WTF? Group home with no fire exit!

Check this out! This needs to be flipped to an investigative journalist.

I don’t know how to spell her name. Liz Kowalski of the Boston Globe should investigate. Her address is in my email but too far back to search for. She is the one who looked into the Arbour Hospitals and broke that story. Please note: No ground floor exit is a fire hazard and those residents were in an unsafe situation! What other abuses were going on there that may have provoked this man to do this? We need to ask questions and not just stupidly claim he was some evil “mentally ill” monster. If there was no bottom floor exit, this is very very serious. This wasn’t even a hospital, it was a lower level of care, a residential facility. Flip this to her, please. C’mon you guys, let’s do some serious activism here.

That “me too” question, regarding academia, in case you’re wondering

I guess you folks are wondering if I ever had problems with any of my professors making passes at me. After all, I did a lot of school. I did have trouble with work situations. I was raped when I worked as a dishwasher. They left me alone when I worked for McDonald’s, though. Working, on the whole, sucked badly. I could hardly wait to get back to school all summer long, every summer! I was too smart for work!

As for college…no. No sexual advances, not from professors. Not even close. Not at UMass. From other students, yes, almost all totally mutual. One or two, not mutual, but these were not situations where power inequity (such as student/professor) was an issue, none except male/female, the male being stronger, so I’m leaving that aside for now.

At Bennington, you bet I heard stories. Such sexual issues were very common. My friend had to deal with sexual advances from ___ professor who was known to do that to the struggling female students. I told her to report him. She didn’t. Another was also known to do such things. He left me alone, though. Not one made advances toward me. Maybe my brains intimidated them.

At Emerson, I went though almost all of my academic work with no issues nor sexual conflicts whatsoever. I made it clear I was “taken” if ever I was worried.

One time there was a close call, I’d say it actually was an “advance” or perhaps an “offer.” No further than the “offer,” not forced nor coerced, just offered. I was firm.  I am taken, and that was that. But clearly, this was an offer. I believe he wanted this to be mutual. He was married, too.  I am not saying anything more.

At Goddard, no question about it, no advances, no difficulties whatsoever. I loved the time I spent there. There were stories going around but nothing I could really verify, and I doubt any of it was even close to true.

Academia served me well, but I suppose it is a world that is part of my past. Life should be like that. You shouldn’t have to worry about guys hitting on you in your daily life. It is too stressful to live like that. Way too stressful.

Essential medicine: Lobelia, garlic, cayenne

These are essential medicines and two of them you can find in your grocery store! Garlic you find in the produce aisle and cayenne (red pepper) is a spice! Lobelia is a little harder to find.

Don’t give any of these to your dog. I would not. Why? We don’t live in our dogs’ bodies and in my opinion, medicating dogs in any way is like treading in a place where we don’t belong. I feel like I’d be playing God doing that. It feels like I’m violating Puzzle and I would not do that. I do adjust her diet according to her taste, but giving her herbs and drugs on my own, absolutely not, simply because I cannot even begin to guess how she feels. I can only observe very carefully. The best I can do is to work together with a vet I trust.

Now as far as my own body goes, that is different. I feel my body, I notice stuff carefully. I have noticed now, for instance, three times I have had odd reactions to antibiotics. For instance, the anti-b’s I took for cataract surgery gave me an unpleasant reaction and I had to limit my intake. These were anti-b drops.

Now you may be saying, “Oh no, you have to follow doctor’s orders!” Think through this one logically. When you have an existing infection, you need to take the full course of anti-b’s. I didn’t have an existing eye infection. These drops were being given prophylactically. So even the doc admitted (when I pressed him to admit the truth) that the anti-b drops weren’t needed for a full course, only as preventative for a very short period.

I also had to take steroid drops. I noticed minimal side effects from the steroids, but eventually I stopped those, also, likely before I was supposed to. I’m fine! The object is to prevent inflammation. I took Turmeric (a spice) internally every day to reduce systemic inflammation and I have had a very smooth recovery from the surgery. I also took Vitamin C, not in huge doses but it’s my understanding that Vit C is vital to eye health anyway. Vit C is part of my “insomnia vitamin cocktail.” I take 1000 mgs every night of that.

Lobelia is a great herb for depression. I am really never depressed. I feel that I am not depressed mainly because I do not see a therapist. Therapy causes self-absorption and that, my friends, causes the worst ever depression. Think on that one a bit if you are in therapy and depressed! I would recommend Lobelia in the morning because if I take it at night, it gives me too much of a lift. Taking it in the morning will improve sleep at night (oddly).

I also take 5HTP in the morning, which improves sleep at night. 5HTP is iffy as long-term use is unresearched (which doesn’t mean it’s “unsafe,” it just means the stuff isn’t patented so they don’t put money into researching and don’t want you to know the stuff actually works). I think if you take it you should put yourself on “vacations” from it now and then.  If you take 5HTP also take B6 in the morning.

5HTP might be effective for binge eating for some people. Do not increase the dose beyond 300 per day. Often, decreasing the dose increases effectiveness! For instance, if 200 isn’t working, try 100. I have read story after story of people who take 600 per day and wonder why the stuff is ineffective. Do not combine 5HTP with antidepressants nor with Abilify due to risk of serotonin syndrome and other complications. Please!

Cayenne stops bleeding and will stop a heart attack, according to my naturopath. I tried drinking cayenne and water mixed together and yes, it did stop a stubborn nosebleed a couple of winters ago! Just drinking the stuff did it. You can also make a poultice of cayenne and apply it to your skin. In small quantities, it will induce a hot flash, but in larger quantities, it will be overkill and reduce hot flashes. I have really stopped all hot flashes since I started taking cayenne. I can also tolerate the heat better and I do not need AC. We are having a heat wave and I barely need to run a fan. It is such a relief to be over those hot flashes once and for all.

Have a healthy day you guys!

Should you buy drugs off the internet?

Well? Should you?

Yes and no.

Yes to vitamins. You can get good deals on vitamins you have shipped to you, especially something you take in large quantity or something you take long-term.  Most powdered vitamins (bulk) are cheaper are purer than other forms. By all means, you’re better off with capsules or powder than you are with tablets. I’ve heard that anything with magnesium stearate is not good, you need to stay away from that additive, however, this is unverified.

Some liquids freeze during transit! If you are having liquids shipped, make sure you keep this in mind. Oils are likely okay. Tinctures usually are not considered flammable as the alcohol content isn’t above 45%.

Don’t buy antibiotics off the internet. My issue with this is that in most locales in the US, it is highly illegal to have them brought in.  If you need an antibiotic that badly, you shouldn’t have any trouble convincing a doctor that you need one. Or go to another doctor. If you have gone to five docs, and not one agrees then maybe you do not need antibiotics for that common cold you have.  If, on the other hand, you have strep, go to a doctor. Do you really want to wait a full month for a package that might not even arrive?

Don’t buy Viagra or similar. Again, the legalities of this are really hairy and I bet a lot of that stuff you get is not really Viagra. Don’t buy Viagra with intent to sell. You will get into a lot of trouble for this. What if the person you sell to dies?

Don’t buy speed such as Ritalin, any benzos, or any scheduled drugs. This, again, will get you in serious trouble. Don’t buy opiates.  You might be able to find painkillers pretty much anywhere. Don’t buy them online.

If you buy pharmaceuticals on the streets, if you insist, stay away from name brand drugs and stick to anything that has gone off patent. This is my logic, but I might be wrong here.  Older drugs are more plentiful, cheaper, sell for less, are sold worldwide, made by many companies, and aren’t exclusive to one company or one manufacturer. A brand name drug is likely to be copied and sold as original, but isn’t. It is a copy, not even the same, not a generic even, lotsa filler. Think: the Walmart version. Remember the cheap-looking stuff you buy there, lower prices, imitations only. The prices are likely high and what you are getting is either inferior or totally not what your dealer claims it is.

Now some of you might be asking why I am even talking about this. Isn’t buying drugs off the street totally illegal and dangerous? Is it? Yes. Doing so it something I do not recommend.

Do you want to go to prison? Most do not. Do you want to be killed? Most do not.

Going to a psychiatrist is the most risky thing you can possibly do. You are guaranteed a psych diagnosis. You could get killed by the drugs you are given. Mental patients die 25 years too young. You could get hooked on the drugs (if you can’t stop, you are!). You could get locked up! See? I told you…PRISON!

And ask any junkie. A psych ward is ten times worse than most prisons out there.

Hmm…shall we stick to the internet?

I’m giving you a fair choice.  Shrink? Or dealer? You know, they talk about alternatives, right? Or is there barely any difference?


So we thought Aliquippa was nuts…Economy Borough is ten times nuttier

The Beaver County Times Online is so stingy you cannot read a single article from their newspaper without paying, but allow me, please, to summarize….

Aliquippa gov’t is corrupt, plain and simple, which of course the gov’t in Aliquippa doesn’t admit, but it’s true. Now many of these other boroughs are also corrupt but the Times is staying clear of discussion on the matter. Most articles cover concerts. Safe as can be!

If you can avoid the concert articles (they even go so far as to cover Westmoreland concerts just to avoid the important issues facing Beaver County)…You’ll see the latest on Economy Borough. Yes, that is right, folks, we do have a borough here called Economy. It is barely on the bus line, if at all, and covers a large rural-like area. Apparently, Northern Lights, a very dead shopping area, is in Economy, as is the Walmart near there (obviously, we know how the killing happened), but I thought Northern Lights was in Baden. Apparently not. (Northern Lights is still a popular bus stop, but they keep moving the stop around. They still have a Giant Eagle there, by the way.)

Now what the heck is going on in Economy? I thought that was a quiet town, but apparently not. Until very recently, we’re talking late 2016, they were saying the Lord’s Prayer at Borough Council meetings.

Hey, do we have a Constitution here that states, “Separation of Church and State.” Am I right? Did I not study my American History? Okay…I barely passed because I was engrossed in my music classes, but this little point I did understand as it was also driven home in Hebrew School. Double driven. Never mind the Lord’s Prayer is totally offensive to non-Christians. The father son and holy ghost in Economy government? Say what? Ghosts belong at Halloween parties, not in Borough Council meetings!

Okay, we Jews invite an invisible person named Eliahu to Passover Seder. And that’s a bit of a trick right there. Has he ever shown up? NO! Of course not! He’s too busy visiting other Seders. Someone else’s. Maybe he’s stuck in a chimney and can’t get out. After all, he ate so much matzah….. Maybe he shouldn’t eat for an entire month like Pooh Bear (did that chapter by Milne cause thousands of kids to develop eating disorders?) and then, someone can pop Eliahu out of the other family’s chimney and send him along to his next Seder.  By then, we’ll all be Next Year in Jerusalem. Or chasing Last Year’s Afikomen.

Lord’s Prayer? Huh? It doesn’t compute. And does not belong in Borough Council meetings. Still, a councilwoman whose name no one can spell insists that taking the Lord’s Prayer out of the meeting is worthy of a lawsuit against the Borough of Economy (and guess who pays for this expensive lawsuit. I am not sure). Very economic.

Now you know why our sidewalks here in Beaver County are a total mess, why unemployment has hit the roof, and why they can’t seem to manage the rat infestation all around the poorer areas. Corruption.

Or maybe it’s just time to have that fifth glass of wine, sit back, and laugh our fool heads off. I mean, who would name a place a name like Economy, anyway?

Turmeric and estrogen

The reason Turmeric is recommended to prevent breast cancer (and it was proven in a medical study!) is that it lowers estrogen! Raised estrogen (from HRT or “the pill”) puts a woman at risk for breast cancer! My friend told me turmeric “contains estrogen” but from all the research I can see, maybe my friend had the research mixed up. Turmeric is an anti-estrogen spice! This is good news for men who may need a testosterone boost if sexually harmed by psych drugs.

If women have raised estrogen, they, too, can notice lowered libido. If estrogen is too low, bone thinning can occur, but I highly doubt turmeric on its own can cause bone thinning. Does anyone know?

Please wear one of these to work and see how fast you get fired

Here is the link:


Here are the shirts:


Do you really want to BOAST about your past or present diagnosis? Yes, it’s okay to be sad, in fact, sad is not a disease, but let’s stop right there. I doubt you want to boast that you ever saw a therapist and took pills while you’re at work. I doubt you want to mention the word “stigma” unless you’re saying “There’s a stigma to working here at McDonald’s.” Or boast that you went to treatment, nor boast that it runs in the family.You might not keep your job very long! Even worse, tell them you used to take pills, and then, tell them you don’t really have a diagnosis. Unless you are particularly convincing, they’re likely to roll their eyes, pick up the phone, and call 911. After you get that mess straightened out, you are likely to discover you’re job hunting again.

Never mind that, this t-shirt company is a NAMI corporate sponsor. Catch my drift?

Is your dog spoiled, too! Check out this article on nagging!

Puzzle has started nagging me too much! I only want her nagging when she really has to go, or when she’s truly out of water or if there’s something burning on the stove. I don’t want her nagging me because she wants some more veggies while she only just got some five minutes ago. Nagging should serve a vital purpose and she shouldn’t do it for manipulation. This means I’ve been spoiling her just a little too much. Ooooops! Here is an article on nagging and how it developed. The article is in relation to “petting” but in Puzzle’s case, I’ve been giving her veggies out of the fridge every time she nags. Same diff.

How to stop your dog from pawing you all the time.

She doesn’t paw. She growls and wiggles her back end and makes a general nuisance of herself and won’t be satisfied with just one green bean. She demands another and another! Then, a piece of frozen bread, a few slices of carrot, some slices of green pepper. Oh, my spoiled doggie cannot get enough! She isn’t starving!  I’ve fed her her chicken dinner already! What to do?

According to the article, I should be patient and firm. No more. You are not getting anymore food. You are going to have to wait, I am not taking you out…you just went out five minutes ago……

I will keep you all posted on how it goes.

Except likely in a few days she may not nag anymore, but likely my dog will still run my life. That, my friends, is better than having psychiatry run your life. Pick your poison, I suppose.

New York Times article on suicide, and my commentary

Here is the article, which I suggest all readers read in full.


Now, I am a psychiatric survivor. Not that anyone particularly wants to hear the voices of psych survivors these days. In fact, there’s a move to keep our voices silenced. I believe this has been recently illustrated on MIA and elsewhere in an article on the silencing of a TED speaker, Julia Rutledge who spoke on nutrition  in a TED Talk. Later, she was flagged by none other than TED itself!

As a survivor, I am regularly called “dangerous.” I am regularly called delusional and paranoid. Readers here can judge for yourselves I suppose. I have been unfriended to the point of having no friends at all for a couple of years, way back when. However, more and more are joining our cause, so let’s just say I am alone in my quest no more!

Now for the New York Times article….I challenge immediately: Since when is SUICIDE a health crisis? Think on that one. While it does cause death, it is not a disease per se. It is not caused by disease, which the CDC validates. Suicide itself isn’t a disease. So why is it a health issue at all? How can it be an “epidemic” if it isn’t a disease? It may be socially contagious, but it’s not physically contagious via germs. I don’t think they’ve found an actual gene for suicide! While it may be socially passed in families, as it is among friends, they have yet to find a genetic cause for suicide, and I doubt they will. They are not going to find some “chemical imbalance” that causes it, either.

They have never found a chemical imbalance that causes depression, psychosis, nor mania. They used to think that low serotonin caused depression. This is simply not true. People with low, normal, or even high serotonin have depression. They used to think that high dopamine caused mania and caused psychosis. However, what they actually found was that people with high, normal, and low dopamine all had psychosis and mania. There was simply no correlation.

They also found that both dopamine antagonists, meaning drugs that block dopamine (such as Thorazine) and Reserpine, which does the opposite, can affect mania.  They never figured out why. They do know that drugs that block dopamine cause serious problems if taken long-term, no matter why you took the drugs, even if they were given off-label for back pain or for no reason at all. If you try to stop them, you won’t be able to sleep! Then, sadly, you might be convinced you have a chemical imbalance, but the truth is, you’ve become drug-dependent!

In my opinion, people commit suicide without telling anyone because they know damn well that if they did, they’d be incarcerated. To properly and effectively off oneself, one must not tell a soul. This is well-known nowadays. If you tell someone, you can expect a cop visit. If you post how you feel on Facebook, expect Facebook to send the police. If  you talk at school, expect to be kicked out. Expect to lose your job. See? Did Kate Spade want to be locked up? Sounds like Anthony Bourdain was smart enough to know. And you folks? If you’re planning suicide, you know enough to keep it to yourselves. And for your sake, I hope you are NEVER locked up!

I do not want to die in a hospital. I feel so, so strongly about this that I am hoping that if I am ever shot I hope I die before the ambulance gets to me. I hope if I am ever hit by a car I die instantly and not in a hospital. If I have a heart attack I don’t want to die while being touched by a nurse or doctor. I don’t want to die while feeling terrified of abuse.  If I ever do suicide, i don’t want my last minutes of life to be their attempt to revive me. Just let me die alone rather than be touched by medical personnel.

I hope, for you guys, that you are never, ever locked up again. It is abuse. If you choose suicide, it is your choice. I would never wish incarceration for anyone. It is worse than death for many of us, especially for those of us with a history.

Whoever wrote that article had no clue of this fear we feel.  If you were never abused in a hospital you likely wouldn’t mind, but once it happens to you, you cannot go back. No wonder.