Natural thyroid, results

I have been on natural thyroid for a week. I also switched Puzzle to it simultaneously. I calculated the proper dose, which was not easy. Puzzle’s dose turns out to be perfect but mine I am still playing with.

Puzzle showed positive results first. Her skin blackens when her thyroid levels are low (hypothyroidism). Her thyroid level was fine on 200mgs a day. She took 100 twice a day. Still, the very tip of her tail showed some blackened skin.

Now I am not seeing the any blackened skin on her at all. Her coat is visibly thicker. I am also noticing more pep and improved stool consistency.

For me, I was taking 100 mgs a day of thyroid pill which was not quite enough according to blood tests. T4 was fine but TSH was slightly off. I didn’t actually notice much difference on or off the thyroid pill but off of it my levels were way off. Restarting it didn’t feel any different, either.

I was starting to notice drying of my facial skin and cracking of my lips and fingertips. I thought this was just “winter.”

After one week on the natural thyroid I do not have cracked fingertips. The drying on my cheeks (which had even led to bleeding!) is not there anymore. I do not feel dramatically different. Yesterday I noticed my lips are still cracked and bleeding so I increased the natural thyroid dose. I never noticed any hair changes on or off the thyroid pill, but overall my hair is healthier now that I am off psych drugs. It still has yet to turn gray.

I run everywhere now. I run to work, run home, run to the store, run with Puzzle. It feels terrific.

Stay tuned.

Fat Lib minimizes the suffering that overweight people experience

I am so fed up with Fat Lib. I know a lot of people who are suffering due to being overweight. They have bad knees because their knees cannot support their weight. They have back problems and many end up using canes. I know elders who die younger than they should due to being overweight. Some have breathing problems. I think it is demeaning to anyone at any weight to demand that they love their bodies and to blame all their suffering on some kind of perceived low self-esteem related to weight. This is bullshit.

I know a lot of elders who are truly suffering and a lot of it is due to their weight. I am not talking about low self-esteem, which is likely the least of their worries. They can’t work due to medical issues and end up on disability. Their hearts weaken. They can’t breathe and they huff and puff.

I remember being overweight and I ended up crippled because of it. My knees gave out and I was unable to walk for three months. I was a shut-in all that time. I really did huff and puff. I sure couldn’t run. I remember knowing my weight was the problem, and my feelings of body-hatred had nothing to do with hating myself, but hating my situation and wondering how I ended up that way. I was so afraid I would just keep gaining and end up even more mobility-impaired than I already was. I’m very lucky that all that did not last that long, when I put it all in perspective. Yes, it was hell and I hated it.

I don’t think Fat Lib does most overweight people any favors by lecturing them to fucking love their bodies when really for many of them, life truly sucks in a way that no one can imagine if you have ever been there. Why shouldn’t we show some compassion instead of the high-fallutin’ “love thyself”? That is shit.

“Love thyself” is one of those idiotic pat answers that therapists give all the time. It is so simplistic. Imagine: You show up and tell  that idiot in the big lounge chair who is supposed to help you that you have a rotten landlord or your husband is beating you or you have rats in your home, and all that idiot has to say is some irrelevant slogan like “Love yourself” or “one day at a time.” Oh c’mon, they have no clue and you’ve just paid them $150 for that.

How about some practical answers from those idiots? I remember my therapist would just say that shit all the time, “One day at a time” and just shrugged at me whenever I asked her why I had suddenly gained all that weight. I am pissed. She could have confronted the psychiatrist who was pushing 900mgs of Seroquel a day into me. She didn’t. Of course not.

I had to do it myself. I remember I could  not walk without a walker. I hobbled into Dr. Pearson’s office and told her NO MORE.

This is help at its core. In other words, the only help you can really trust is help you do for yourself. You really have to tackle these problems head-on and not let others give you a bunch of euphemistic, know-it-all answers. Or just ignore them when they say that. walk away and do whatever you want.

Take your life back! Why waste it? Life keeps going forward and will not go backwards. You won’t get these years back. You cannot undo anything, either. Don’t spend another minute allowing others to run your life. Take charge. Live.

Aurora shooter WAS fired. And he had a long crim history.

I have been reading the articles. Yes he was fired. The new story that I just read totally conflicts with any previous stories.

The original stories said he was “laid off” two weeks previously. The new story says he was at work, and “called in,” that is, he had to meet with the boss or HR folks, but he knew they were going to fire him and had brought a gun into work for the occasion. He planned this.

Things were not going well for him. Maybe they did a background check that missed his prior convictions, and then, they found out and decided to let him go. Maybe they just decided they didn’t like him. Their whim.

It is very hard for people with criminal histories to find work, which means unemployment, poverty, hopelessness, and often, homelessness. This is not the best environment for anyone. That was where he was headed, folks. Maybe he figured he had nothing to lose.

Was the Henry Pratt shooter, Gary Martin, on psych drugs?

This is what I can figure out from the news reports so far. Martin was laid off. He was not fired. However, some companies claim it’s a layoff but really these workers are as good as fired. Many manufacturing plants are trimming down their workforces due to outsourcing, increased manufacturing abroad, and people being replaced by machines.

Still, I have known people who were told they were “laid off” but really they were fired. If a company is going to trim down the workforce then are they going to lay off at random? I doubt it. They will coerce unwanted workers to retire, or bully them off the job, demote them till their disgusted, or just tell them there’s no more work. They will keep the ones they like. I have heard of companies that made these “layoff” decisions based on race, gender, etc. Why would they lay off a worker who had been there 20 years? Wouldn’t it be more to their advantage to lay off newer workers who didn’t have as much training and experience? Or do companies lay off the workers who get more per hour?

If I had worked at a place 20 years and then got supposedly “laid off” I would certainly feel disappointed, betrayed, let down, and disgusted. I wouldn’t go shooting people, of course. However, if this guy was on drugs then his judgement would be impaired, his impulsivity might increase, he might have akathesia (yes, you get this from antidepressants!) and that could be enough to tip him over the edge.

Wait and see.

Added chapters to Life After Lithium

I added a few chapters to Life After Lithium. One is on healing trauma through activism. This one I have completed.

I have two more. “But I can’t take care of myself without help. What can I do?”

This chapter will be focused on self-sufficiency.

And…….”Choosing a nontraditional practitioner”

This chapter will outline not only how to find one that isn’t a quack but how to deal with them once you’ve hired them. I talk about avoiding dependency, taking what they say with a grain of salt and retaining your own autonomous decision-making. I also talk about what to avoid when choosing and continuing with them. I will speak from experience about the practitioners that I have decided not to see due to their policies, for instance, one wanted me to sign a paper saying they can contact my doctor (I do not have one!) and some even require you to be seeing a doctor concurrently. Of course I recommend avoiding those that validate psych diagnoses. Most do not, and most who know what they are doing will not recommend therapy or psychiatry to their patients.

Very important NYC mental health lawsuit!

Check this out:

We need to continue to do this! The more these trials get publicized, the more people will turn against the status quo mental health system and demand change. Or, they’ll be so turned off by it that they will learn to avoid it, meaning less of the public’s money pouring into a bogus practice. Can we turn the corner? Can we make mental health care history? Can we make it into something only appearing in history museums as the most outrageous human rights tragedy in history?

Does the number of lives destroyed by the mental health system outnumber the 11 million killed in the Nazi Holocaust? I hear even more were killed by Pol Pot’s regime and also larger numbers killed by Mao in China. The atrocity of psych labeling has affected millions of people, wrecked many lives and killed many of us. I believe statistics will show that the MH regime has destroyed in the worst way of all time. All this has yet to reach the general public, but it will.

Moderated off MIA again

I wrote the following, which is the absolute truth about what happened. MIA doesn’t want others to know, so they moderated the following comment off of their site:

“MIA limited how many articles I publish with them. I do not see the same rule they claim exists applied to others. When I objected to the obvious double standard, the MIA editors encouraged me to write in the comments. What an insult! The comments are hidden and often, not even read. I don’t even want to bother. I got disgusted and come here a lot less often. I chose to move MIA down lower on the totem pole of what is important to me in my life. I am very happy I did that.”

Steve McCrea seemed to think it was unproductive. His words were “there is nothing to be gained…” Wow, nothing to be gained by MIA, of course. I know of a number of groups that are organizing outside of MIA. Many of the participants are folks who got disgusted just like me. I told Steve outright that as soon as I am moderated off MIA I publish the censored comments here in my blog.

MIA editors have no appreciation for the fact that I have been blogging for longer than MIA has been around. They have no clue how often I blog or what I am up to here. They have no appreciation for the work I have put into my own writing or my degrees or the years I spent earning them. Why? Because I am not a mental health professional. Plain and simple.

Actually, artists on a whole are underappreciated in our society. People see the arts as child’s play or a hobby. Fun time! Actually, writing and all the arts are a lot of work! Whether or not you have formal training you have likely worked very hard at honing down the skills and esthetics, and developing your artist’s voice.

MIA is not the only fish in the pond. I told Steve that MIA was losing out not only by refusing to publish my work but to successfully turn off many others who are so disgusted they won’t even submit to them.

There are other groups out there, many of which have been going on quietly even before MIA existed. Keep it up, folks! If they are going to continue to endorse MH professionals due to their bogus degrees, of course they will lose readership, lose valuable members, and ultimately end up a pro-psychiatry site.



What about mindfulness…OOPS!

In my last post I wrote that I had “chopped the dog and removed the bones.” I have not edited this out because I think it’s so funny. No, that’s not quite right! I wonder if anyone noticed…..

I left out the word “food.” “Chopped the dog food and removed the bones.”

Many apologies to my adversaries who can hardly wait to accuse me of violence, recklessness, or “mentally ill and off meds.” Not quite!

The truth is that I write so fast and think a number of words ahead of myself that sometimes this results in omitted words.

Ability to write spontaneously is a gift I highly treasure. I don’t think most people can do this as well as I can, as it is. My ability has only increased now that I am away from the MH system. Most people, patients or not, cannot write spontaneously. I know this from observing my coworkers and seeing the obligatory notes they leave…or don’t leave since they can’t really read and write.

Half the country is illiterate. This is a sad statistic indeed. This even includes college students and people with really good jobs. This includes nurses who can’t seem to write proper chart notes, some doctors who are likewise disabled, and social workers. Many of my coworkers panic if they have to write an email…or they write one very badly (I have seen this) or they paste stuff due to their own inability to construct proper sentences.

I suppose I am indeed fortunate. I am super healthy and also literate. I also have a hidden talent for sounding very professional over the phone.  To my adversaries, what a surprise indeed because I they claimed I was disabled…..oops.

What about mindfulness?

The mental health system, starting sometime in the 1990s, started touting “mindfulness” as a way to overcome various maladies such as anxiety, insomnia, and depression. They continued to push this mindfulness idea until we were all plenty sick of it. They even used the criticism, “You aren’t being mindful…” to insult us if they didn’t like what we were up to.

Unfortunately, the pushing of mindfulness did not have good consequences for many of us. I now hate yoga and can’t stand the idea of meditating. Doing either gives me a post-trauma reaction, so I will not do these things.  Some people say they are both very helpful, but I can’t do either without bringing back terrible memories.

Secondly, they were wrong about a lot of what they were saying. Some of these mindfulness-pushers said that “multitasking” was a terrible thing that was bad for your mental health.

This, by the way, is total bullshit.

People with attention issues (might have been labeled ADD or ADHD) actually are really talented at multitasking. Some children can’t study without listening to music at the same time. This little trick is used by tutors and others who help these kids concentrate better. Another little trick is to chew gum while reading. This will actually help some kids read more efficiently. Distraction helps these kids, and will help an adult who is having trouble concentrating, too.

The mental health system will ruin a person’s ability to concentrate. I’m not sure how this happens but I have seen it with my own eyes. After several months of day treatment I was unable to read a book. Who noticed? My parents! They approached my therapists in a family session, very concerned. All of us assumed that it was “mental illness” that caused this. However, I know, in hindsight, that six hours a day of therapy had caused it! I was not yet on meds. The therapists didn’t seem to think it was very important to read books. Wow…..

Meds might also wreck one’s ability to concentrate, study, or work intensely on a long-term project. I believe this is because many of these meds interfere with one’s normal sleep patterns, actually producing fatigue, sluggishness, and a decrease in mental alertness.

What I have found out is that “multitasking” is a prized skill in the working world. A successful student will also, to an extent, multitask, because during the school year students are required to complete many projects simultaneously. A student has to keep track of a schedule of many activities, and also be mindful (sorry) of which projects are due soon and when he or she has to show up for class.

In the workplace, if you will not, or cannot multitask, you either won’t get hired or you will not last long on the job. Many jobs require multitasking and some even tell you this upfront during the application process.

I just did multitasking while doing my household chores. I had put some stew into my crock pot last night and I also put some dog food into my rice cooker to cook. This morning I saw that the dog food was done, so I unplugged the rice cooker and let that cool. I brushed my teeth with my new toothbrush and popped a xylitol mint into my mouth to improve oral health. I started three more small bucketfuls of laundry. Then I stirred my stew and added another ingredient. Then I tended to my laundry again. I swept my floor multiple times, took stuff down to the basement, put away my shoes that were lying around, swept again, rinsed off some laundry and hung it up so I can wear it tomorrow, threw out stray papers and junk mail lying around, wiped down counters, emptied the slightly cooled dog food into a bowl, transferred a bag of whole wheat flour into a large dispenser, used a folded-in Amazon box to keep my spices neat, wiped the counter again, cleaned the rice cooker with peroxide, cleaned the countertop underneath with more peroxide, chopped the dog and removed the bones. Stored the bones in the freezer so Puzzle won’t get them, then transferred the dog food into a quart-size yogurt container and put it away. Yes, I gave some to Puzzle!

And…I made coffee, walked the dog, poured my vitamins and swallowed them, made a solution of Vitamin C and magnesium citrate and drank that, drank my half cup of coffee, set up my cup and filter to make herbal tea later, mixed some powder supplement with applesauce and ate it, ate two Brazil nuts for the selenium content, chowed down on a few blueberries and blackberries, and ate a banana for the potassium.

I am now sitting down with my salt-free stew and writing this. Yes, eating at my desk! What a terrible sin, according to the mental health world. I will likely shower on my work break later today.

Could I possibly have done all that in only a couple of hours while I was a patient? Are you kidding? I would have been accused of mania! I’m not manic, just very efficient now.

Wow, that stew was good, too.

Please take the survey on antipsychotics!

Here is the link:

This is a very involved and comprehensive survey done by Will Hall. I filled it out explaining that massive doses of antipsychotic drugs cause insomnia and coming off will also cause insomnia, the most horrific and long-lasting insomnia you’ve ever experienced.