This is a You-Tube…discussing a dream I had. Just uploaded.
Okay, so you loved her, didn’t you? The oppressed underdog triumphs. We love our success from the bottomless pit stories, don’t we? Or rags to riches? Did you cheer her on? I did.
Now, make a presto-chango. Now, what you see is the same scene, driver almost hits pedestrian and then honks, but take that cute little old lady out, and put in a young black boy wearing a hoodie. Most of us will cheer the kid on, but many, sadly, won’t.
Now what? Put up the video and next thing you know, any black family with teenage boy kids that wear similar hoodies is gonna get a visit from the cops. Grilled. Slammed. “Don’t you know where your kids are? When we find this kid, he’ll do time.”
Presto chango: how about this? The driver gets out and plays vigilante and shoots the boy. Is the driver gonna get off, or not?
Maybe the boy in the hoodie was on his way to visit his dying grandmother in a nursing home.
When they bring the boy’s body to the coroner, they find the homemade card the boy made for his grandmother. On it he drew a picture of a puppy, granny’s favorite breed, and the words, “I love you.”
The cute little old lady is still waiting, dying in her bed. The family doesn’t have the heart to tell her her grandson was shot. They cannot decide.
The press anxiously await, cameras ready to shoot.
Here are a couple of my ideas I’m playing around with for future You-Tubes:
1. A discussion of disability vs disfigurement and where they overlap. How society views these. Define what I mean by Human Citizenship. Discussion of a disfigured person’s erosion of that citizenship as a result of stigma.
2. To follow up on my You-Tube done last summer called “Disrespect.” (Viewers may not realize that I was in a state of starvation when I made that You-Tube and if you watch carefully, you’ll see I am clearly having trouble putting my thoughts together and communicating effectively.) This remake would explain how mental patients become so accustomed to being pummeled with insults while in treatment that this way of life becomes the new “normal.” I’ll give examples. I’ll leave the old You-Tube up there, cuz it’s a part of history I guess.
3. Using new vocabulary…I’ll keep this one brief, only suggesting that you take the word “chronic” out….What happens? What circumstances are chronic in your life that could be fixed? Again, examples.
Okay, I’ll go back to work on my long piece, the one I told you about that I’m writing about Thursday’s meeting. See ya!
This was the condition, binge eating (polyphagia) for which I first went to mental health care for help. I described what happened to me. I was told it was “nothing to worry about.” I suffered from what you see above but unlike this woman, I did not throw up what I ate. You can imagine just how sick I felt, for days afterward.
When I went to mental health professionals, I got laughed at and poked fun of. Told I was making a mountain out of a molehill.
No, this condition doesn’t come from “poor coping.” It’s not about “control.” There is a biological cause. Nutrition, blood sugar irregularities, possibly seizures. Maybe even hormones. No one really knows.
The person you see in the You-Tube isn’t me. Many thanks to the woman who posted this. Thanks for speaking out. God bless you.
I ended up on psychiatric medication for the binge eating. I took Lithium for about 15 years, and many other drugs. The drugs didn’t work, for the most part. Many drugs made the binge eating far worse.
The claims that psychiatry makes about serotonin have been debunked. Doctors know the serotonin/dopamine claims made by pharmaceutical companies are baloney. That’s why they withhold information from you when they hand you their pills. Otherwise, no one in their right mind will take them.
Today, I have kidneys that barely work. Since Feb 2012 I get “Charlie horse” muscle cramps almost daily. These cramps are all over my body, not just my calves. I have been telling the doctors since 2012. I am reasonably certain the cramping comes from potassium overload.
I asked for medical care for the cramping. I got put off. It was trivialized. Told it was all in my head, even though my potassium level was over 10 by the time I got a blood draw, maybe half a day after the pain from cramping had been crippling me for hours.
Apparently, fair, unbiased medical care doesn’t exist anymore, not for me.
I’ll be in Boston today. Headed for the state house. I feel sick physically but I am doing this because I don’t want what happened to me to happen to other people.
I love you all.
Here it is, done today:
Have a nice day.
I had loads of fun doing this one.
I lay in bed a long time with a headache this morning. I so rarely get headaches. Maybe once every few months. It’s too bad that some people suffer with these daily or several times a week. I’m fortunate that I hardly ever get them. But of course, whenever I do, they are annoying. Then, they go away.
At any rate, I guess the headache and its aftermath, that is, what I did to deal with it led to a writing idea! A wicked cool one. So I’m about to write down that fantastic thought that popped into my head. And my head doesn’t hurt anymore.
I did this for You-Tube, adding a bit of an intro.
Here’s part one, just uploaded, boy did I have fun making these!
And here’s part two!
Of course, my chapter, “The Farm,” sums up these You-Tubes in only a few paragraphs. You can find it in my memoir, This Hunger Is Secret: My Journeys Through Mental Illness and Wellness.
Good morning. You may find this You-Tube tough to watch. Just thought I’d give you a heads-up. it’s just me talking. That’s all that’s in it.
I’m rather candid and open about a rather beautiful event in my life. I do see this as beauty.
This is all new to me, new material, everything.
You will see why I’ve had the need to know stuff and learn stuff about my experience and why the questioning.
I feel satisfied and happy today.
It doesn’t surprise me that now that I’ve expressed what I’m thinking, I have no need to “discuss it in therapy.” It’s not a therapy concern.
As I said, I believe in myself.
I believe in myself.
I believe in myself and what I have perceived. Not much else matters. I am stronger today because of the experience and I feel no need to prove my strength to anyone. I believe in myself and I did not believe in myself before.
Have a nice day.