This happened to me a long time ago. Ages ago. I was friends with someone online. This person flattered me in a way that I knew was unfounded. I say “unfounded” because this person was saying things that he had no way of knowing were true or untrue because he had never even spoken to me, never met me, nor really even known me very long. We had not even exchanged emails, hardly at all, and already he was showering me with far too many compliments. I knew in my heart I had not earned them. I knew that these adjectives he was using would only apply if he knew me better, if he were better acquainted with me, if he had taken the time to get to know me. However, what he said was “nice.” What should I do?
I should have known this was a red flag. It’s a form of bribery to compliment a person when you don’t even know that the compliment holds water. He was throwing out these compliments, hoping I’d latch onto them. To this day, I’m not quite sure what.
And I suspect he does this to many people.
After that, he tried to convince me of my brokenness, but I wouldn’t give in to that. I recognized here what he was doing. Build you up, then, knock you down, then, coerce you into latching onto some new (costly) ideology. Of his. That I so badly needed. Whoa, buddy…….Do I see manipulation in the works? Sales talk?
I stopped him at that point, told him I wasn’t broken nor defective. In fact, I told him off. Rudely. I admit.
I don’t need such characters in my life. You don’t, either. I wish I had known when the unfounded compliments came pouring my way. Don’t buy that stuff. There’s a huge difference between someone being giving and kind and flattery for personal gain.