I figured out what really happened. NEDA/BEDA knows I’m “recovered” and the real reason has nothing to do with “not recovered.” Actually they have no way of knowing if I am recovered or not. The issue is not related to recovery. The issue has to do with what happened back around 2012 on.
It was a sorry case of neglect and NEDA/MEDA was involved. I tried very very hard to get help. I tried FOUR TIMES to get into a MEDA group and actually paid $85 twice for an “assessment” which was totally USELESS. It did nothing for me, didn’t get me anything, didn’t even get me their “support.” I think it added my data to their database and got them money. I had a therapist for a while, then, had Maria, but then, didn’t have one.
They had no one on their list AT THE TIME who took Medicare AND Medicaid. You get shit for healthcare in Massachusetts if you have both, by the way. I called and called, even tried LYING and saying I didn’t have Medicaid. I even tried private practice and asked about sliding scale but the sliding didn’t go low enough. I couldn’t find anyone. Yes, this is common, even in Boston. Very few therapists are willing to take on eating disorders patients. Why? it’s a complex problem and therapy rarely helps ED patients anyway.
I asked MEDA if at least I could be in a group. They refused (but AGAIN charged me for an assessment). It was ridiculous. I was then, suddenly, invited to a “group for older women.” I don’t know why they wanted me there because I didn’t get along with one member who was very pro-lockup. She refused to see it as a human rights violation. She complained to the group leader about me.Next thing you knew, I was kicked out of group for some lame excuse. I kept trying and trying to find a therapist. All this got recorded in my blog. I didn’t betray the confidentiality of the group members. I know enough not to do that. But…I did say that MEDA doesn’t serve low-income folks.
When I was truly starving I called and called. They never called back and a few times, literally hung up on me. After i was hospitalized and abused there, they again hung up on me mid-sentence.
It was a sorry case of societal neglect.
I know now, or am pretty sure, that MEDA was SCARED of my blogging, scared that I would blow the whistle further on them. After all, I have the right to my Freedom of Speech and they didn’t like that too much. It’s odd that other patients do not exercise their Freedom of Speech…mostly due to fear of “getting in trouble…” but these are vague fears, often stemming from childhood or school days (in my opinion).
I guess I’m just different that way. I had really good parents who let me express myself, artistically and creatively, and allowed me to voice an opinion. My mom encouraged us to write Letters to the Editor even. My parents taught me Resilience, which I believe is why I am alive and writing these words.
I’m not all that bummed out anymore that NEDA/ BEDA uninvited me. I’m okay with it. They’re a horribly corrupt organization. They’;re dishonest and they don’t exist to HELP anyone. They exist to funnel money into the ED treatment centers which are a huge profit-making venture. I don’t want to support them by speaking at their conference nor would I be proud to have that on my resume.
I am proud to have weathered this and I’m proud that I’m a whistleblower. I’m proud that I stand by what I say. I’m proud that I’m alive and I’m proud that I got better in spite of everything, all the crap that happened.
I would wish the same resilience for anyone out there. God bless.