Because I need validation….
I was abused by my therapist. Many of them were abusive but there was one who was the worst. Her name was Maria Mellano. Please never go to her. She is in Boston Massachusetts last I heard.
This woman did the following:
She was manipulative and controlling. She used her “techniques” to reduce me to a child-like state, insisting that I play with stuffed animals, insisting that I talk to the stuffed animals and play idiotic children’s games with these animals, pretending they were people in my life. This was called role-playing, or psychodrama. It was psycho, all right. Her object was to get me into a tearful state. Then, she would say something like, “That was beautiful.” Yeah, that praise was to encourage the childish tears, to encourage immature behavior. Great.
I remember so many times seeing outside in the waiting room the other patients also reduced to childish behavior, many curled into balls, shaking and crying in the waiting room. I saw them curled in balls and not able to speak, crying like infants out there. She went to one of them and told that patient she had to go to the hospital. I knew Maria herself had caused this patient to become that way. And yet, I continued to attend these appointments, worshiping Maria like she was a goddess.
One day I saw a male patient hitting a punching bag. I said to myself, “Oh no…” But I didn’t know why I thought that.
There was another patient who apparently saw me there but I have no recollection of seeing her. I saw her at another location and she recognized me. She ended her relationship with Maria before I did, apparently it was not a friendly ending. My exchange with this patient indicated very bad abuse from Maria. I am not surprised.
Another patient seemed to be seeing Maria multiple times per week, perhaps four times, but I was never sure. I think Maria took her out to lunch every day, but I of course I wasn’t going to ask. They seemed to come into the office together carrying coffee cups, then, say goodbye to each other and the patient would thank Maria. I was baffled, and I suspected abuse. The patient worshiped Maria much as I did. I tried to be nice when we ran into each other but otherwise I knew I had to butt out.
I really would say worshipful like that to her. Like she was special. The One and Only. I told her she was so good. But really, have you ever heard of Stockholm Syndrome? If not, look it up. This is why it’s so darned hard to get abused spouses away from their abusers. They literally worship their abusers. We wonder why. But it’s a normal and natural response to abuse to defend the abuser even though it isn’t by any means logical to others to do so. We have to, to preserve what’s left of ourselves.
Another thing Maria did regularly was that she placed unreasonable demands on me. She changed the rules in such a way that it was impossible to follow them. One day, do this. Another, you have it totally wrong, do that. She had this six-page contract but for me, she added another page. And made me sign it.
One day she said I had to pay for a cab to the doctor’s. That was like $13 one way. That’s insane. $26 round trip? I wonder what the copay was for the forced weigh-in…..Medicaid, that is, taxpayer money paid for it but I had to pay cab fare, as per Maria. All that to threaten me over 1/2 pound or so. That is, eight ounces of coffee. These days I usually have about 12 ounces of coffee most mornings and drink at least two liters of water by the time I’ve been up an hour. Go to hell. Oh, she accused me of being addicted to water, then she claimed I was “self-harming” with water. Actually, I have a kidney condition from lithium. Caused by “help.” She even told me the “unit” I was on didn’t exist. It did.
She accused me of lying when I wasn’t lying. She accused me of not eating when I was. She accused me of eating things I had not eaten. She accused me of vomiting. She accused me of lying that I had. She accused me of just about anything she could think of.
Just about every session she mentioned how she was going to have me put in the State hospital. She told me how incompetent I was and how much I belonged there. These threats came loaded. “If you don’t…” Whatever. They came with much manipulation.
Why is this woman still practicing? Not only that, collecting money? Taxpayers pay! And why do therapists like this still exist? And why is it called “help”? Why aren’t they stopped and put in prison for the harm they do? Why don’t more victims come out like I am right now? Why are we silenced?
Did you know Adam Lanza was abused by his therapist and that drove him to do what he did?
Do you realize that therapy abuse ruins people’s lives? Do you realize that it ruins people’s ability to make and keep friends? It makes people completely disabled and unemployable. It is addicting and it isolates people in the therapy relationship, ruining marriages and breaking families apart. Do you realize that therapy alone is more harmful than drugs?
I believe thousands of people were harmed by therapists, and very few speak of this. It’s a taboo subject. Folks would rather talk about drugs, drugs, drugs. It’s easier to talk about pills than admit it happened in an office. Because that’s admitting weakness. But it isn’t. These folks should be de-licensed, and some should be imprisoned or at least fined, and never allowed to practice “therapy” again.
I wish there was a place to talk about it. But there isn’t. I have tried. Only here, I suppose, and nowhere else till something changes out there. Most folks will not acknowledge that it’s even possible. If it’s therapy, it must be good, and they tell me what happened to me was “the exception.” I hate that, since most of my therapists were either abusive or totally incompetent idiots. i don’t think this was “exceptional” at all, I know it is the norm. The profession has a terrible track record for the simple and very logical reason that you cannot find love in an office. You cannot hire it. You might try, but it won’t work.