Mixed feeling about cross-posting my blog posts to Facebook

My feelings about cross-posting are mixed. The whole reason I am doing it right now are because I asked in a Facebook post “Does anyone want me to post blog posts” and I received a few “yes” answers. What has resulted? It’s gone back to the way it was before. I get very little, if any, feedback. I suspect people just don’t care. People read the first couple of sentences and don’t read any further. If that. Or they skip over the entries altogether. Overall, mostly, it looks like just like before, my posts go completely ignored, though there are a few that are stopping by. But what is the point of posting on Facebook if there’s no interest? Why not, instead, have those select readers who are indeed interested subscribe here, instead of posting to a dead audience on Facebook?

Even worse, to my shock, I get ignorant, insensitive people saying stuff to me like, “Hey, Julie, why don’t you start a blog?” and really, what can you say to such an insulting question? I’ve been blogging since the days when no one had heard of blogging and I probably write more than most who call themselves writers. (Please tell Rihanna, “Hey have you tried singing, you have such a pretty voice….” and see the reaction you get. Not trying to compare myself to Rihanna, but comparing the insult and ignorance.)

Another insult I got a while back that honestly, I can’t get out of my head and have a hard time letting go of was when a fellow alum said to me, “Oh, I didn’t know you were still writing.”

Yeah, it’s too shocking, an outrage really. I was disgusted and didn’t know what to say except to share with you all’s the lack of respect, the outright indecency and disdain revealed in that tiny remark.

I can only look back and say, “I don’t need your conferences, your publicists, your book sales, your money, your prestige, those famous elite you brown-nose with. Go hang out with the greats, you snobs. You deserve ’em. I am fine, doing okay, past all that, I do not need nor want the sales pitches now. Take your $$$ and shove it.”

As the song says, “The kid is all right.” And I am.


1998. McLean Hospital. Restraints and Seclusion.

This is a case of wrongful use of seclusion and restraints at McLean Hospital in 1998. I have never spoken of this before because I feared dishonoring the memory of my late boyfriend. I know, however, that McLean was at fault. I know the hospital will only say I am crazy. I also know some of the employees or former employees will back what I am saying. It is likely that they recall these events and will wholeheartedly agree, especially if they no longer have ties to this institution. Also, if any former patients recall these events, most likely they, too, will remember what I remember. Again, I did not come forward because I had ethical questions, but now I realize since McLean was to blame I should say something.

They put my boyfriend, Joe, who was paralyzed in his feet and below the knees, into a seclusion room and took away his wheelchair and any means to leave the room via crutches. He had only a bed in there, maybe a pillow, probably sheets or a blanket, maybe not, though. If they felt like it. They just left him there. On that unit they had a bathroom that could be used by the patient in the seclusion room if necessary, a single bathroom, but he couldn’t use it. He couldn’t get to it. They just left him there in that room, all day long.

Did they do anything for him? No. Nothing. They left him there, claiming they were short-staffed whenever I asked.

I went to visit daily. Every day. They let him smoke sometimes. Somehow he was allowed to go out and then they made him go back to seclusion.

Here’s the bad part. He told me they did not bring him any means to pee. Joe did not pee the way the rest of you men pee. He used a catheter. Catheters are tubes that let the pee out. This was due to damage to his bladder. So he used a tube. But the tubes, which were disposable rubber tubes, had to be brought to him. They didn’t.

Or, they’d bring a catheter but they didn’t bring a vessel to pee in, such as a urinal. Or allow him to go to that nearby bathroom. Or he’d fill the urinals they’d supply and then, refuse to empty the ones they’d brought. This was a technical problem, a much more common one than anyone realizes.

They Don’t Let You Pee. The No Pee Problem.

The No Pee Problem adds up. If you aren’t allowed to pee, if you are forced to hold it, you can develop medical problems. If you already have a damaged bladder, this can be extremely serious. Joe and I exchanged glances.

“They know this,” he said. “They know what will happen.”

He ended up with a very serious UTI. He got blamed 100% and the hospital took none of that blame. He had to have life-changing surgery as a result. After the surgery his self-esteem plummeted. Adjusting to a stoma was difficult.

None of those “staff” even thought that the man in seclusion had to pee, because he was a human being just like all of us. What if they had to come to work with a stoma every day?

All they did was yell at him, if I recall correctly. They said he was a nuisance.

The doctors called him an “interesting case.” To those doctors, I’d like to remind you we patients aren’t specimens, we’re human, just like you, like your wife and kids.

In most states. the law says a patient in restraints has to be let out and “checked” medically every two hours. And also “checked” every 15 minutes. How often have I seen this done? NOT ONCE. Zero. Never. It is often documented in the patient’s chart that it WAS done, but it is NEVER done in reality. NEVER. I have never once seen the law followed in regard to restraints and seclusion on psych wards.

None of this justifies restraints and seclusion. The fact that these staff cannot even follow the very basics of the laws and instead, rushes to extremes of cruelty, always resorted to illegal means, makes the use of these inhumane practices clearly questionable to any logical thinker.


Those who are put away are not insane…..

I think it was in Nebraska where a guy was put on pills for his back problem. These caused him to temporarily become delusional. He tried to break into a neighbor’s home and explained to his neighbor that he was taking over the property, that it belonged to his ancestors. The perplexed neighbor called the cops and the man was put away. Unfortunately, the man was unable to explain to the attending psychiatrists what had occurred. They insisted he had some “illness” he wasn’t aware of. For the next 20 years he was told this until someone finally listened. He sued the State and won millions. Imagine the losses.

What is the lesson learned here. Are we to say that this was an unusual occurrence? No! It isn’t! This is a commonplace occurrence. Realize that a commitment hearing takes ten minutes, deciding a person’s fate for the next six months. Who are the witnesses in such a hearing? The state is witness and the judge, who is an employee of the state, decides. Who holds the patient as prisoner? The state. Who benefits? The state gets paid thousands PER DAY. Who pays? Taxpayers. And the patient, who is losing his life, a life that could otherwise be spent productively and creatively like anyone else.

Who are these patients? I saw them and met them. Many were put away because their grades weren’t quite good enough. A few C’s. (Do you qualify?) Or they didn’t want to major in what their parents wanted them to major in. Or they wanted to divorce their spouses but someone disagreed. Or they wanted children but someone didn’t want them to have kids, or vice versa.

Or their parents did not like the way they wore their hair.

Or one day, the unfortunate patient said to her mom and dad, “Hey, I think I might be a lesbian.”

Or one day he got caught smoking pot in the basement. Has that ever happened to you?

Or her husband hit her, but when she tried telling the police, the husband told the police dude (who was his buddy) “Oh no, she is delusional and needs a counselor. She needs to talk to someone and get this straightened out. I think she’s been drinking again.” One-third of the women in the nuthouses were such discarded wives and divorce did not usually end the cycle, especially when kids were involved.

That pretty much accounted for most everyone I ever met in the nuthouse. That ole question, “What are you in here for?” We’d go around the room asking it, just like college students asking, “What’s your major?”

Has anyone had any trouble playing my posted audio files?

Has anyone run into problems playing the audio files I have posted? These can be both downloaded, if you wish, or played right in the browser. I keep trying to point them out.  Those who have listened to me have given me very helpful and positive feedback, and I thank you for that.

What is sad is that I am noticing they simply aren’t getting played! People flat out refuse to listen! They rudely make excuses! Sorry, no time! Later, I have to see the doc! Another possibility could be the fear factor, that folks are just plain scared to hear me, afraid to hear my voice. Maybe their old fears creep back, the Julie the Violent, Subhuman Mental Patient fears. A lot of folks are still afraid of me, and they have these ideas about me that I have these negative powers to do a lot of evil stuff I really don’t do (such as ruin people’s recovery, or that I am “pro-ana,” etc.).  I think many are still afraid of me after all these years. Afraid that if they hear my voice, some sort of “vibes” or “aura” will rub off on them. Or “negative energy.” That’s complete baloney. That they’ll catch it, too. This is such nonsense, but many believe this total fiction even after all this time has passed. I suspect this is the main reason why my audio files do not get played.

However, if you are truly running into technical problems let me know.

I do not hate Trump supporters…A list of what I do not hate…..

I don’t hate Trump supporters.
I don’t hate people who don’t agree with me.
I argue with them a lot. But I don’t hate them.
I might hate too many arguments but I do not hate the people who are vehicles for those arguments.
I don’t think it is a terrible sin to use the word hate.
I don’t think it’s okay to tell another person not to use the word “hate,” nor is it okay to silence another by saying that “hate” is a bad word or “triggering.”

In fact, sometimes, telling another person, “Hey, that’s triggering!” is an aggressive statement. Maybe we need to curb that a bit.

I don’t hate Trump supporters.
I changed my mind a lot, too.
I used to think I had a mental illness
I used to call myself all kinds of disease-names.
Now, I don’t.
It was very hard for me, painful, in fact, to realize I was wrong.
It is fine to change your mind. We all have that right.

I don’t hate Trump supporters.
Trump supporters are human, too.Trump is human, and he got elected president.
Someone has to get elected.
And chances are, whoever it is,
Someone is going to hate that person.

I highly doubt he is subhuman, nor a monster,
Nor does he have the superhuman nor Evil powers people claim he has.
Hate does odd things, including magical thinking around a person,
Both good and bad. I suspect the power he does have
Comes because he is president,
Because he is backed by corporations
By money, and by many other rich people.
And not by some evil supernatural force.
And folks, he is not the Devil nor Antichrist. If you believe this,
Kindly examine your values, your religious beliefs,
And your sense of reality. Maybe your hatred and GroupThink
And gang mentality
Has truly gotten away with you.
Kindly get back to reality here.

I am not a Trump supporter. I didn’t vote for him.
But I don’t hate those that did.
I don’t waste my energy that way.

In fact, how many times have I mentioned him in this blog? I bet
I have mentioned him more times in this one entry than in all entries, all together. And how many entries have I written? Four thousand? Something like that. I have not wasted my breath nor my sloppy typing. Don’t bother. We have other things to accomplish, other missions here. Let’s get a move on.

Psychiatry as reductionist science

Psychiatry uses one explanation only for human behavior without even considering the variety of possible explanations. This is what reductionism is.

“The reason for your behavior is your mental illness.”

There is no argument and no other possibility. This is a way that those in power wield their control over patients in the artificial two-tiered society they themselves create, using a mythological limited and rigid belief system, rather than a wide range of what is possible in life.

Restraints, Trauma, and Alteration of Traumatic Memory by Injectable Drugs

A recent print article in New Scientist illustrates what we psych patients and survivors, as well as veterans have known all along. Drugs have been used to lessen the traumatic effects of medical harm. I believe there’s a sneaky little motive here. While institutions may claim the drugs are used to “calm” the patient, it makes little sense to “calm” an already restrained patient with Haldol. Haldol causes akathesia, that is, the urge to move one’s limbs, often one’s legs. With both legs tied, this means for many patients, the agitation will only worsen. They will not be calmed! Secondly, Haldol isn’t particularly sedating. Thirdly, if the patient has never had Haldol before, why on earth would NOW be the time to give a brand new drug the patient could be allergic to, while the patient is tied down? Should he/she have a dangerous allergic reaction while restrained, this could all turn very quickly into a medical emergency.

I think the Haldol is given for an alternate reason. Let’s look at the circumstances…..

What causes a traumatic reaction, that is, a reaction of PTSD-type? When you are truly very very scared? Scared for your life? According to the trauma folks, there are two types. One is when you are being chased and running like mad, running for your life, pursued, such as pursued by an attacker, or when a tidal wave comes after you, or in a fire when you must run out of your home very fast. Another is entrapment, when you are stuck, cornered, locked in somewhere and cannot get out, or pinned down. Rape is a pinned-down situation, as is surgery, as is restraints. Seclusion or any locked situation can also be traumatic, especially when the patient is threatened or if there’s no end in sight.

Do these “staff” know that restraints are traumatic? I think so. They give the drugs because they know damn well that giving drugs reduces the traumatic reaction. They are less likely to be sued later on for medical harm.

This has been known for ages. We don’t need a study to prove it, but it seems whoever did the study has it down now on paper. Give a person some drugs or ECT and they won’t be too upset if you have abused them, raped them, medically harmed them, done horrible things during surgery, or otherwise nearly killed them.

How was your stay in the mental spa?

“Oh, very pleasant, thank you. I got put in restraints one night, but of course I was being obnoxious they said, so I suppose I asked for it. Very pleasant stay.”

If you hear stuff like that coming from the mouths of compliant patients, maybe the above is the reason.

How to tell if a person is inebriated

Until now, there’s been no measurable way to tell if a person is under the influence of a number of known recreational substances. Now, it seems that psychiatry has come up with a test to see if a person is hopelessly drunk or stoned! This is very scientific! While you are sitting in the psychiatrist’s office, he gets out a ruler, one in millimeters, and measures the diameter of your pupils.

If you compliant enough to allow this creep to do this, you are probably on all sorts of drugs.