I did afterward, all total!  Does it come close to 50,000, or am I way off base? That plus the stray comments here and there that I’ve left on various miscellaneous sites here and there, my all-self-important opinion cuz I am the Center of the Universe, which I can’t say too loudly cuz I’ll be accused of PARANOIA, but that doesn’t add up to that much more in terms of word count anyway.

Oh, I am so, so important. I only say that because I hate being ignored.

I’m too lazy to count up my words right now.  Only curious.  What the heck.

Regarding my blog and my secrets

A lot of people stop by here now, for many random reasons.  They google something, then they find something quirky about my writing and end up sticking around.

As you know (or maybe you don’t), writing is like this giant force in my life.  It’s hard for me to fathom that my next-door neighbor, or the lady upstairs or the guy down the hall or I’ll bet just about everyone who works in the Housing Authority office spends less than 1% of their time writing.  It’s hard for me to grasp their lives are like.

I mean, put their lives on a pie graph, and you see a different picture than if you put my life on a pie graph.

As I figure it, based on what I can hear through the walls, my next door neighbor’s pie graph consists of about 30% to 50% of her pie, or possibly far more, maybe 2/3, filled with “TV.”  I assume a certain amount is “sleep,” probably the time that that TV isn’t on.

I’d say that for the people who work in the Housing Authority office, you figure they work 4o hours a week, so would that be maybe 30% of the pie spent commuting to and from, filling out forms, answering phones, data entry, and of course correcting the various errors that were already put in.  I suspect the administration does about the same thing as the clerical workers do, with a bit more PR and vetoing power.  Do they ever actually write?  Naw.  Just brief memos. And that’s one of those pains in the butt.

Of course, I have no clue if anyone here in this building or that I see around me actually keeps a journal or blog or is writing a creative endeavor of any type.

What my point is, really, is how much of an elephant is your writing in YOUR life?

As I said, my writing has been a driving force, I’d say, since 1998.  This is what makes me a writer.  Of course, before that, I did quite a bit of writing, too.

I’d say, though, it went from “serious hobby” to “driving force” around 1998 and that hasn’t changed.

I don’t think I chose this path necessarily.  I found myself on this not-so-well-traveled, rocky road after blindly stumbling around in the dark.  I dusted myself off and made the decision to keep at it.

Musicians do music.  Actors get on stage and momentarily become someone else.  I’m not at all sorry I’m here. In fact, I’m delighted.

I’d say blogging has changed me.  I’d say writing changes me and makes me a person who is always changing and I am a person open to change, because I am always writing.  I learn by writing.

I titled this entry “My blog and my secrets.”  You may be wondering what the “secret” part is.  There’s a bit of a misconception about me going around that I heard a while back (this quite a bit ago, in fact) that I “tell all” or “reveal everything” or that “Julie Greene’s life is an open book.”   Folks think that all they have to do is to click on “Julie Greene’s blog” to find out what’s going on with me.

I doubt that’s true of any blogger.  It’s physically impossible.  Think about it.  Nor can you “tell all” to any therapist or to your spouse.  And I certainly wouldn’t encourage you to do so.  If any therapist demands that you tell them EVERYTHING, please, go elsewhere.

We humans have a need for privacy.  That’s one of the many reasons why we wear clothes.  That’s one of the many reasons why we stand or sit a certain distance away from each other when we speak to each other, instead of smack against each other like sardines, if we have a choice.  That’s why we go to the bathroom within enclosure and have sex in privacy, too.

Ever notice that you go to a drugstore and something called a “diary” has a lock on it?  A real physical lock, even now, in 2013?  Anne Frank died a long, long time ago, and yet, diary-writing remains conceptually the same.  It’s private.  There’s all kinds of journaling software you can buy and if you read the ads for it, there’s talk of “password protection” and the ability to keep our words to ourselves.

Do you think I’m any different just because I blog? That I bear all, and all my life is viewable to public scrutiny and not only that, googlable?

“Going public,” for anyone, is a brave move.  However, as I said, it’s physically impossible to turn your whole life over and make it viewable. There’s always going to be that dark, unseen side.  The part the sun nor the moon get a chance to shine on.

I cherish that dark side of me.  I’m glad it’s there.  This morning I woke up and told myself how much I love my secrets.  I told myself I was okay.   I told myself I felt truly secure and cozy right where I am.  No one has to know where that is, which is fine by me.