Setting up a new business

I have been working on setting up a new business, which I believe I mentioned to you all on here before. I have not spoken publicly about what the business is. There’s a reason for this.

People do not change their expectations of others instantly. I think a lot of people who know me seriously underestimate what I can do. The reason is that there’s the old me, the brainwashed mental patient me, and the new me, that can do many things I couldn’t do with a diagnosis and forced unemployment. A lot of people are still in brainwashed mental patient mode, that is, they fall prey to the brainwashing of the system that says, “Once an MP, always an MP.”

If I mention to anyone what this business is going to be, I bet I’ll hear a whole bunch from the naysayers out there. “You sure you can handle the stress?” (insulting). “What if you lose money on it?” (insulting). And so on.

I have learned. I shouldn’t be arguing with naysayers because they aren’t going to change their position. Instead, the best thing (and only thing) I can do is to prove them wrong.

Looking back, I have good track record at proving these folks wrong. One of these events was in 2005. I was told not to go back to grad school because “You’ll never succeed and you’ll just end up back here.” I didn’t just succeed. I put that event into my graduation speech.

I was told, “You will never walk or run again.” (2011). This was very false indeed. I have run a few road races since then!

“You will die if you don’t have psychiatry in your life.” (2013). This is false. Had I stayed with psychiatry I would be dead by now.

“Your kidneys will only get worse and worse and you will have to go on dialysis.” False. Here are my creatinine levels: 2.40 (2017), 2.99 (2018) 2.78 (2019, starting to turn around) and and the next one pending because I have a fracture. Any bets? How about 2.60? I apologize for writing the wrong amount in a previous post. I had written 1.99 instead of 2.99. If I can get my creatinine down to 2.6 my eGFR will go up to 19. It has already gone from 16 to 18. I bet I can get it over that 20 mark. Wanna make a bet?

That said, I don’t share what my business is going to be to avoid naysaying remarks. These low expectations that others have for me is bad for my morale. What is different is that I understand now that naysayers are just going to continue and it’s not my job to get anyone to change their minds about me. It’s their job, since it’s their closed minds. It’s my job to prove them wrong. Again.


What do you think of this article?

To get to the story, put in a fake email address, one you have not used for the Globe before. That way you can access all their articles. If it won’t take your fake email, clear you cookies and then, try again.

What do you think? Do you know people who won’t buy from certain companies or buy products from China for supposed “ethical reasons”? Isn’t this getting extreme? If you don’t like outsourcing, buying an occasional product made in  China isn’t going to hurt the cause at all. What are you going to do? Refuse to drive on a street because it’s called Adolf street? Does anyone even dare name a street that? Enough people still won’t buy Fords. What do you think?


I am able to put a considerable amount of weight on my foot now. I am able to walk a little bit. I must be very careful to walk slowly and make sure I put weight on the foot evenly and not crooked. I ordered a pair of crutches from Amazon and they arrived yesterday. These are kiddie crutches! They are lighter in weight than the adult crutches. I got them from Amazon Warehouse for $20 including shipping. These are absolutely perfect! I suppose I will donate the other crutches to charity. Someone will appreciate them! So now, I’m not using the rolling chair. I’m not using the walker as I do not need it anymore. I am using kiddie crutches! I no longer have to worry about damaging my core muscles all over again because I don’t have to hold my foot up. I can set it down.

I am now, finally, able to walk outdoors. I took my own trash out earlier. I felt so, so awesome being outside, even though I did not go far. It also feels awesome not to have to ask another person to do this for me. I should be able to walk Puzzle very soon. I have arranged for the dog walkers to come for the remainder of the week. After that, I think I will be just fine. They wanted me to pay by check but thankfully, I explained my check situation and they took a credit card instead.

I should be able to get down to my basement today. I’m thrilled that I can do this today, later when my training is done!

(yes, I am doing a blog entry during my training because the training is seriously a waste of time….)

As of now I am able to get to the nearest ATM also! I’m also able to get to the nearby gas station and buy bananas! I am able to walk to the bus stop AND walk onto the bus! This afternoon I plan to take the bus to do some shopping! I plan to bring a rolling cart but I am not going to buy that much. Given that my ankle is still broken, I can’t carry a knapsack right now.

The swelling has lessened but it’s still very noticeable and pronounced. The pain was still there a few nights ago but not last night and has never been so bad I had to take a painkiller, or, in fact, take anything at all. I’m really excited about going outdoors and taking a bus…anywhere!

Have you guys heard anything more about DeWayne Craddock?

I have learned that he sent in his resignation by email Friday morning. I am wondering why this bit of information was held back until now. Apparently, the reporters were asking the wrong questions, asking whether he was fired, and the city said no.

I happen to know that a person doesn’t just resign after 15 years without a decent reason. Either he found a better job, or he decided the one he has sucks.  They should be able to break into his email account to see if he was accepted at another position.

He did kill his direct supervisor. The city is remaining mum on whether there were conflicts with this sup. What do you guys think? The supervisor could have been nice as pie. But on the other hand, the supervisor might have been a terrible bully.

The investigators have interviewed everyone who worked for the city. There is no mention of the gym where the guy apparently spent a lot of time. The neighbor knows which gym it is. Why don’t they go there and interview people? I don’t happen to talk to anyone at my gym, well, rarely, but maybe he did. Maybe he engaged in “locker room talk” the way guys are said to do.

The reason why I think they need to interview the gym people is to find out if he used steroids or any type of supplement that could cause aggression. Many of those muscle-building supplements do cause behavior changes. They use all kinds of performance-enhancing drugs theses days. Yes, people do figure these things out and they do stupid things, too.

I think they know more than they are letting on, don’t you? Why does the media say, “disgruntled worker” when it doesn’t sound like he was that disgruntled?

You know what is going to happen? Everyone is going to worry about the average guy next door now. I have a few of those. Do you? We no longer have to worry about the eccentric artists. What eccentric artist ever did a mass shooting? Nope, now, we worry about the “average” guy. The average guy at the workplace. The average student. Anyone a little too average to be believable, right?

Life’s improvements

Yesterday I graduated from rolling around on a rolling chair to walking on a walker. Today I am able to put some weight on my broken ankle, I’d say maybe 25% of my weight. So I can just put it down but not walk on it. My core muscles have healed from whatever the heck I did to them.

Life got a whole lot easier when my friends brought over the rolling chair. I can’t see how I would have gotten by without it. At the time I was not able to hop around at all. If I couldn’t hop, the only other option would have been to purchase a rolling chair. Renting a wheelchair wasn’t possible because I don’t have insurance. Apparently without insurance you can’t rent equipment. You can only purchase it even if you only need it for a few weeks.

When Joe got his wheelchair fixed, the repair person would have a loaner chair for him to use until his own chair was fixed. He said that the loaner chairs tended to be poor quality. I am not sure if I am remembering properly, but at one point he replaced his wheelchair because the one he had been using for years was too worn out.

You have to be fitted for a wheelchair if it is going to be a long-term arrangement. The wheelchair techs will measure you and then, plan and create one that matches you perfectly, that is comfy to sit in and easy to self-propel. The technology behind a decent wheelchair is amazing. These are built like high-quality bicycles. The wheels of some of them can be removed easily for transit and they are lightweight. Joe used to fold his and with one hand, lifted the wheelchair into his car. I admit I couldn’t possibly have done that with one hand myself, but he was very strong. Insurance should pay for this. If it doesn’t, you can expect to fork out at thousands of dollars.

Of course, if you’re only going to rent one for a few weeks there is no sense in having one custom made for you. Anything will do if you can fit into it. I was considering a rolling stool. (Yes, it does make me think of gynecologists…so maybe not.)

Today I am pretty much graduated out of the rolling chair, though. Looking back, I realize now just how tough things were when I realized I had injured my core muscles. It was overwhelming trying to do anything at all. Years ago, I would have gone running to the therapist claiming I “can’t cope.” Really, what I was having trouble “coping” with was not emotional, but practical.

Here is an example: I had to return something I had purchased from a third-party seller on Amazon. I asked for the company to arrange a pickup of the package. They gave me the hardest time imaginable. Finally they sent me a Fedex label and told me to print it out and then, bring it to a Fedex location.

Unfortunately, that wasn’t possible, and was difficult even before I broke my ankle. We do not have a Fedex location nearby. I found a Walgreen’s finally. To get there I would have to take the bus, then walk a distance and cross at a dangerous street crossing. Yes, it can be done. It can’t be done with a broken ankle, though! I couldn’t walk to the bus stop and couldn’t walk to Walgreen’s. I had an exchange with the company. They wrote that there was nothing they could do since they’d already sent the label. Those idiots told me to use the label and bring the box to a Fedex location. Again.

I went straight to Amazon explaining that I had asked for a package pickup and explained why. The first time I tried, they denied me an A to Z guarantee because this was a 3rd-party seller. I phoned Amazon again and explained my situation. The rep went back and looked at my emails back and forth with the company. She said that I can clearly stated, again and again, for a PICKUP and they had not honored this at all. She appealed back to Amazon and next thing you knew, I was given a refund. Finally.

This is the kind of thing I dealt with, day in, day out. I had packages show up at my door that I couldn’t bring inside because they were on the wrong side of my screen door. Finally, I printed out a huge sign telling the delivery people where to put packages so I could bring them in. I had no way of taking out the trash, either. It was accumulating in here and there was nothing I could do. It seems like such a small thing, but accumulation of trash meant these items were taking up space, limiting my mobility. I called the elderly agency to see if I could hire someone (for a five-minute task!) and they wanted to send someone who would help me bathe, etc. I said I did not need this at all (panicking at the thought of an “aide”). Only a person to take out the trash. They referred me to some agency…but then, the dog walker I had hired took the trash out for me.

In my case, “can’t cope” meant practical difficulties, not emotional difficulties. If it was 15 years ago I would have ended up with multiple panicked calls to the therapist. It would have meant calling the psychiatrist because the therapists usually weren’t available. The psychiatrist would have told me to “take a PRN.” Guaranteed.

Risperdal would have done nothing to help. Nothing at all! It wouldn’t have made my trash magically march outside to the trash barrel. It wouldn’t have hired the dog walker. It wouldn’t have alerted my friend to bring over the rolling chair. In fact, it more likely would have slowed the process, somehow this being “proof” to the mental health establishment just how poorly I “coped.”

Of course, I know this now. Decades too late.

For years, I had turned to them for help with things they couldn’t possibly help with. Instead of telling me this, they continued to act like gods who blamed all my misfortune on my so-called symptoms, and they, the ones who claimed to solve everything, “treated” my “symptoms” with brainwashing and disabling drugs. No wonder my life never got better until I left them far, far behind!

Adam Lanza: Victim of psych abuse…the story comes out finally!

Paul Fox, Psychiatrist of Sandy Hook School Shooter, Guilty of Sexually Assaulting teenaged female patient

Thanks so much to Psych Search for bringing this to our attention! I had known almost immediately, years ago, that Lanza was a victim of psych abuse. No one listened to me then. Now the truth finally comes out!

DeWayne Craddock: We will learn more

I have no clue why the media is taking the stance of “focus on the victims” when the victims were random people, except for their location at the time they were shot. It’s very clear that Craddock shot at random. Yes, it’s tragic when people die. People die every day, though, and I don’t understand why these random unlucky people are now the major object of media attention.

Why do we need to focus on the shooter? Because obviously, we need to study this kind of thing to prevent more shootings. This is not some random occurrence. He did this deliberately and purposefully, and knew exactly what he was doing. Probably.

One version in the media states that he was recently let go. However, this didn’t seem to be true since he still had a pass card to get into the workplace. Another report stated he had been unhappy at work for the past few years. One report stated he had gotten into violent altercations at work, but the other reports deny this.

He spent a lot of time at the gym. His neighbor described him as “jacked.” (I didn’t even know what that meant so I had to look it up.) They know what gym he went to. Why don’t they ask the folks at the gym? So far, I have not seen any interviews of his gym buddies.

Was DeWayne Craddock taking anabolic steroids? These are drugs that bodybuilders sometimes take. If he was, then that would explain his actions, wouldn’t it?

Bodybuilders often do take steroids and other “supplements” because they think these things build bigger muscles. Here is a listing of the side effects of these drugs:

Is it possible? I have been hearing about the dangers of these supplements. Do you suppose anyone is going to look into this? I think someone should.

Was the Virginia Beach shooter on psych drugs?

We don’t know yet. The reports are coming in about this one. He was an employee or former employee there, and had been for a long time. He’s dead. He killed 11 people.

Wait a while and follow the news. We will find out. When the public finally WAKES UP then the pharma companies will have hell to pay.

Incident at local credit union

This occurred a week ago. I was so shocked afterward that I did not know what to say or do.

As my regular readers know, I broke my ankle on Monday, May 20th, 2019. Afterward, I was barely able to get around at all. I was in a lot of pain. Suddenly, though, I realized the only way to get a bill paid on time would be to walk over to the CU and pay in person. It was not far away, a block or two, but this was going to be a major challenge for me given the amount of pain I was in.

Could I do it? I wasn’t sure. Had I known what would happen I certainly would have taken an Uber. However, we human beings can’t predict the future very well, can we?

As it turned out, I was only able to hop two inches forward at a time. The first few steps out my front door, into the street, and then, about five feet more toward my destination was not difficult. Then, after that, I was able to take one two-inch step at time and after each step I had to wait about 20 seconds for the pain to subside.

There were two places that were seriously hurting. Actually, three. One was my right hip joint because my body isn’t used to hopping with my entire weight only on one side. The other was my left knee, since holding my leg up was stressing it out. Remember, in addition to breaking my left ankle, both knees were smashed and bloody, and my entire face was smashed in, bloodying my mouth and chipping my two front upper teeth (much more than they already were!). My lip was swollen and I still have a lisp from all this. I did not look so great, but I had to pay a bill!

Even worse was my entire front core area. This was what hurt so badly I had to stop continuously. I believe I pulled something in there or damaged those muscles somehow from hopping around. This wasn’t a sharp pain but bad enough to make me winded and nauseous with every step.

Getting to the credit union also involved hopping up a steep hill, so steep I feared I would never make it all. I had to go even slower trying to get up it. Finally, I reached my destination. They did have a ramp. Doing the ramp took forever and the door was heavy to open.

I was obviously struggling and in a great deal of pain by the time I arrived. I made my deposit quickly and made sure it went through. I knew I couldn’t possibly make it back. What could I do?

I sat down outside the credit union for about a half hour hoping someone would offer me a ride. No one did. People walked by and acted varying degrees of friendly, but most ignored me and avoided looking at me.

I was a regular customer there. I used to go in all the time to get change for the bus. I had been a member for well over a year.

A woman who worked at the credit union came out and told me I had to leave. I don’t recall her exact words. She said I can’t stay out there begging people for rides.

I explained that I had not begged anyone. I said that the most I had said was “Hello” and I’d said that only one time. But the employee said that a customer said I’d begged for a ride.

Okay. So clearly, they believed him over me. At that point, there was nothing I could do. I couldn’t leave, either. I couldn’t go anywhere at all, and here I was, being profiled at the credit union where I am a member! I believe I was profiled based on appearance. Yes, I admit, I looked like a tramp but that was unavoidable at the time.

There were no Ubers in range. I called a cab and an hour and ten minutes later they hadn’t shown up. I summoned Uber again. He was 20 minutes away. That would do, wouldn’t it?

I was dying to get out of there. When the Uber arrived I was so relieved I almost cried.

I don’t want to walk in there ever again. What they did is sickening.

I don’t need that account there anymore anyway. I moved the various bill pays out of that account and into others. Now, I plan to close the account entirely. I plan to do this in person, after I am healed from this injury. It might be a while!

My plan is to go in there dressed up if weather will allow. I will wear something one might wear to a job interview. I will even put on makeup. I hope to speak to the person in charge, explain why I am closing the account.

Profiling based on appearance is wrong, period. I got enough of that when I was overweight. Sadly, this is a common human flaw. If a person is using a wheelchair. If a person has dark skin or is wearing attire that reveals they are Muslim. If they are speaking another language. Discrimination against someone who looks like they’ve been beat up is just as terrible as any other type of profiling.

As soon as I made up my mind I was going to close the account so that I would never, ever have to walk in there again I felt that the situation was resolved.