Is this how it’s supposed to feel? I don’t think so.

I’m supposed to feel “like crap” but I don’t. I went out running this morning and that was my most successful run since my fracture. I did a total of 2.5 miles. On the track I ran just about the entire mile. I ran all the way there until the hill turned sharply down, so I walked to preserve my knees. I walked most of the way home. Nothing hurt except my clothes, which I had to peel off. I do not like feeling like I’m stuck inside my filthy socks. My back hurts a little, down where my upper pelvis and back meet. I should have used higher arches and will do so next time. My ankle doesn’t hurt. I had it in the brace while I was running. My bra was also annoying me. These are very minor annoyances compared to huffing and puffing, or ending up with some scary sharp pain where my fracture was. When I got out of my shower I laughed over how great it feels knowing I earned my shower.

I looked at my hair while I was washing it in the shower. On “meds” it would never grow past my bra. Now, off those scary pills, my hair is below my butt. Easily. How did that happen?

Anyone else have some drug/hair stories to share?

This morning I worked on my book website, as I shared in another post. I also made cashew butter, salt-free, sugar-free, from (just guess!) CASHEWS! It’s really delicious spread on my homemade bread.

Good morning, world!

Check out my slider!

I figure I might as well get stuff done if my body refuses to sleep. Why waste the time? Check out the beginnings of my book’s website:

Okay, the very beginning…..

I’m trying to spend time lying down and resting at least. I have a feeling this is what ESRD is supposed to be like. I read that kidney disease causes a blood abnormality that prevents the production of melatonin. That is what has been going on all these years. I’m trying to keep my feet up for as much of the night as possible. The recliner comes in handy that way. But sleep? Naw. Maybe an hour last night. Before that, I think I didn’t sleep at all. The night is quiet and enjoyable. How about you?

Phone call to the ambulance people

I called the ambulance company (the number is easy enough to find in a search) and talked to a supervisor. I’m really proud of myself…I explained the situation really well and hopefully the supervisor will get back to me with some sort of response.

#1. they shouldn’t ask the date. People use their phones. I don’t. I use my watch (non-smart). Or the computer. I work at the computer, so the only time I really know (or care) what the date is is when I am working. I did not work Sunday, the day the ambulance came. I couldn’t remember the month, either. I think also they asked me what I had done the day before. I still have no memory of that day.

Oh now I remember. I had Saturday off. I remember wanting to go to the gym but feeling like I couldn’t run…discouraging, eh? That was the day I got my AC. The AC didn’t work (after running it for hours) and now I have to return it. Luckily, Walmart will pick up a large item like this. I doubt I could get it onto one of our buses…but that would depend on which bus model it was.

#2. Even if I couldn’t remember stuff, I’d been hyperventilating all night. That made me confused. I am not confused now. By confused, I mean it’s like you have a really bad case of ADHD, or shall I say, “ADHD.” It was like a short-term memory brain fart, similar to ECT. I’m wondering if the acidosis caused the confusion or something to do with hyperventilating. Either way, it’s gone now.

#3. They shouldn’t base their conclusion, “possible psychosis” on memory alone, is what I am saying. What if I had the very beginnings of the dreaded dementia? Thankfully, my memory is now intact but it wasn’t during the ambulance ride.

At the end of the conversation the supervisor said she would phone me back. She never did. I’m not sure this is even worth pursuing. But maybe it takes her a while to get paperwork done or whatever. She said I should complain about the way they treated me at the ER. I don’t think it will be a good idea as long as I am still living in the area.

Considering a change

I have this odd idea. I KNOW it’ll work. It’s not a matter of if. It’s whether I do it or not. After this sale is over at my retail job and I settle into my new job, I have a thought……

I’ll be reviving Nuthouse No More and taking on a few people. Not as life coach but as “case manager” which at least sounds legitimate. I wouldn’t manage…but I’d see to it that the former “patient,” who was subservient, comes up into the driver’s seat and therefore, is manager of his/her own life.

I have a few takers but I don’t think I want to do that full time.

I’m thinking more solitary and at the same time, portable. Why don’t I do beta reading on Fiverr? This is brand new, this terminology, but it makes sense since I was trained to do this in grad school, even though we didn’t call it that. I do not see any MFAs on there actually, though there’s a professional “editor” and a few others who have worked professionally in the field.

This could be ported anywhere, even if I caved and decided on dialysis. Which I doubt….But it can be done at home, in a library, coffeeshop, etc. No one will be listening on, which is FREEDOM as far as I am concerned.

I have offered to do this many times for other people, but I get no takers. However, on Fiverr, it’s not like there are 50 beta readers on there. I think more like 15.

I would have to charge a lot to pull in a profit. The average book would be $250. I am paying a fraction of that right now, about $50 to each and now my book is on the second reader. I do have to consider that the average writer doesn’t realize how long a book is supposed to be, so likely many books would show up as 10,000 words (more like a booklet!) and I would only charge $50.

A 100,000-word book would take an entire week to pull off and I’d have to charge more like $400 or $500. People do pay that much to a person with my degree….but likely I’d lower all my prices to start. Just to get customers.

More and more people are at least trying to write books. Goodie! I think the market is wide open.

I wrote to my landlord and gave notice. I will hear in about 7-10 days whether I was approved for the loan I have applied for. By then, I’ll have a better idea of where I am headed. Goodbye, Big Brother!

Helpful hints

I told this one to the lady who works at the gym….

How to clean your monitor

A tissue likely isn’t a good idea and don’t use toilet paper. I’ve used paper towels, but don’t use the recycled kind since they could have shards of metal in them. Spray some hydrogen peroxide on the paper towel (yes, you can add some Fabuloso to cover up the smell) and now, you have monitor cleaner!

How to keep your flip-flops from stinking

Dry them under the hand dryer. Not the hair dryer. Hand dryers (the good kind) blow cold air and this saves the environment. Drying your flip flops after you shower stops any odor in its tracks. Now you can safely put them back in your gym bag.

How to detangle your hair when you don’t have conditioner

I haven’t used conditioner for about a decade. If you really need to detangle, use Vitamin E oil for $1 at Dollar General. This is not to be used internally, but on skin, nails, and hair. Today I used grapefruit essential oil and one drop of Vitamin E oil. Sometimes I use nothing at all, just wash it and braid it.

You can use any hand cream, lip balm, or oil within reason. Yes, you can use butter.

My hair off meds is longer and thicker. In fact I suspect it hasn’t even stopped growing yet. I think it’s  good six inches longer than it was on “meds.” Today I asked myself, “Which will happen first? Will I croak, or will my hair turn gray?” And…”How long does it take before this humor wears off and I turn into a grump?”

I was thinking of writing an article comparing being an MP to having ESRD. I’d rather be me now than be me the way I was before. No pregunta.

I just got my book read!

I went on Fiverr and found a reader. My aim is to have several, five or six if I need to. Demographics are important. This reader was 19 and had never heard of lithium. Hey, I just enlightened someone!

Anyway, she loved the book! She mentioned a place where she was confused, and that’s significant. In that place, I assumed readers knew. Well? No, not all readers know! I’m glad she told me because now I can (easily) fix it.

So…female, USA (I think) and 19. I want a range of demographics. Much of my book is geared toward the USA so I need to maybe write a disclaimer or explanation.

I’m really excited about the things I plan to add to the book. I decided this while I was out to eat with my friends tonight (yep, I got the restaurant chef to cook no-salt!). I must say, though, the amount of protein was a little more than I could handle. Really I enjoyed myself!

So I have work to do.

Code inspection

I just had code inspection. This is done yearly. I never realized that. I suspect it’s only done in this town and not all towns in the county. I’m so offended. It was like…home invasion (if you’ve ever been through such a thing…) and honestly it was absolutely horrible. They came back today. Surprised me since I remembered the time wrong. I let them in, but let them know I was not really ready yet.

Wow they STILL insulted me, even after I said not to.

Anyway, I think I need to leave. I can’t go through this, even once a year.


The PCP I’m supposed to see just called. Well no, he didn’t call. His office called. His nurse. She wouldn’t tell me how much an appointment would cost. She transferred me to someone else. I told this someone else I did not have insurance. Of course, the ER told me these folks “could accommodate.” No they can’t. Accommodate, to me, doesn’t mean they bill  you the full amount, and it doesn’t mean you pay in installments. Then what? Do they get the interest? The base cost is $80 and then, of course, all the tests. How many is he going to decide to do? As many as he can get away with, which I can refuse, but anyway. Ahem…pap smear, schedule me for a booby-squeeze, and all those unnecessary, expensive tests that aren’t even relevant. Oh he’ll push a flu shot on me, too. I’m not anti-vac but the flu shot never worked for me. And interestingly, when I stopped it, I stopped having the flu altogether.

Furthermore, a “checkup” is useless and unnecessary.

I’m so glad. I had forgotten about the PCP. I made the right decision.

By comparison, the podiatrists here charge much less. I recall $45 for an appointment and the xrays were less than $25 each. No insurance trail, either.