I am so fed up with Fat Lib. I know a lot of people who are suffering due to being overweight. They have bad knees because their knees cannot support their weight. They have back problems and many end up using canes. I know elders who die younger than they should due to being overweight. Some have breathing problems. I think it is demeaning to anyone at any weight to demand that they love their bodies and to blame all their suffering on some kind of perceived low self-esteem related to weight. This is bullshit.
I know a lot of elders who are truly suffering and a lot of it is due to their weight. I am not talking about low self-esteem, which is likely the least of their worries. They can’t work due to medical issues and end up on disability. Their hearts weaken. They can’t breathe and they huff and puff.
I remember being overweight and I ended up crippled because of it. My knees gave out and I was unable to walk for three months. I was a shut-in all that time. I really did huff and puff. I sure couldn’t run. I remember knowing my weight was the problem, and my feelings of body-hatred had nothing to do with hating myself, but hating my situation and wondering how I ended up that way. I was so afraid I would just keep gaining and end up even more mobility-impaired than I already was. I’m very lucky that all that did not last that long, when I put it all in perspective. Yes, it was hell and I hated it.
I don’t think Fat Lib does most overweight people any favors by lecturing them to fucking love their bodies when really for many of them, life truly sucks in a way that no one can imagine if you have ever been there. Why shouldn’t we show some compassion instead of the high-fallutin’ “love thyself”? That is shit.
“Love thyself” is one of those idiotic pat answers that therapists give all the time. It is so simplistic. Imagine: You show up and tell that idiot in the big lounge chair who is supposed to help you that you have a rotten landlord or your husband is beating you or you have rats in your home, and all that idiot has to say is some irrelevant slogan like “Love yourself” or “one day at a time.” Oh c’mon, they have no clue and you’ve just paid them $150 for that.
How about some practical answers from those idiots? I remember my therapist would just say that shit all the time, “One day at a time” and just shrugged at me whenever I asked her why I had suddenly gained all that weight. I am pissed. She could have confronted the psychiatrist who was pushing 900mgs of Seroquel a day into me. She didn’t. Of course not.
I had to do it myself. I remember I could not walk without a walker. I hobbled into Dr. Pearson’s office and told her NO MORE.
This is help at its core. In other words, the only help you can really trust is help you do for yourself. You really have to tackle these problems head-on and not let others give you a bunch of euphemistic, know-it-all answers. Or just ignore them when they say that. walk away and do whatever you want.
Take your life back! Why waste it? Life keeps going forward and will not go backwards. You won’t get these years back. You cannot undo anything, either. Don’t spend another minute allowing others to run your life. Take charge. Live.