This is a pattern I have seen again and again in my life that I would like to share. I guess I was thinking right now just a bit more about Jenna’s comment from a few days ago about her unfortunate experience working with Shan Larter.
Shan’s two-hour freebee, which she did twice over the fall that I know of, was of course not an educational seminar but a promo for herself. I knew this fairly soon into the “seminar.” She claimed that the audio was not even working properly and she was not truly taking questions from listeners at all, but selling herself, which was I’m sure was the plan all along. I meanwhile had typed into the “questions” box about five questions. Silly me, thinking she would answer these questions.
I actually saved the questions I asked Shan, and put them onto a document, but instead of sharing them now, I will share them in a separate post because I feel that I would be straying too far from the topic at hand, as the questions are detailed. Let me just say that if anyone else out there was foolish enough as I was to think that Shan was going to answer their questions, they, too, were sorely disappointed after listening with baited breath for the entire two hours.
Let me say this: Beware of any individual, group, religion, place of residence, hospital, therapist, doctor, or practitioner who tells you you are “exceptional” or “special” and then says they will make you a deal just for you. This is a brainwashing technique I have seen used many times in my life over the years used very effectively by abusers, scammers, cults, and brainwashers.
Yes, those of you who have been around my blog a while know that I had an experience back in 1979 in California when I was brainwashed by the Moonies. I got out on my own. In fact, before leaving, I tried to warn others and tried to get others that I believed were newcomers to also leave. I tried to spread the word that we were being brainwashed. I had to do this very secretly and I passed notes to people, trying not to have these notes seen by those that I believed were cult leaders.
Now listen to this parallel: During my last hospitalization, this in July 2012, I attempted to speak up and tell as many patients as possible to read about the Five Fundamental Rights, which is a document about human rights in psychiatric settings. The staff tried to break up these conversations and did everything they could to shut me up. They wanted no talk of “rights” on their unit. Why? They were breaking the damn law, lots of laws, and they knew it. They didn’t want the patients reading the documents they rightfully had access to.
Do you see what I am saying?
Of course, I did win my human rights case and the patients now have a private phone on the Alcott Unit. I hear that only one of the phones has a phone booth built around it, but I of course have not been on the unit and have not seen it myself.
So anyway, I wanted to point out the parallel of my role in these settings. It is glaringly obvious.
An abusive spouse will do the same. Tell you you are exceptional. Tell you you are the one and only. And then they will dig in. Because you are the one and only, the abuser has given you reasons why you are unable to leave. So you are completely stuck.
An abusive therapist will also do this. An abusive therapist may abuse their patients in many ways. Of course we hear the stories about sexual abuse, but what isn’t recognized or reported is emotional abuse or sexual abuse that is done more covertly and can’t be reported because it can’t in fact be proven in to the legal folks. This abuse is just as hurtful and these relationships can go on and on for years, with no recourse. And no one believes you. Because you were the crazy one. Everyone says you are exaggerating or made it up, but you know you are right.
Please, hold onto what you know is right. If nothing else, write it down.
The post I just posted a bit ago about what happened at Newton-Wellesley Hospital with the vomit odor room is an example of one such thing, when I was accused of being the “crazy” one, but in fact there was something very wrong with the air vents or something. (Go back and read that post and if you were the one smoking some weird weed downstairs, you owe me one.)
So anyway, I had to take a break from writing all this, and rush to the post office before they closed. I have come back home and totally lost my train of thought. While walking home I thought up another blog entry I want to write. So I will write that one, too, soon, and also I will post those questions I told you about that I had stupidly thought Shan would answer “specially” for me. Oh yeah, sure. Beware when they tell you you are special. You sucker.