Halving a pumpkin (zapallo) for sissies like me

Have you ever cut a large gourd, winter squash, or pumpkin only to find that it’s rock hard. Many of us find that we ended up slicing a part of ourselves in the process! Oops! That was certainly not the intention!

I agree that such larger members of the squash/zapallo family are certainly out to get us! In many countries, this time of year you bet they are! Just look at those faces on them!

Let’s not allow those pumpkins to take advantage of our generous nature! Stab ’em, cut ’em in half and let them know who is boss!

Here’s a method for us sissies who in previous attempts, sliced ourselves instead of the squash:

First, please do not torture yourself thinking you might not have enough elbow grease to get the knife through the squash. Don’t even bother.

Put your squash/pumpkin/zapallo straight into the oven, whole. Please first puncture it a little bit with a knife, just poke holes. Depending on the size, I’d say medium oven will do. If you wish, cover loosely with tin foil.

Now, wait….And wait. Don’t go check your email because you’re bound to forget the zapallo exists. I’d say you should take the zapallo out of the oven a little bit after it feels hot to the touch. Do not overcook or the fruit (edible part) will end up too mushy.

Now, it’ll be so much easier to cut it in two. Stab it (do this with conviction, of course) and now, once your knife has gone clear through into the pulp, carve all around. At the end of 360 degrees, make sure the lines match up. Now, it’s sliced in half.

Scoop out the seeds. Here’s where you will be quite appreciative that it’s only half-cooked.

You’ll notice that the fruit is not cooked, but it’s softer, not as soft as butter but certainly easier to manage.

Now, cook the entire thing. turn it cut side down on a pan. sometimes you might want to add water, but much of the time it can be cooked without any water in the pan. It depends on what type you have.

These can also be microwave-cooked if you have a microwave. Please be sure to stab it very well prior to microwaving. No one will appreciate it if your pumpkin explodes inside the microwave. I told you those faces are scary and they’re all out to get us.

Now that you have found out, kindly believe all the conspiracy theories out there, especially the unreasonable, illogical ones, batten down the hatches, pull the shades, and fire well before being fired upon. This is a setup, folks. Happy Halloween.

Feedback and comments welcome!