Good morning everyone. I have a question for anyone out there in Cyberspace who happens to be reading this. A while back I moved to a new neighborhood where by all means, no one had ever met me. They did not know my name nor know who I was.
I should add that last year on Fathers Day it so happened that my watch broke and a local store was selling them, “para los padres.” I was quite happy since the ONLY watch face I can see are men’s watches. I cannot possibly see those tiny watches they make for women. So I purchase men’s watches. Does this make logical sense? The price is the same, and you get MORE features and nice big numeros!
So I was quite happy. This supposedly being para mi padre, I am sure the salesperson thought it was weird that I wanted to see the wristband. Of course, the reason was that I wanted to ensure that the teensy holes continue so that I can make the watch small enough for my OWN wrist. Tee hee hee. I didn’t say anything about that. I bought the watch. The mercado people were happy with me. Plastico Americano (con nuevo chip).
Anyway, since then, complete strangers in my nueva casa who have never met me before have mistaken me for a señor, not a señora! uh oh!
What do you say when people do this? I have gotten a number of suggestions. One time, when I was inquiring about a bicycle, a lady didn’t know what I was, and, as she recognized where I was from she addressed me en inglés, she asked me “For what?”
Of course, she was asking this to avoid saying, “Hey, person, I have no clue if you are male of female so I want to know who you want the bike for.”
I told her, with humor, that the bike was “para mi” and that I was going to have to take a kids’ size. That took the pressure off the poor lady. What do you do if you’re a salesperson and you have no clue whether to send a customer to ladies’ or men’s? I am glad I am not in the sales business!
But back to these neighbors. I guess they were upset that the “hombre” next door moved in. And all these months, have been bitching about it, quite audibly. I had NO CLUE! I could hear them complaining and I didn’t know because they were complaining about a man!
They must have thought the man was quite effeminate, had breasts, was very short for a man, and a few other things as well, but never mind that. Never mind my name…..
Over the past month they have been saying audible swear words at the hombre next door. Audible enough that I can hear what they are saying. Why? Well, these folks next door run yard tools, loudly, yapping away, paparilla tools, hammering etc, and then, clunk clunk clunk, FINALLY, Puzzle lets out ONE bark, and then, they swear. So when Puzzle barks one time after their repeated clunking, they now add to THEIR noise by swearing. At HER.
What noise have I made? None. Ever. I never make a peep. Puzzle does not repeatedly bark like the other dogs in the neighborhood. Such as the dogs two doors over.
Furthermore, the neighbors in question own dogs. There are two dogs there, a big one and a little one. These poor dogs NEVER GET WALKED. The two dogs also bark, actually more than Puzzle ever does. So why are they swearing at Puzzle?
Don’t get me wrong, I love their dogs, from what I have seen of them. The dogs are sweet as pie and I always say “hola” to them. Especially that big one, he is at that “awkward” stage. I think the unfriendly neighbors are the renters who own the smaller dog, the teensy one. I have no clue why neither of these neighbors, the owners and the renters, do not walk their dogs, but that’s their business! And I don’t know why the renters say swear words about Puzzle since they own dogs themselves, and as far as barking goes, the ones on the other side bark much more than Puzzle ever does. Why do they swear like that, and what should I do?
The swear words are getting worse. Like they are annoyed at my very existence. I pay rent. I have a right to be here and enjoy my life. And the fact that I do nothing to impose on them, have never asked them to do anything (such as move their cars or asked them for any favors) then why are they swearing at me so audibly? Once I even brought over the mail that was sent here by accident (they were not home and never knew). What truly funny remark can I say to get them to stop?
“Hola, this is the guy next door you’ve mistaken for a woman. If you ever need any favors, or want to borrow lingerie, bras, or tampons, let me know.”