Oops! Humpty Dumpty had a great fall…but we’re not eggs, are we?

I stopped by at the post office today and received two letter from Social Security. One of them verified that my Medicare Part B was successfully canceled. Not only that, but I am getting a refund.  They sent me a new Medicare card that only says Part A. It’s free, and I am keeping it around in case I get hit by a drunk driver, or shot. Yes, it would have to be that extreme.

Then, I went to the supermarket. I hate having to walk past a medical clinic to get there. Ick. Either way, sometimes I say to myself, “Nyah nyah” as I walk past.

While I was grocery shopping, I kept telling myself I was feeling a nosebleed coming on. I promised myself I’d better not get this nosebleed until after I left the supermarket. I had a nosebleed in the Giant Eagle in the North Side a couple of years ago. Ironically, it started as I was examining the carrots.

Today, I think I purchased about 40 to 45 pounds of groceries. This is not a big deal. Last time I went, the entire thing weighed 52 pounds. Just because I want to make my dog happy by feeding her dead animal parts.

We have this yucky new bus schedule that everyone hates. People are missing the bus and wondering why. I think after a while we’ll all get used to it…until they make more cuts.

I saw that the bus was already pulling into the parking lot, so I started to walk faster. Suddenly, this lady comes running toward me asking if I want HELP.

I really do fly into a panic hearing those words. There’s a fine line between help and harm. If I hear help, I assume the worst.

I called back to her that I did not need help, but if she could, could she please ask the driver to wait till I get there. I was about one  minute away from the bus. Or maybe 30 seconds. She continued to offer HELP.

I think the issue was that my eyes were on her, instead of on the sidewalk under me. Or, rather, all the sudden it was not under me! My foot just missed the curb. It was not a high curb at all, but still, I went flying down on the pavement. Uh oh!

I’m not sure if I hit my nose. I don’t see any scrape marks on it. Something was bleeding. Badly. And both of my knees.

So three people came running up to me. As expected, they wanted to HELP me up. Actually, that’s likely not the best thing to when a person might be injured. Once, over a decade ago, I fell while I was walking home from the gym and this guy tried to yank me up. I had to yell at him to get him to stop.

I told them I needed to take my time. I had to get my knapsack, which was chock full of groceries, off of my shoulders. I was sure my legs weren’t broken, even though I had hit both knees very hard. My top front tooth had slammed into my upper lip.

They say you should have a “stiff upper lip,” whatever the hell that means. Now, whether my lip is “stiff” or not, I sure do look like freak. I am not sure if my already chipped front teeth chipped a little more. No matter. It adds to the freak image. My new identity!

Two of the people helped by carrying my groceries to the bus. I don’t yet know if my organic eggs survived this. If they hadn’t been organic, definitely they wouldn’t have stood a chance. Someone also grabbed some paper towels from the sports store. I insisted, because I didn’t want any blood on the bus. Bodily fluids, after all. We get enough throw-up on there….

I was shaken, but not that badly. Enough to feel a little unsteady climbing up the steep bus stairs. I seem to have a piece of something, maybe sand, embedded in my lip.

It didn’t take long before my foot, or maybe my ankle, started to hurt. I’m referring to the foot that missed the curb. It was hurting kinda badly when I got off the bus at my stop. The bus driver and one of the passengers helped me take my stuff off the bus.

It was hard walking home.

I have taken off my shoe. I see that the outer ankle bone is a little bit swollen. Other than that, I don’t see any swelling, redness, or blue spots. I have it wrapped.

If it is sprained, seeing a doctor won’t actually do anything, since there’s nothing you can do about a sprain except let it heal. If it is indeed sprained, it’s not a bad sprain. I know what a sprain feels like.

If it is broken…well, I just canceled my health insurance, didn’t I? I wonder how much it costs to have a foot set. If it has to be done, I bet they offer a payment plan.

I’m sitting here with a teabag under my fat lip. That’s my mom’s home cure. You bet we kids sucked on a lot of teabags when we were little. Because we were kids. This is Tetley. My mom swore by Tetley.

Didn’t I say I was in for a nosebleed?

…I just went to empty my groceries. Yes, my foot hurts badly. To my amazement, my organic eggs survived the crash. I noticed my plastic container of Campari tomatoes had burst open. At least it wasn’t the box of blueberries! I have learned to put a rubber band around those boxes. If you have ever had a box of blueberries come crashing out of the fridge….Maybe your dog had a lot of fun! Mine did!

I gathered all the tomatoes, scattered around my duffel bag. Not one of them got squashed.

So…all will be fine.



7 thoughts on “Oops! Humpty Dumpty had a great fall…but we’re not eggs, are we?”

  1. I hope you are okay this morning…what a story! I was on the edge of my seat, hoping no HELP harmed you!

    1. Aw, thanks. I had to call the dreaded 911 last night. Unable to walk to the bathroom. I figured my naturopath says Western med is good for two things: Setting bones and removing bullets. The EMT’s were very kind to me. After all, I’m not an MP anymore. I did not stay in the ER long. Xrays determined I have a broken fibula, way down at my ankle. I have been fitted with a cast and crutches. For whatever reason, the cast provides enough protection so that I got a couple of hours of sleep after all that was over with. Oh….look at all the stuff I got to write about!

  2. My mother who is elderly still goes to the grocery store to pick the food she wants, but she does not bring it back home herself. When she finishes paying for the food at the cash, the store then delivers the food to her apartment. Her only worry is getting home quicker than the delivery person, so she can take the food it before it warms too much.

    I suggest you find a store that delivers what you have purchased to your door.

    1. We do have grocery delivery here. I can’t leave the house right now and am putting in my order today. It is called Instacart. It is very expensive but it’ll have to do. I can hardly wait to do real grocery shopping again. I do plan to carry it home. I can hardly wait till this injury heals!

Feedback and comments welcome!