CBD Oil: Overpriced, deceptively marketed placebo

Dear Readers, Please do not buy into the hype over CBD oil. I have read the advertising and consulted with many people. First of all, any ad that says, “Get it here, legally…” is bullshit. You can buy it anywhere legally. You don’t need a special website or company to provide a “legal” means to buy it. I believe many health food stores carry it also.

It will not do anything for you, that I know of. Most essential oils are insanely overpriced and don’t heal nor provide pain relief. They are good for candlemaking and for cosmetic uses only.  I see no evidence that lavender oil helps anyone sleep. (It actually stinks so badly it keeps me awake!)

I tried some, and by the way you can buy this stuff on Amazon, a number of brands. I tried various ways of infusing it and no magic happened. I put it under my nose and all I had was a stinky nose. I even tried taking it internally and it didn’t help me sleep one bit. It contains none of the active ingredients (the helpful ones) in real cannibis.

I think the real stuff will be legal in all 50 states eventually. Even for non-medicinal use. States are realizing they can have vendors sell it commercially and then, tax the hell out of it. So this is the incentive, that is, money.

Cannibis will help with various ailments. It has been proven in studies. It’s been long known that cancer patients benefit. Yes, it can be abused, but so can other legal substances including stuff out of an aerosol can. Many prescribed drugs are so addictive that it takes a mere few weeks to become hooked.

It’s not a solid argument to say “Pot is okay because other things are worse…” which many will argue. Still, I think it’s insane to make a plant that is essentially a weed illegal.

Many common weeds have medicinal properties. Dandelion leaf is well-studied and likely one of the most helpful herbs for some people with kidney disease. I am finding it immensely helpful. It doesn’t seem to drain potassium the way some prescription drugs will do. Not only that, it doesn’t make me pee any more than I usually do, but it does relieve (and prevent!) fluid and other buildup caused by kidney disease.

What if they outlawed all medicinal plants, or tried to make them prescription only? I think only the medical doctors and institutions would benefit, and the pharma companies that alter these substances to supposedly “patent” them. I don’t think an individual’s power to choose should be taken over by doctors and pharma companies. It should remain the choice of all people.

Do you really have to jump through hoops to change your psych record?

Changing your Record

This article, by David Healy, describes the harms of psychiatric diagnosis.  I have been saying the exact same thing for years in regards to your records being like a criminal record, except if Healy (he is a doctor) says it, more people will take the issue seriously than if a two-bit blogger like me says it.

Do you really have to get some hotshot to write to the government to get your diagnosis removed? Do you need a lawyer? Where will you find these influential people?

Getting your diagnosis off your record, first of all, won’t do you a bit of good unless you walk the walk and act undiagnosed.

I know a few people who want to rid themselves of their diagnoses but continue to act in a way that others will see them as nuts. There is a difference between making mistakes now and then and refusing to take responsibility for one’s actions.

Secondly, what good will going through legal hoops to get a diagnosis taken off if where you live you are seen as nuts? Society will not change so easily. What are going to do? Walk around town and tell everyone, “I’m not schiz anymore”?

Let me tell you what it is like to be seen as mentally ill in your community, and maybe that will clarify….

Your neighbors have seen the cops at your door countless times. They have seen you hauled off on a stretcher. They have seen you at the pharmacy line twice a week for years, seen you leave with large bags of pills, or saw the local pharmacy deliver to your door. You live in public housing for the elderly but you are clearly not elderly and not visibly handicapped. You disappeared now and then for a week or two at a time and obviously weren’t on vacation. Eventually someone figured it out. At your job, you have taken unexplained “leaves of absence” and eventually you were “called in” and then never came back. You appear sick. You twitch or pace. You gained weight rapidly with no explanation. Your skin is red with drug-induced sunburn. You seem to have an awful lot of unexplained medical problems.

You don’t seem to have a job as far as anyone knows. Where is the money coming from? Why do you leave the house from 9-3 and hang out with other people who pace and twitch? Why do shake? What is that “group” you keep talking about?

People will not find out about your learned dependency until they get to know you, but that one is also quite telling.

Ten years like that and people around you will know.  This is more true in a small town than it is in the larger urban areas, but it can happen anywhere.

Diagnosis goes beyond what is written in your records. Reputation very well might influence your fate far more than a medical record.

It is very difficult to stop the habits we learned while we were patients, but these things must be done to end that reputation. Many of us have relocated, which solves a lot of the problem. Still others aren’t in that position. Many of us have been forced to lie about our past or fudge our resumes.

As one commenter stated (if you read the comments at Healy’s blog, but here I will rephrase) the longer you continue to act responsible, the further away you move from your ugly past, the better off you are.

For me, the diagnosis is sitting there back where I used to live, but no one I come into contact with currently accesses it due to HIPAA protection. I pass a criminal background check. I have had these done numerous times and there’s never been any question.

People ask me about “lists” they may be on.  You can actually check to see if you are on the Brady Bill list. The list contains people with certain criminal histories, but does not include all mental patients, only some that were court-ordered under certain sections. Even if you were hospitalized or on drugs you may not be on it. This list is only used in regards to firearms (and who the heck wants one, anyway?).

There is a healthcare worker list. If you committed a healthcare-related crime, like stealing drugs while you worked at a nursing home, or beating a patient, you might be on that list. (Don’t you think a lot of the “staff” and docs we met in the System should be on that list?) I am not on it as I had to be screened for a volunteer job. I passed.

People have also worried about insurance companies. Many of us can remedy this by switching insurance if we are able, but some companies are demanding that you pass your records from the old insurer to them. Not all insurers insist on this. I think the cost to track down records may be prohibitive, and this is another little way HIPAA still protects us. If they don’t know it’s there, why would they go looking for it?

If you don’t pay taxes you don’t have to state you are insured on your tax form. Also, from what I have read, the government doesn’t demand “proof” of insurance (this being too expensive to track everyone down). You can also pay and “uninsured” penalty, which I suspect in some instances very well may be cheaper than paying out of pocket for some “plan.”

You may be insured or on Medicaid or Medicare. Since when do you have to use your insurance? There’s no law that says everyone has to have a PCP, nor any law that says you have to be “checked” by a physician. Many jobs require it, though.

Do you know how easy it is to pass the depression screening? Do you know how easy it is to not check the checkboxes that say, “Mental illness” on a medical form?

Still, I cannot believe how naive people are. They keep checking those boxes. People don’t realize this is voluntary. Don’t check the box! Don’t mention past drugs you have been on and don’t say you ever went to a mental health clinic.

Somehow, all this is so much easier than going through legal hoops, thus exposing yourself further. But…that is my experience.

Names of welfare cheats made public, shock docs are protected

I am amazed that news outlets are publicizing the names of people who cheat the welfare system.  Apparently if the amount taken goes over $500 you are not only considered a criminal, but you get publicly embarrassed also.

Meanwhile, our courts vehemently protect white collar criminals whose negligence, abuse, and licensing violations have led to maiming patients or patient deaths. Shock docs and the institutions that back shock have wrecked countless lives. Drug-pushing docs have also ruined lives.

When we hear about a shock-induced death or suicide, is the name of the doc and institution published? When irresponsible drugging leads to suicide (especially when drugs were taken as “prescribed”), I am surprised (but not so surprised) that the prescribing doc’s name is rarely mentioned and these docs aren’t even charged.

Why aren’t these crooks publicly embarrassed? I don’t understand why the media repeatedly publishes stories of relatively petty criminals while the real criminals still get to keep their jobs and godlike reputations.

People who kill cops are seen a subhuman Devils in the media, but docs who kill known mental patients are excused.

If a cop kills a known MP, he may or may not be charged, but often is. Cops use guns and clubs. Docs and institutions that regular pick off MP’s like they’re unwanted flies, using shock, drugging, or irreparably traumatizing patients, end up walking, and are rarely even mentioned in the media.

So many institutions hide behind HIPAA. An example is the “rehab” that killed Robin Williams by giving him Seroquel (this later got gagged, I believe). You cannot give that drug to a person with Lewy Body. Yet the rehab got away with hiding it claiming HIPAA prevented them from leaking out what they had done.

HIPAA often protects criminals, have you noticed this? And yet, HIPAA is rarely followed if an MP is involved. Or, shall I say, it’s followed only if the institution will benefit and has nothing to do with “protecting patients.”

As for cheating welfare, I am not alone as a person who was coerced into believing I was disabled when I wasn’t. I want to make this publicly known and try to gather others who were likewise affected. I am thinking that the best way to do this is to contact a politician who might be working on related agenda.

I have tried drawing parallels with those who were falsely diagnosed with epilepsy and either never had it, or their seizure condition was transient and mislabeled as permanent. In my research I ran into snags and didn’t progress with this, but I have read that misdiagnosis is common, especially misdiagnosis of juveniles. The snag was that it was all diverging me too far astray from the real issue of psych diagnosis.

In my case, it wasn’t me that cheated, but the docs who falsely and irresponsibly called me disabled.

I couldn’t “prove” it till I actually got a job.  Now, however, I have enough proof that psych was dead wrong in their disability determination. This leads me to conclude that these docs cheated the welfare system, turning me into a permanent patient for their own benefit, or using the “disabled” label as justification to overdrug or push for “higher level of care” when it wasn’t needed (often I needed less “care”!).

Most of the time when I try to point this out to other people who are unfamiliar with the System, they dismiss my claims and say, “There must have been something wrong with you.” Yes, this type of remark is offensive to say the least, burning my activist ears.  Do they think I might have been mentally inferior? Deranged? Unworthy? Just another nutcase? If I can prevent the person from just walking away and shutting down the conversation, I explain that the treatment itself affected my ability to function in society.

I am pointing this out in hopes that others can relate to my story. Those of you who know your situation is similar, please speak up or contact me privately (I have a Contact Me page here on my blog if you wish to use it).

They left because they didn’t want to be forced

Here is my comment on an article in the Washington Post. The link to the article follows.

I am a person who deliberately disappeared. I didn’t do it because of any “mental illness.” I did it because I was stuck with a psych diagnosis I didn’t want anymore. I hated being treated badly in my community because people were afraid of me. What I saw of the “treatment” of supposed “mental illness” shocked me.

I can see why people just leave. Many others I knew were subject to lockup and threats of being detained for life.

I stopped the ridiculous cocktail of drugs that were harming me. I left telling no one. I have moved seven times since.

I was on disability unnecessarily for decades, and that is sad waste of my life that embarrasses me to this day. It took a lot of effort to find a job with no work history, but I persisted. I am now employed full-time, at a job that pays me well. Eventually, I told a family member where I was. He is delighted to see that I am healthy now, free of psychiatry, free of any mental health diagnosis, and happier than I have been in decades.

Dear families, your loved ones very well may not want you to find them because they do not want to be subjected to psychiatry again. Many say mental institutions are worse than prison.

I can see why people just plain disappear. I wish this article told some of the other side, too, of people who started life over and succeeded.

Do you guys read into this as I do? NAMI Mommies, right? Can you blame their kids for leaving? Can you blame their kids for seeing their families as the enemy?

Since when does “altruism” exclusively refer to charitable donations

Check out this interesting article:


I don’t understand this limited view of altruism. While anyone can adopt that world view, only a handful of human beings on this planet can afford to donate to charities in any significant amount.  Some are making so little, or nothing at all, that by all means they can’t spare 10%, or 5%, or even 1% of their income to donate to charity.

According to what I have read about this movement, most members work in high-paying positions. I would imagine this means white, well-to-do males mostly, since women and blacks make less, statistically.

I used to donate to charity regularly until I realized that doing so was way beyond my means, and contributing to my growing debt. I have been in debt since 2010, credit card debt, that is, and now, eight years later, I am finally making headway. It all peaked when my cards were all maxed out and I still couldn’t scrape up rent money. That must have lasted a couple of years. I’m still alive. I concentrate much energy on paying off debt. When I get paid it all goes to credit cards, rent, and things like the electric bill.

Does this mean I’m excluded from altruism? What do you think I am doing now? I am not being paid to type these words. My own way of helping others doesn’t cost a cent. I write.

I have felt for a long time that it’s my duty to help steer people away from psychiatry, to warn others of the pitfalls, and mostly, to tell my story to give others an idea of what it is like if you fall for it.

I also see it as a duty to say something when I see something. To speak up when I see something I know is wrong, such as the types of things I saw on the wards. To befriend people who are lonely, that too. I do these things as best as I can, not perfectly, but to work hard and remain persistent.

Leave charitable donations for the rich.  In fact when others boast about their charitable donations, I am not impressed. It is only a status symbol. There are ways to help the world without money. That is, we can start now, in ways I have mentioned before:

Live well.  In fact, this is likely the singlemost “good” thing you can do. Set a good example. Reach out to others. Love thy neighbor.

Being a decent human being shouldn’t require any use of a formula. And it doesn’t.


So you say you have a chronic illness?

In this post I am outlining some basic tips and pointers for people who have been determined (or self-determined) that they have a chronic illness. If anything here is not applicable to your situation, just toss it out and keep the rest.

Please note the way I word this. Been determined to have….

My personal observation is that most chronic illness sufferers (again, note the word “sufferers” here) have one thing in common. They call themselves sick, or perhaps ill.  They use illness words to describe their condition.

I think people should consider this seriously. People become what they call themselves. This is a known tendency called the looping effect.

I would like to suggest that the first step you take is to eliminate illness language when describing your life circumstances. By refraining from using this language, you are essentially re-storying who you are.

Try this: Instead of, “I have a chronic, debilitating condition called Lyme Disease.” How about….”I am slowly recovering from the consequences of a tick bite.” Just try it!

I used to say, “I have chronic, debilitating insomnia and I feel too sleepy during the day to get anything done.” But saying that reinforces the “chronic.” I am working on saying, “I found out the cause of the insomnia. It was from drugs. Now that I know, and have taken steps to remedy the situation, I am slowly regaining my ability to sleep.”

(If you want an update….After reinstating with street drugs, I was able to taper to a crumb-size piece of a pill. I have managed to stop the crumb. I can fall asleep at night now independently, but I can only sustain sleep for 4 hours or so. I use nutritional substances to help me sleep for the remainder of the night. Progress!)

I used to say, “I have kidney disease and there’s no cure for it. Kidneys do not repair.” Do you see the hopelessness and stuckness in this statement?

While doctors claim kidney disease is a path that leads straight to death, I do not see it that way anymore. I changed the way I view it. Now I say, “My kidneys were damaged by lithium, so I choose to refrain from eating salt. I choose to be vigilant and self-monitor so that I can keep my body in balance. I choose to vigorously research alternatives to dialysis, and apply these methods as needed. I choose to refuse dialysis, hospitalization, unnecessary medical monitoring, and any other harmful procedure. I choose to live a full and active life. I choose not to use kidney disease as an excuse for limiting my activity or shirking from life responsibility.”

I get so frustrated when I hear others calling themselves sick. I get even more frustrated when they go from doctor to doctor, clinic to clinic, thinking they’ll eventually find “the right one.” Invariably they tell me how much they are suffering and how badly they want that one doctor that will have all the answers.

Do you want to spend the rest of your life going to appointments (which someone pays for, by the way), or do you want to live?

Doctors aren’t saviors. Try to think of them as hired people. If you ever go to them, realize you hired them for a specific task, and know what that task is. Know this when you make the appointment and specify your request to the doctor. Stay focused on it until the specific, realistically-outlined task is completed. Then, you don’t need the doctor anymore. Stay in control instead of letting them make your decisions for you.

Someone suggested to me that I go to a dentist. I am so afraid to because my time is precious. I know people who go to one, and then, go and go and go. I have known people who had appointments three times a week at the dentist. I don’t want to waste my life this way. Life, once spent, can’t be taken back. Once you waste your time, you can’t buy it back or bargain for it back.

I choose to spend my time doing activism, working my job, writing, and taking care of myself, all useful activities. I choose not to idle, nor feed into the medical profession’s pocket.

Somehow, this philosophy works wonders for me. I consider myself healthy and strong, fully employed, and socially active.

Maybe try it out for yourself!

Paragraph added to Forced Psychiatry Anthology site

People have approached me and said they were not forced, so they feel that they aren’t qualified to write for the anthology. To clarify, I added the following paragraph to the site:

“While the term “forced psychiatry” brings to mind court-ordered drugging, society often overlooks the obvious. Forced psychiatry also refers to “hospitalization” on a locked unit, where no one is truly “voluntary” (even though some initially believe they are) or being forcibly taken from one’s home. Another form of force is when clinicians threaten or bribe their patients into complying.”

Here is the anthology site:


Please share with your networks or listservs, and on social media.

Debt relief article

I just found this.


What method do you use to pay off debt? Do you have a method?

Here’s mine. The notebook method. I write down in a notebook what I need to pay, and then, determine who gets what. Then, I pay it. I pay almost all the money that comes in onto the cards. Then I use the credit cards to spend money. And I don’t spend a lot. I just do without.

In desperate times, if you have credit card you can borrow off of cheaply, use that to pay the other one. I have heard of not-so-Kosher tricks people do, such as buying gift cards with the credit card (go to a very busy supermarket to do this) and then, liquidating the gift cards just to get cash. Then put that in  the bank and use it to pay off debt. That is one way to borrow from Peter to pay Paul. I think I did that once.

For me, if I have a choice I drain my checking account completely within a day of getting paid, so it looks like I’ve paid more (i.e. looks like less debt) and then live I off of credit cards. I leave a tiny amount in the checking account and use that for bus money.

How many credit cards should you have? That depends on your organizational skills. The more you have the more you have to keep track of. Some people can’t. I chose to get many because doing so raises my credit ceiling. If you owe $4,000, and your credit limit is $8,000, you only have 50% credit card usage. If you owe $4,000 and your limit is $4,500, the banks aren’t going to be too happy with you. Don’t close the cards even if you aren’t using them, because if you do you have less “available credit.” Rotate them to keep the banks happy (some charge a no use fee) and keep all the bills as low as possible. Just buy a cup of coffee with the high interest one, then, pay that off 100% and you look very good doing so. And always, always, always pay well before the due date. You never know when a payment will be delayed and that will seriously muck things up.

That, in a nutshell, is how I raised my credit score from the 500’s to around 650 in two years.

On the bus

The guy in front of me has such terrible akathesia that he is rocking in his seat. The rocking is so violent that the seat makes a banging noise. Yes it is annoying! Of course he can’t help it. He is imprisoned by the drugs. I wish I could tell him that the drugs cause this. He may not know.

When I was in my late 20s I rocked just like that. They said it was a symptom. One doctor mimicked me, deliberately poking fun at me. When I told him it pissed me off, he told me I had anger issues.

Psychiatry. In a nutshell.