You know you’re losing your eyesight when…..

You go to work, or pretty much anywhere, and you can’t tell one person from the other, leading to embarrassing situations…..

When you visit a foreign country, the first thing you learn in the new language is, “Can you tell me what that street sign says? I can’t read it.”

When waiting for the bus, you accidentally flag down a car instead.

You’ve learned to laugh at your foolishness.

After you bump into someone, they yell at you, saying, “What’s wrong with you!” and you’re too tired of explaining.

You now own five umbrellas because you replaced the one you had each time you couldn’t find it.

You have to feel around for your eyeglasses when you wake up in the middle of the night.

The first thing you learn about every word processor is how to enlarge the text. Second, how to reverse the colors. Don’t worry, what’s coming around the corner will be a screen reader.

You’ve memorized your way around the house. Why bother turning on the lights?

When you drop something, instead of retrieving it (as reasonably sighted people do), you say, “Oh well, it’s gone….” because you know you’ll never ever find it.

You’re making a habit of purchasing ridiculous colors you can’t stand, like bright pink and fluorescent orange, just because you know you won’t lose stuff that bright.

You’ve invested a fortune in brightly colored duct tape and Sharpies.

You curse every tech company that made a black cellular telephone, or black anything.

You stop using a cell phone altogether. Goodbye, dropped calls.

Dialing the phone has become a major challenge. People assume you’re in early Alzheimer’s if ever dare say you have a faulty handset, so don’t even try that route.

You’re in a store and ask a salesperson a question. The salesperson says, “Oh yes, follow me.” Instantly, she leaves your line of sight, now more than five feet away from you, and as far as you’re concerned, has completely disappeared into nothingness. So you stand there, totally bewildered. “Where did that woman go off to, and how do I fake my way out of this situation without looking like a fool?”

You don’t own a mirror anymore. What’s the point? No matter how close, you still can’t see.

Spelling while typing is getting so tough that you rely on spell check and that red line under the words. IF you can still see it.

The day an angel taps me on my shoulder and says, “Hey, you spelled that wrong!” maybe I’ll be so far gone that i’ll be time to cash it all in and say goodbye anyway. As I figure, when that day comes, I won’t even see the angel, so I won’t have to go at all!

Ignorance is bliss, right?

 

 

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