You may have seen their YouTubes and rants over the “narcissist” in their lives. You may have heard their warnings about staying away from “narcs.” They act like “narcs” are the Devil. Do you see some inconsistency in this the way I do?
I believe the real fear is not narcs, but their own questioning of their own sanity. I had a friend who decided I was BPD. Oddly, I really do not have the traits and I wondered why she was so insistent (behind my back). Then I realized the real truth. She had a lot of BPD traits herself. I think she feared that she had it.
Paula Joan Caplan is right. Read They Say You’re Crazy. The one thing people fear most is that they are not normal. I think the anti-narc community is so scared of their own narcissism (everyone has a little bit of it) that they damn a whole population…but it’s really projecting.
According to the anti-narc community, there are these Very Evil People called narcissists. They are so evil that you can even catch narcissism from them if you hang out with them too long.
This is what happens. You decide someone is a narc. Then, you tell other people and it gets spread around. This isn’t helping, you know. Social othering is just plain wrong. Even if you have decided that person is an Evil Narc.
Actually, it is eugenics, when you think about it. Some people are just plain inferior. That is the core of eugenics.
Now take my ex-therapist, Maria Mellano. She acted narc a lot, but I do not call her a narcissist because I do not use such labels. Actually, I don’t know why she bossed me around, threatened, acted manipulative and controlling. I don’t know what went on in her life that caused that.
Maybe she was being threatened. Maybe her husband beat her. I don’t know, and I don’t want to know. I don’t think she had any excuse for abuse. I don’t think a person should be excused. But if that was what was happening, it would all kinda make sense, no? Maybe she was being threatened professionally. Who knows!
People are not all good or all bad. This is totally overlooked in the anti-narc community. They see narcs as the Evil of the World. Truth is, though, no one person is Evil, and no one person is perfect or all good. Life doesn’t work that way. I’d say the anti-narc community is guilty of extreme “splitting.” People are people!
If you do not like someone, own that feeling. Not getting along with another person isn’t a personal failure. We don’t really know why some people get along and others do not. Leave it at that and don’t excuse your extreme dislike for a person on that person’s imaginary mental illness! Own your dislike, own your discomfort, and move on. Let’s keep eugenics out of the picture and realize that we’re all human, we’re all okay, and there isn’t a set group of people that are poisonous.
If you insist that some are evil or inferior, then maybe it’s time you looked at yourself, eh?