This was the Movoto blog that rated these towns in Massachusetts. Watertown came in fourth, behind Marshfield, Reading, and Gloucester. By the way, Reading is pronounced “redding.” Gloucester is pronounced “Glaw-ster.” In case you were wondering. Bet you had no clue how to pronounce Watertown, did you? I’m not giving that one away. I’m not a very nice person. So they say.
Anyway, here’s the criteria for figuring out which towns were the “top ten.” Tell me if this ain’t a scream:
- Cost of living
- Crime rate
- High school graduation rate
- Median household income
- Median home value
- Amenities per capita (seafood restaurants, sports bars, Dunkin Donuts, museums)
- Amenities total (seafood restaurants, sports bars, Dunkin Donuts, museums, and distance from New York City—the further, the better!)
- The year the city was established (the earlier the better)
So go figure. That’s the most LOGICAL list I’ve ever seen! Cost of living…hmm, does that mean high cost of living is BETTER or WORSE? I’m not sure. It depends on how bad a snob you are.
Crime rate here I’d say is low, and we can all agree that crime isn’t a good thing. If you are a crook you most likely you don’t want to get caught. Does this mean that law enforcement keeps the crooks in line better here, or does it mean that the crooks simply skip past Watertown and don’t drop by, cuz the road traffic’s so bad?
As for HS graduation rate, what does this mean? Are our schools better, or do they keep the “bad kids” that they label and assume won’t succeed away from Watertown schools, and prevent them from enrolling in the first place? Do they not allow “mainstreaming” of kids that could succeed in public school? There’s no mention of racial and cultural diversity in schools across Massachusetts. There’s no mention of bully awareness, drugs in the school, teen suicide (of course this lowers graduation rate, duh), the bomb scare at Watertown High last week, and above all, if kids LIKE the schools. Are they enjoying learning? Do we have good teachers that are sensitive and smart and intuitive and positive role models and do they encourage free, independent, and critical thinking and do they care deeply about the kids? Do they communicate well with parents? Hmm, I have no clue.
Hmm…household income…the higher the better? And home value, the higher the better? Well, count me out. I cannot afford a to own my own home anywhere in the US, so if I stand a chance for better survival, it’s in a town where income level is lower, and home value is lower. I’d rather there be less snobbery. I don’t like the idea of being looked down upon by those that have more money than me. I dislike the idea that everything around me costs more than I can afford. Do I want to walk streets of gold? Do I want to go to clothing stores where everything is priced far above what I can afford? Clearly, I’d rather live in a town where everything is priced inexpensively, tailored to folks that have less money. I want respect. That’s far more important to me than a castle and riches.
Seafood restaurants and sports bars are of no use to me. Why? They don’t take food stamps and I can’t afford to go to them. A meal at these places costs $10. Far too expensive, plus I have to tip, too. That’s not including that cup of coffee and the salad and soup. Plus everything drowned in “mystery sauce.” So let those folks who think sports bars and seafood restaurants mean “This is great living” go to these places. I’ll buy plain, unpackaged ingredients for pennies with my food stamps, and Puzzle and I will eat like royalty.
Dunkin Donuts? Who goes there? This is a coffee shop for the cops. Cops go there while on break. If I show up, never fail, the cops are there, huddled together. Home away from home. So we have how many of these Dunkin Donuts here? Guess the cops have lots of places to go while on break. So what? I need a break myself. I need a hangout, too. My own coffee shop. So I make my own at home. What a disappointing survey that “Julie’s” isn’t mentioned! Just keep the cops outa here, please.
Museums I do like. We have an awesome one here, the Armenian museum. I’ll miss the Armenian and Middle Eastern flavor of this town, not even mentioned in this article. I love going to the “East End,” (not that we really have “ends” here), and shopping for the food imports from Lebanon. Apparently they come through Canada, but I’m not sure. I get all sorts of weird spices. Some spices you can get giant quantities cheaply, and they’re fresh and delicious. You’ll never know what you’ll find.
Distance from New York? Oh, please.
Age of town? I have something to say about that. I went into my bank the other day. I said, “I’m thirsty, and I’m wondering, could I have a drink of water?”
I’ve lived in this town and been a banking customer at that bank long before it was named what it’s named, since 1987. How long had this young teller been there? A few years? If that.
The teller answered, “No, I’m sorry, we don’t have water here.”
Folks, I’m not sure that it’s wise to move to Watertown. This building is over 100 years old, and yet, they haven’t installed plumbing into it, apparently. You should be aware that perhaps that whole block downtown has no running water. This seems archaic to me. I’ve asked. Yep, they won’t give me a cup of water!
Yet across the street, it seems they have indeed modernized. It’s such a relief that here in Watertown, they’ve installed pipes at last. The pizza place, under new management, told me, “If you are thirsty, stop by here anytime.” The nice guy showed me where to find their water pitcher. I guess I won’t quite lose faith in humanity yet. We’re so modern here.
The running water here at home seems to work okay. I thought you might want to know that. I seem to be having the last laugh here at home. That’s because I am a bit younger than the town of Watertown. If I had been here since the year the town was established, back in 1630, I think I’d be a little too old to be chuckling right now, probably hadn’t lived in Watertown for quite a while. See ya!