Why I am sometimes perceived as “negative” even though I am not

In the past I have been perceived as “negative.” I hated being called that, since I don’t see myself as a pessimistic person. I’m not certain there’s such thing as a pessimist and optimist. Look closely at these labels. They are black-and-white, all-or-nothing, and also, sweeping generalizations. I don’t think anyone is all negative or all positive, or all hopeful, or all hopeless.

My aim is to be realistic. I hope to face the facts instead of sugar-coating them. This might mean telling bad news on occasion. I don’t think that’s “negative.”

What am I supposed to say? “A guy died. Yay!” Or, perhaps, “A guy died but all’s just fine and dandy.” Another option is to completely leave out the bad news and only tell glowing, happy stories.

A lot of people do this. We are taught to censor out bad news, like it’s a swear word that cannot be said in public. This is exactly the principle behind drug coverup, malpractice, rape, corruption, etc. Why? Because the perps of all these atrocities are hoping you are afraid to talk about what really happened.

I don’t want to be called “negative,” since it implies that I might be unpleasant. I fear people might avoid me and I might end up isolated again.

But think about it: This is an example of how peer pressure silences people who are telling the truth.

Sometimes, I discourage people from doing certain things since it would break my heart to see a person waste time and energy on a project that ends up in a dead end. I have been through dead-end projects countless times and have lost huge chunks of my life that way.

Here’s an example. Say a person who is on disability, receiving under $10,000 a year, who doesn’t have a driver’s license, tells me they want to move to LA. I can say, “Sure, great!” Is that helpful?

Now, the person starts to research LA, starts to call apartments (off Craigslist) and spends money on preparations for moving. Say the person finds an apartment for 600.

Now what? Should I say anything? 600 is high rent for  a person who receives under $10,000. It would break my heart if they gave up their current apartment, flew to LA, and then, discovered they were not accepted at this apartment because they couldn’t prove they made nearly enough to pay the rent.

What now?

Looking back, there were a few things I did in my life that I wish I had been warned about. One was “online college.” While online education is okay, paying college tuition prices for it isn’t okay. The reason is that the quality of education is very poor compared to classroom learning. Even “accredited” universities are now offering 100% online programs. These programs aren’t worth the future debt you incur.

You can get excellent quality classroom learning at an adult education center, with instructors who are just as good or better, and you don’t pay an arm and a leg. You can even get a low income discount at many adult ed centers.  A lot of the instructors are college teachers, too!

I ended up being suckered into online school at SNHU, which is only one of the many ripoff programs out there. I have no clue how they got great reviews (unless they pay people to do that, highly possible).

I wish someone had talked me out of it before I signed up. I would have liked to have read a realistic, honest review of the program. Sadly, I signed up too quickly and later was very sorry.

What about you? Do you want to be warned about pitfalls, or do you want to fall flat on your face multiple times?

I don’t know if you guys realize how exhausting it is to make these mistakes. I only want to spare people the discouragement and disillusionment.

Remember when I signed the contract with Chipmunka? Another error. What if I told you guys Chipmunka was great and left out the ugly part? What if I encouraged people to use them as a publisher? That, in fact, would be cruelty disguised as optimism.

I refuse to bend to peer pressure to be “positive” to the point of dishonesty. I tell it like it is. Of course, if anyone doesn’t like that, you can just x out your browser tab.

Feedback and comments welcome!