I never told anyone

It would be pointless now. I never told anyone. The word for it would be narcissistic, but that does not matter now. It’s over now. I walked away and never went back.

I never understood how the other kids could just tell her off but I couldn’t get myself to do that. My words came out wrong. I’d say the things I didn’t quite mean. I wished I could just say what I meant like the other kids did. They’d say stuff plainly. I couldn’t.

One girl was headed off to Smith College. Kate said some pretty insulting stuff to her, I recall. I can’t recall what the insult was. Well Jackie was not going to take it. Not anymore. Jackie had sure put up with enough from Kate. So one day, we were walking, the three of us, and Kate had this stick with her. I can’t recall what precisely the interchange was. Jackie said she was going to break the stick. Kate said “If you break the stick, I’ll never speak to you again!”

My guess is that this was great temptation for Jackie, to see if Kate would follow through. I also think Jackie really wanted to end it with Kate, so she immediately broke the stick. It was a stupid regular stick, not some expensive Girl Scout stick, for god sakes.

So immediately, Kate went into a huff. She pouted! Forever! Said she would NEVER speak to Jackie again. And Jackie was the nicest girl. I felt sad because that meant I would not get to be Jackie’s friend, either. I felt very sad.

Well, Kate forbade me to speak with Jackie. She was very selfish and bossy. So I couldn’t be friends with her, either. All that went on for hours and it all centered around how pouty she was. That was my life for four years. Her.

That was what it was like to be “best friends” with a narcissistic girl. I hated every minute of it and could hardly wait to get away.

I’m only being honest. I mean, that’s how I felt all those years. I had to keep it to myself. I did. I kept it to myself, and kept it inside all that time. I hated being her slave and I couldn’t tell anyone how I really felt. Meanwhile, I showered her with fake compliments telling her how great she was.

Until I left. I was 17. I was so happy the day I went to college and got away from her. I didn’t tell anyone after that, either. And to be honest I was pretty much okay. I fended for myself alright in college and did stellar work. As for her, I don’t know.

Feedback and comments welcome!