I just got another scammy-looking mailing from Kelly Brogan inviting people to a “free webinar” on how to get energy vampires out of your life. I’d like to discourage people from believing that nonsense. If you want to learn about REAL energy vampires, go to your local electric company’s website and look up “energy theft” or some other similar term. My own local electricity company, Duquesne Light, which serves a number of states, has a page on energy theft:
When I first mentioned this on Facebook, because it really happened to me in Uruguay, guess what happened? I was called psychotic and paranoid! I was accused of paranoia by ignorant people who had no clue this was possible. It is! It depends on the neighborhood and the setup of the wiring because in some neighborhoods it is easier than in others. I imagine it is done in condos all the time! I suspect it happened to my elderly mom and no one checked it out properly. She kept her thermostat at 60 and still was paying 700 dollars a month to heat her condo. Doesn’t that sound like several condos to you? Big ones? Maybe she was heating their saunas, too…..
Anyway, THAT is an energy vampire. Any utility can be stolen and people have gotten very sophisticated about doing it, including making cell phone “apps” to steal bandwidth. Again, when this happened to me around 2015 I was accused of paranoia. Yet a couple of years later, in the news, finally, we are finding out about these schemes and people are being told how to safeguard against it. No, I wasn’t paranoid. I am really sick of being accused of this over and over when in fact, I was reporting something correctly.
Are there real energy vampires, friends that “zap” your energy? No. This is my theory about that. First of all, you aren’t a battery. You aren’t an energy storage vault, unless we’re talking about calories, but is Brogan talking about bad friends that steal CALORIES? Nope. It’s fuzzy-wuzzy “energy.” Non-energy. Not anything really scientific.
She’s actually talking about friends that waste your time. And whose choice is that? Think on that one.
Unless force is a factor, such as being cornered in a marriage where it is very hard to walk away, or in an abusive therapy relationship where the therapist holds threats over your head, or when you are literally locked up, and other force-based relationships, you CAN walk away.
If you’re on the phone, you can hang up. Only people do not realize this. It is very easy to hang up. Nowadays you can even fake a bad connection or dead battery. Or just click it off. You are not “sucked into” the telephone. This is not actually happening. Excuse yourself and hang up.
Once I had a friendly conversation with someone and then, later, she blamed me for “keeping her on the phone” for too long the next day. However, I look back and ask myself…..Did I chain her to the phone? No! We were sharing our experiences and were discussing similarities. I didn’t demand anything and was enjoying the conversation (which I assumed was mutual) so I didn’t understand the accusation. I asked myself why she hadn’t just gotten off the phone if that was what she had wanted. I did not feel at all responsible for this and I knew she had made the choice to stay on.
If you aren’t happy with a relationship, and find that being with or talking to the other person is wasting your time, then the fact that you continue to waste your time with this person is YOUR CHOICE. The person is likely totally clueless about how you feel. The longer you continue to sustain a relationship where you feel it’s a waste, the longer you will be totally convinced the relationship is toxic. Toxic is nothing but a word we use. But I challenge this….If you are wasting your time, then why do you not just end it now instead of dragging this out for months and then, accusing the person of being an energy vampire because you don’t want to admit your own mistakes? Really, you are projecting your own bad choices and failure to properly communicate on another person who cannot read your mind. Why not do the responsible and honest thing?
I am guilty of this, especially way back years ago when I was a “patient” and had many patient friends I had nothing in common with. I let these relationships drag on and on, and that was not their fault, but mine. Luckily, most did not end awkwardly because I was able to slip away citing scheduling differences or one of us moved or got locked up. We didn’t have the Internet to keep track of each other, so it was pretty easy to get oneself lost if one needed to. There were times I’d meet people I just never really wanted to see again.
You have that choice. You do not have to be buddies with everyone. This is a tough concept for me and for many people but you do not have to like everyone. Respect them somehow, yes, which sometimes can be tough, but like them? No, there’s no legal nor even moral obligation there.