Thankful for……

I am ever so thankful that I still have passion in my life. I am thankful that I am not such a sheeple that I can still stand up for my rights. I am thankful that I do not take NO for an answer. I am thankful that because I am not a sheeple I have plenty to say. I never run out of words to write, which is why I never get Writer’s Block. Never.

I am grateful for my sense of humor and the fact that not having heat in the house has now generated five or six original blog entries. Whoopie! What would I do if I did not have this amazing gift? Sit and twiddle my thumbs and feel sorry for myself? What do you think I do when I don’t get calls coming in while I am working? Nothing? I don’t waste my life, folks!

I don’t waste my bad luck, either. I take advantage of it and write stories about it. I write jokes and try to see the humorous side of life. Is that gratitude enough? I am grateful that I don’t shove it other people’s faces. I don’t push “oh you have to be thankful” on other people. I figure if someone else wants to cry over the shitty situation they’re in, they have that right to do so. They can make that choice if they want to. They can sing, dance, whatever. If they want to dance in the nude in the snow they can enjoy the frostbite later on. If they want to jump in the lake, go ahead. People do! I don’t want to be criticized for choosing not to dance naked in the snow.   Hey! Do I want to be sent to the nuthouse? Besides, folks, it’s COLD out there!

Happy thanksgiving!


Okay, gratefulness-touters, take this!

I have no heat in the house. I want to ask any gratefulness-touter if they have ever been through something like this, and for how long. A day? For me, it’s been since April. No, I did not have A/C in the summer, either. I am not that spoiled.

Guess what I am grateful for? The brief hot flash I just had. Off came the hat. I got to toss aside the gloves I am wearing while working. I took my coat off, too, and even my sweatshirt-jacket. Off. I am wearing jeans and a t-shirt. I bet you men are jealous of me now. Wow, those women have it made, don’t they? Sure they do. The guys freeze and women get hot flashes and get to stay warm…for a split second.

happy thanksgiving.

What are YOU thankful for?

I am so grateful that I don’t have any thankfulness-pushers around in my life these days. Aren’t you? I can’t stand the gratitude-attitude shove-it-in-your-face touters who walk around with their noses in the air claiming that everyone suffers equally. I do not for one minute believe this is true. They’ll tell you they went through a divorce ten years ago and how that month was “such hell”…and you are there on the bridge holding a sign asking people who are driving by for a few coins please hoping the job you applied for says “yes” finally because it is getting cold out. No, people do not suffer equally. No, the person on the bridge didn’t “do it to himself” and is not a sinner. He simply ran out of luck. Was dealt a bad hand. That is all. Get real.

No, the guy on the bridge isn’t lacking in gratitude. He is cold. I am cold. I spend most of my time these days thinking about how to stay warm. That is how I spend my time and energy. A lot of my 60 years of winters have been like this. Immense fight to stay warm. Even now that I am employed and can afford a decent place. Fighting to stay warm.

Now I have written a letter to the city here explaining my situation. I am calling them first to ask if I should bring the letter or if I can mail it. Might contact the attorney I contacted the other day.

Yes I am grateful that I am not homeless and very grateful to be employed but as for the gratefulness-touters, why don’t they spend their energy helping people stay warm, get jobs, get themselves out of homelessness, instead of wasting energy claiming people should be grateful for their unlucky lot in life? Do you get my point? They are wasting their high-fallutin’ energy. Why not do something useful?

Huge news out of Dartmouth College

SEVEN women came forward, six grads and one undergrad, accusing three tenured professors of sexually assaulting them in the form of “hot tub” parties and even groping them out in the open. They were raped and then threatened and told their careers depended on their continuing cooperation. They were forced to “groom” other female students also.

Do you see the parallels? Yes and no, right? Note that if any of them went to the cops, I bet the cops did nothing at all!

The yes and no: Likely, sexual assault is not the norm for Dartmouth College. While it is likely tolerated far too often, unlike what these trustees claim, it is against Dartmouth policies. Are these policies actually enforced?

The parallel: Abuse is not in the written policy for inpatient psych units. While it is against policy and against the law, when it occurs and when a patient or two comes forward, patients’ claims are ignored. Hospital admins claim that the patients were not abused, or claim that the policies were followed or that the records, which have been fudged, claim nothing went wrong. Going to the cops is generally a joke. You get a free ride right back to the place where you were abused.

If I am guessing right, these students felt terrified. Trapped. Cornered. Rape is a crime. Don’t you go to prison for that? Are these profs going to be tried in a court of law, or are they each going to pick up jobs teaching abroad? Hey, Australia, China, New Zealand, be on the lookout for……

This morning

I slept well last night, for the first time in about a week at least, and do not have a headache this morning. This tells me that the headaches come from lack of sleep, not from the kerosene, although the insomnia itself could come from the kerosene fumes! I am freezing cold. I have three heaters on me right now. I am wearing a winter coat, two hats, gloves (the other gloves sprung a hole in them a minute ago!) and rubber boots that I armed with warm insoles and toe-warmers. This coat is not good for wearing outdoors but is a great “house coat.” I bought it to look “professional” but unfortunately it seems to be designed for walking from a car into a building, certainly not for outdoor use in winter. Too bad…looks nice anyway. It has become my house coat. I wore it to bed last night and it still doesn’t smell like Puzzle. Puzzle also slept very well! We were snug as a bug in a rug!

It is my day off. I am making bread, making dog food, and typing these words to you. I have two gallons of kerosene on reserve for me at Walmart which I am going to pick up shortly as soon as I get up the guts to take the bus over there. Two gallons are not going to last long.

When, oh when, will the HVAC guy get here?

I heard from the supposed new job yesterday. From start to finish, it will take them nine weeks (doing very complex math here!) to hire me. Three weeks to decipher my initial application, which they have done, three weeks to decode my interview, which I have already done, and then, three weeks later, do a phone interview. I believe it will be phone…PLEASE be phone and not in-person because phone will not give away my age! I am sure I did stellar on my taped interview…sure of it at this point. It was rather easy to get through. I heard also that after they tell you “You are hired! Welcome!” it takes yet another three weeks to finally “onboard” you, that is, even after you sign the W-2 forms.  So long as those forms are signed, sealed and delivered I will finally be home free. Does that mean 12 weeks? Or more? Can I cheat and use a calculator to figure this one out?

I’m getting fairly good at typing with gloves on. Do they make specialty keyboards for this? Can one be ordered on Amazon? Can they deliver to the North Pole, please?

I’m trying to figure out why I slept well last night. I was thinking that I have reduced my protein intake and maybe that has caused insomnia. I wrote to this naturopath I know who did not answer my question. I was very disappointed with the response. “Ask your doctor.” Geez. Doc Shillington would never give me a response like that! Doc Shillington, whose nickname is “Doc” but who is not a doctor, is my favorite naturopath!

My response? “Ask yourself.” So I will ask myself. The best answers are already there! That means I already know the answer. Let’s see….What did I do differently yesterday? I worked all day even though my head was killing me. I didn’t have a bad day at work, no truly nasty customers, all were awesome, in fact. I went to bed early but I have no recollection as to exactly when. I did not eat meat yesterday… I have not had meat in ages.  I did not have fish although I have tried eating fish now and then to see if it helps me sleep better. I did have chili, made of buckwheat, a tiny bit of ground-up kidney beans (about a tsp), ground up almonds (almond flour), veggies, spices, ghee (lots), and I cannot recall what else. I ate popcorn drizzled with MHT oil and I sprinkled chorella on it, but not a lot.  I can’t recall what else I ate.

The buckwheat chili is a recent invention. It so closely resembles real meat chili or sloppy joe! You can add chopped tomato or tomato paste, too. I’m going to pick up some tomato powder which will be economic in the long run.

Was it the buckwheat chili that helped me sleep? Or was it just random good luck? Will I go another week having bad sleep and headaches before I have another good night like last night? Maybe I should just celebrate and enjoy the day. Besides, it is my day off. Too bad the weather sucks badly. Freezing rain, sleet, snow. I’m off to buy kerosene by bus so that I will not freeze worse over the next few days. Since I’m getting so good at typing with gloves on, do I now earn a certification in it? Can I put that on my resume? I hope the bus doesn’t crash driving on the ice. What are YOU doing today?

Puzzle is snoring!

Heat and cold

I am more sick than I realized from breathing the kerosene fumes. I have had a nonstop headache now 24 hours. I don’t sleep. Well, barely. Likely due to the headache but I am not sure. Freezing at night but I can cuddle with Puzzle and she is cold, too. I have seen her shivering.  Tonight I will get out my warmest sleeping bag that goes down to zero degrees F.

I can’t go out tomorrow because I can’t leave her here in the cold.

It is hard to eat and I have lost weight, too. I cannot bear going outdoors for longer than a minute because it is so cold. I can’t walk Puzzle for very long, either. I can’t stand it out there because it is shivery in here. How I managed to work my entire shift today I am unsure. I wear a heavy coat and two hats all wrapped around me while I sit here and spoil my customers who buy $800 earrings for themselves. Sometimes I run a small electric heater on my feet.

I checked with my physicist brother. He tells me I should not turn on the furnace until the guy comes to tune it up, for safety’s sake. He says there may be a bird’s nest in there or debris. I have been waiting for this tuneup since last April! My brother says these tuneups take five minutes. How can the guy be that backed up that he can’t come and tune the thing up? I have sent messages repeatedly to the management.

Now what? Well, on the amusing side…I’m supposed to answer the phone for work saying, “Hello, thank you for calling ____. My name is Julie. How can I help you?” Sounds real professional, doesn’t it?

On slow days, I sit here and work on my book called Life After Lithium. If I am really into the book I have to stop myself from saying, “Hello, thank you for calling Lithium. My name is Julie. How can I help you?”

I have yet to screw up that way. I have come so darned close, though.

Hmmm….the nutcase blows her cover in an instant! It has not happened. Don’t hold your breath.


Excellent article on sleep that isn’t blameful

Check it out:

View story at

(Right-click in the blank space and choose “open in new tab” if you do not see any link)

Note that the writer doesn’t blame the insomniac for his or her insomnia. Did you know that the most common reason for insomnia in new moms isn’t “hormones” but “crying baby”?  Note that the writer doesn’t call difficulty sleeping a mental disorder and she doesn’t turn it inward? She states that many times it is caused by the environment or by the situation.

She doesn’t blame the sufferer for lack of sleep. Instead, she says that there are consequences if you are tired. Makes sense, eh?


Minimum wage in various states around the nation

This is something to consider if you are thinking of relocating. I’m not sure what’s up with Alabama. Can they really pay you pennies there? Look at Georgia and Wyoming. Maybe they need to catch up with the times. If min wage is $15 here, will Walmart et al move out? Interesting question. They’ve already closed down an awful lot of department stores here. On the other hand, if employers actually paid that much, folks would want to work all the shit jobs, wouldn’t they? There wouldn’t be shit jobs anymore. Walmart would be classy. People would move out of the slum areas into decent housing. It would change the entire class structure. I doubt the middle and upper classes would like that too much. They wouldn’t want the lower classes intruding upon them and breaking into their turf. The poor are supposed to be stuck with their cake, not hanging out at Whole Foods and Starbucks. Uh oh. Better keep it at $7.25 where it belongs. And don’t let the buses run through the wealthy part of town. Keep the poor outa here.