Make an antipsych video!

We are asking people to make antipsych videos no longer than 3 minutes. You can make more than one video. Each should be a standalone, that is, I would not suggest making “Part One,” “Part Two,” etc. Each should be a single, complete thought, experience, or idea.

I can make a few suggestions for those of you who are stumped. Please do not try to sum up decades of your life. What is more powerful is  a closer look at a single event. Try to focus on keeping your video unified, that is, focused on a single idea or theme.

You may wish to focus, say, on being grossly misheard or misunderstood. Or focus on uncomfortable or dangerous drug effects. Or focus on how you were lied to. And so on. Or talk about something you witnessed. (Please be respectful of the privacy of fellow patients.)

Remember, if you are an ex-patient, SUCCESS is the best revenge! Show the world the positive changes in you since you stopped mental health “care.”  If there have not been positive changes, if you are suffering from trauma or drug damage, then please don’t blame your suffering on your own mental disorder. Be sure to let the world know that psychiatry or therapy caused the harm.

There is an upload link but I do not yet have that link. We’re going to need these by April 30. They will be put up on YouTube and are being used for the APA Protest. Feel free to send an edited video if you like. We will be editing them anyway to make them look professional. You can use your real name or not, that is up to you.

Mostly, be creative! Best of luck!

Have a nice day, everyone!

I did not get all that work done. Maybe tomorrow.  I did wash the blanket and it is drying right now. I did not go pay my last taxes, but I did pay the utility bills and was on the phone a bit. I scheduled my rent payment and talked to the landlord on the phone because they have to do more work here. Mostly outside. That I know of, the guy never came.

I had some videos to do and I did not do them. Maybe tomorrow. I should have a good chunk of time tomorrow to get them done. I will also be posting some password-protected posts using a slightly different password. Use the same password as the last one, but add the number 2006.

Too much to do…but I will get it done!

I have too many things to do today, but I will do them!

I need to fill out paperwork that has to be submitted prior to a training. I have to get a TB test soon, not today but soon, which is easy enough to get done if I don’t have to wait in a waiting room (ugh!). The TB test is a requirement for a job. I need to arrange to get my transcripts mailed (or faxed) to someone. My worry is that there will be a delay with that. What else? I have to get one more background check done.

Make three calls to parents of my students, and document that I called them. This will turn into phone tag but I gotta do that today. Create a required video intro. Create APA Protest videos. Finish washing that blanket that Puzzle puked on. Go over a couple of articles that will be published soon, make sure everything looks okay. Write another article on ECT, or, more likely, write to the person who requested it and say, “No, I haven’t forgotten, it’s just that I’m kinda swamped.” Pay my local taxes. This is the last of the taxes due. I already paid the utility bills and scheduled a rent payment.

I am working today, all day until 3, working two different jobs. I look forward to talking to my coworker on the phone, talking about work most likely since she has some questions. Meet with one of my regular students.

Later, go grocery shopping! I need to buy brown rice, bell peppers, winter squash unless it is really old-looking, whole wheat pasta, beets, brown mushrooms, broccoli, Brussels sprouts, turnips, bananas, and I’m not sure what else. Cucumbers.

Tomorrow, I really have to give Puzzle a shower. I have most of the day off tomorrow except for one hour of teaching in the morning.

Success is the best revenge.

Now, the depression update

I am so glad I am no longer a mental patient! That depression I had would have worsened and worsened if I were still in the system. I would have hyper-focused on it. I would have called it a symptom. I would have told my p-doc, as we used to call our psychiatrists when we spoke of them online. The upping of any of my “meds,” for me, and for most mental patients, meant that the doc had heard your complaint and had taken it seriously. The validation alone made us feel much, much better. That lasted about three weeks or a few months while we were totally convinced the drugs “worked.” Then we invariably decided they needed tweaking. Again.

That was my life as a nutcase. This time, I quickly pinpointed why I felt depressed, although there wasn’t one single reason. I had quit my terrible job in a call center where I was not paid very much and bossed around by my supervisor. I knew that quitting was a positive thing. So why did I immediately feel like crap?

Depression was screaming at me that something needed to change. I suddenly hated my other job, my work-at-home job, likely disproportionately. I hated it so much that the overwhelming feeling caused me to stop working before the shift was over.

Was change even possible? I thought I couldn’t possibly get hired in a job where I got to use my intelligence and creativity. Creativity is frowned upon in customer service. You even get reprimanded for suggesting that there’s a better or more efficient (or possibly more fun) way to get things done.

I felt stalled, stuck, and like I was hitting dead ends repeatedly. Then, my level of desperation drove my ambition even higher. Things must change. Being desperate is not very comfortable, but for me, it was necessary to make the change happen.

What were my real career goals? I decided that making a positive influence on the world was my main goal. Helping others. Being in either a leadership position or in a role where I could make my own decisions. I decided on teaching. But could I get hired at a job I liked?

I thought of VIPKID and the similar jobs with companies from China. They’re very similar and have their drawbacks. I didn’t like the idea of having a collection of stuffed animals to use as props. This would bring back traumatic memories of “therapy.” I didn’t think I was using my best skills talking baby-talk to little kids. Also, I didn’t like having to follow a formula. VIPKID and other platforms give you the lessons and you have to follow them. They are very strict about that. Did I really want to be so limited?

Out of the blue I applied for a teaching position in a location that does not require a teaching certificate. While I doubt I got very far in the hiring procedure, I was amazed that the school department called my reference! Say what?

This was the confidence booster I needed. I have been hired at a tutor position for college students, and also got a position on an ESL platform that encourages free-form teaching. I am actually earning money at it at this point! In a month I will be training for another teaching position. I have already been through the required fingerprinting and other “checks” that clear me to work with children. My schedule is going to be so full with teaching gigs that I can safely reduce my hours at my customer service position. Already! And I have not had to give up the freedom that independent contractor work gives me. Already, I’ve been able to make a positive influence on others in a way I never dreamed possible! I have brightened people’s days, enlightened them, given them food for thought, and made them laugh. When I see a smile on people’s faces, the joy of learning something new, it is a joy indeed.

I have also learned from my students. In helping a student learn English, I also learned a lot about the new, advanced computers on the horizon. I am validating again and again what I always knew was true, that what many believe about so-called foreigners, typically stereotyped in the US (thanks, Trump!), are bullshit assumptions. It’s almost laughable what some Americans have been led to believe. (And I have a lot to say about that!)

Had I medicated the depression, or even if I had called it a disease instead of seeing it for a vehicle for change, I would not have made these amazing steps forward with my career. For me, the depression paid off handsomely. It did what it was supposed to do, and now it is gone. Hey, Depression…thanks for stopping by! It’s been real!

More great news!

This is certainly not table-talk, which was my parents’ term for, “Don’t talk about it while others are eating because it’s distasteful.” This blog is going to be distasteful. Shall I post a bodily fluids trigger warning?

When you  have kidney disease your piss is always cloudy and/or bubbly. This is because of protein in your urine. Cloudy, foamy urine becomes the new normal. A doc will tell you it’s a sure sign of hopeless deterioration and nothing can be done about it.

Funny, they said that about a lot of things. I would be anemic forever. I would never walk or run again. I was incapable of sitting in a room full of people. I would need psych “treatment” for the rest of my life or I’d die of the dreaded “relapse.” I would have to be “followed” by a nephrologist forever, and he’d guide me to my inevitable death. Really?

I think it’s been three days now. My piss is no longer cloudy and no more foam! It is also back to the usual color. When you have diabetes insipidus your piss will be clear, or nearly so. I know that sometimes herbal supplements or B Vitamins will make your piss yellower. Still, I can’t believe what I see in the toilet bowl looks like it used to. Like the way piss is supposed to look for me.

Maybe I’m dreaming. Okay, I’m hallucinating this, right? I’m delusional. Totally off my rocker.

But it’s true. I’m trying to figure out what I did right, or wrong, to cause this. I added two supplements at the same time. This is likely not a good idea if your aim is to assess if it “works.” These are both to improve sleep, and therefore, improve daytime alertness.

The challenge now is to figure out which one is also unintentionally helping my kidneys. I think I kinda know, but I need to continue this to see if it “sticks.”

I also feel better. The depression is completely gone. I’ll talk about that (again) in another blog entry. However, any improvement you do for your kidneys will help with depression, since kidney disease invariably causes depression and also, insomnia. I believe the insomnia from kidney disease happens due to changes in the endocrine system. I had to study it, learn about the role of aldosterone and other hormones, and the changes that kidney disease will cause. I also know for sure that years and years of polydrugging with multiple simultaneous antipsychotic drugs has certainly done some separate damage, but I don’t know which organ or system was affected. Not yet.

It’s like the answer is right around the corner, though. When I learn which organ was damaged I can work on correcting the damage. The only research I can find is on the harmful effect of antidepressants. I don’t think it’s the same. Those that were on drugs like Zyprexa also describe the insomnia as similar to mine. I suspect that the lacking of medical research in this area is because they don’t know, or they don’t want to admit it.

Coach #5

I actually paid for a “career coach” and signed up for a one-time session over the phone. That was supposed to be last night. I had to postpone a meeting for work knowing that I was going to be on the phone with the life coach at 7. I likely missed a work opportunity because of this.

I think it was around 6:30 that the life coach messaged me telling me she was “stuck in traffic.”  She said she was behind a rollover. Believable? Yes. She texted saying she would email me.

Oddly, or not so oddly, I have not received an email. Since I paid for this I need to speak up, don’t I?

From what I recall of my life coaching class, some of them seemed flaky and irresponsible anyway. I’m sure she really did get stuck in traffic…Or even if it wasn’t true you’d think she would get back to me.  I’ll give her till Monday and then, send her a text or email.

It’s not that urgent actually. Between the time I signed up for the session I have gotten myself several independent contractor teaching positions. I have had to pay for background checks, too, and I have some training to complete, also.