Excuses

Excuses for Bad Behavior

We learn very bad habits in the System. One of these bad habits is behaving badly and thinking we’re entitled to do so. We’re excused. Off the hook. We can’t be expected to act responsibly, so we don’t.

This is incorrect, a fallacy that sadly, the System is very good at teaching people. It is a tough habit to break. We think it’s okay to fuck up but really, we’re not above our debts, we’re not beyond apology, either.

I was shocked when I first witnessed such excuse-making. I am not going to go into detail here. I was young and naive. I saw someone break the law, then, turn to me and say, “It’s okay, I had a rotten childhood.” When she was caught, that is, nailed for what she did, she burst into tears and told the police she couldn’t help herself; she was a patient, after all…. Apparently this, she claimed, and her terrible childhood excused her totally. She was never fined.

I have seen bad behavior, people being rude, the kind of thing you see on the wards. I suppose folks forget…We aren’t there anymore, right? But the System has drilled it so deeply into our heads. It’s okay to act out. Okay to cry, scream, throw things. Why?

In therapy, they actually encouraged that kind of thing. They cheered us on when we cried. Even hitting got excused. That was “getting your anger out,” seen as a positive and healing action.. Didn’t anyone know that if you do that outside the ghetto you’ll get fired, kicked out, or dragged back to the nuthouse?

What about carrying a stuffed animal around with you? Okay if you’re two years old, cute, in fact. Both my baby brothers did that and so did all the other toddlers. I feel sad when I see stuffed animal on the bus, and I see that a lot, sadly. I watch them and then I sigh…More therapy addicts. I was just like that when I was about 30, sadly.

I am surprised at how many adults act out, throwing their cell phones against the wall or having a “fit.” I ask myself where on Earth they learned that?

Another lousy excuse I hear fully grown adults making is, “But I was drunk then.” I ask who drank. Didn’t the person lift the drink to his lips? There is no alcohol god that sweeps down and dribbles booze down our throats. But they continue to blame “my addiction.” As if the addiction were a separate entity, outside of them, and they, of course, are faultless.

Feedback and comments welcome!