No phone no internet, third week of this….

I went to “free wifi” yesterday because I wanted to participate in an important conference regarding the upcoming FDA decision to downgrade the ECT machine as “safe and effective” for depression. Unfortunately, “free wifi,” being what it is, crapped out on me entirely. There was no signal at all. I couldn’t get anything, not even Facebook. No signal, nothing. Nada. I gave up and came home. Yes, the signal had worked fine in the morning but not when I really needed it. Sometimes it works, sometimes it’s too slow, and sometimes it’s broken down. That’s free wifi for you. It’s free. You aren’t paying for it. It is a gift. I don’t feel I have any reason to complain about what I have already taken that I hadn’t paid for to begin with, do you? Of course not! It’s a free service to those who need it, let’s not be picky here. Life isn’t perfect, and I”m not either.

I’m done being picky. I used to be, but now, I’m not. See, people can change. I used to be picky about type of coffee I drank. If you remember me from long ago, you remember this. Now, no. I don’t give a poop. If there are grounds in my coffee I filter it again. I have some “instant” lying around, too, but I don’t drink it. It’s just hanging around. Know what it’s for? Mixing with yogurt on occasion. Around here, all the coffee has sugar added to it. I can’t have sugar. I really can’t because it causes muscle cramps, bad ones in my fingers, toes, legs, etc. So I buy the only brand I can find that has no added sugar, which is Café Señor. I buy the 500 gram bag because right now it is cheaper than the 250 gram bag. That’s not always the case. There is a cheaper brand called Casino which I haven’t seen in stores for over six months now. I buy the fuerte stuff. I cannot afford to be fussy anymore. I don’t complain either. Did I say I was miserable? No, I love my morning coffee very much, I am happy to drink it and I’m thrilled to enjoy it with Puzzle by my side. I am thrilled to enjoy it in freedom without the nagging of shrinks and nagging therapists and policing in those psych residences and on psych units where it wasn’t even allowed, and nagging social media, nagging pop health articles out there, and nagging, well-meaning “friends” claiming it’s bad for you. It is a joy to me to know that it isn’t. It’s a joy to me to know that it is not true that “coffee kills your organs.” Coffee isn’t what killed my thyroid, lithium did. I don’t drink tons of it daily, i only have a small cup, and if that’s a sin in your book, then remember, it was your choice to read my blog and it’s your choice to feel offended by my personal life choices.

Facebook is a totally mixed bag. I like the practicality of the “I tried this and it worked” type advice but I hate the “my opinion is that you suck, Julie” type commentary. It seems that you cannot get one without getting the other as well. The two faces of Facebook. You get the good and the yucky. We like you but we will slam the door if we don’t like your flaws. We love you, rather conditionally. We love you but we’re racists, very nice racists, so it’s our type of love. Of course we’re nice racists, we love certain races, see. We’re loving.  We love winners of the race. Which race? The right race. If your Face is a certain color we love you, otherwise you are a terrorist, subhuman monster, mental case, etc…..You are better off being a dog or kitten. You will be found by a humane society and treated with kindness and you have rights on there.

Speaking of which, I had to get on Facebook to find out the call-in number to get to the conference. So I did. I got onto Facebook only to find demeaning criticism from a so-called “friend.” You know, those folks that don’t know you but meet you on Facebook. They butt into your business and then decide they are offended by the way you “feel,” or, rather, telling you how they assume you feel, and then, criticizing you for it. Folks, I’m done with that. I can state any opinion I want. If another person doesn’t like it, what are they doing on my page? Has this person walked in my shoes? No! Has this person been through what I have been through? No! What is she doing putting me down like that?

She was wrong in her assumption, first of all. There’s no reason for me to waste any further time with her and people like her. Not even to correct her. Not to argue back, nothing. These folks need to get off my page.  I used to think: I should get off Facebook to avoid this nonsense. However, there are folks on there who are mighty appreciative of my work and want to stay in touch. For practical reasons, they prefer the Facebook medium. Much as I hate it, I stay on, but really, it’s a drag with all the “friends of friends” type bullying on there. From what I hear, other social media is far worse.

It’s just a time-waster dealing with this. As soon as I get on Facebook I’ll see to it that future posts aren’t visible to her, including this post. That’ll stop the demeaning criticism from her. I figured this one out and would suggest it to anyone out there. The person isn’t notified. I don’t give a poop if she reads this. To do this, you find that tiny icon next to the post and click on it regarding post visibility. You don’t have to do anything fancy with “privacy settings” which is a pain, frankly, and with slow connections you’ll find none of that loads anyway. What you’ll find is that you’ll get a pop-up asking if you want all future posts to match that one, to me invisible to that person (and to anyone else that you’ve made your posts invisible to for whatever reason). Do you? Si o no? And in a few months, Facebook will change all their privacy policies and completely confuse us all over again.

I came home. I know now I need a new cellular telephone and want to get one from the Antel company. Which brand and model I need to determine. I want to log onto their webpage when free wifi is functioning. I am told that Antel offers decent internet sticks that others have been pleased with. So I got that advice on Facebook, which again, I find distasteful and a time-waster. I assume at some point the free wifi will again be functional. Or I hope.

Meanwhile, I cleaned house. I realized I really like it at this house. This is the first place I have truly liked since 2008. Since the day I set foot in Woodland Towers September 3, 2008 and said to myself, “Oh my God, I live HERE?” Yep, that’s what I said. I looked at the place and realized that somehow, my life was going to be hell there. I don’t know how I knew. But I knew. No, this wasn’t a self-fulfilling prophecy. The place turned out to be very bad indeed. It was quite different from 100 Warren Street, I found out. I was there a few weeks and the gal down the hall moved out.  I saw her all pissed off, leaving in a huff. I asked myself why she would give up her housing subsidy. Of course now I know. Within days, I heard the “sneezer” next door. I got all sorts of demeaning criticism online for not “feeling sorry” for her. From folks who didn’t have to listen to 40 loud sneezes per hour. How sound-proof were the walls and how much of my phone conversations could be overheard? I knew I had to shout on the phone to my mother. Was that overheard? Those phone conversations with my mom, shouting conversations due to her increasing deafness, became more and more awkward. Meanwhile, my hallway was so public there on the bottom floor that so many used as a cut-through. Great life I had in VERY PUBLIC public housing. That was the first month or two of that crap. It only got worse. Far worse.

My house here where I right now is the best place I’ve had since then, by far. Privacy privacy privacy. I don’t have to live in a low-income high-rise designated for elderly people (which I am still not).  No screaming kids! No adults beating their kids or beating their wives. No cops monitoring the place night and day, no ambulances coming and going…that’s a thing of the past from USA that I don’t have to deal with anymore. No drunks outside. No bars next door. No parties nearby. There’s a party place nearby but far away enough so that it’s not too loud here.

Please, if you ever, ever move to Uruguay, and rent or buy a place, ASK around, “Are there loud parties or loud bars or loud carnivals nearby?” You will need to also specify “During tourist season, are there loud bars or loud music?” You may think you don’t mind these things, but this music is ungodly loud, it’s like nothing you’ve ever heard, and they will go on and on till like 4am or longer. It’s not like you can walk up to these party places and tell them to “turn it down.”  Just don’t move near loud music or you will be sorry. Find out first and move to a place where there are no loud parties and no loud music because you’re really never heard the likes of this. I ordered earplugs which finally arrived, by the way, only to find that these foam things don’t seem to stay in my ears at all. I think I need to order real ones from real ear doctor specialty places in USA. Not the el cheapo ones I got that took two months to get here. As for the ones you buy here, they’re for swimming pools, not for noise. The idea of noise-canceling is a non-concept here. Folks here only want more noise. They even shout and scream along with the loud music. So don’t even ask. Very few locals find noise unpleasant, though I can tell you I have found a few that feel the same as I do, folks who enjoy peace and quiet and like things to stay that way.

Meanwhile, I got stuff to do. I cleaned house this morning. I got more writing to do. I have pared down my projects. I am excited about the ones I got left to do. I am going to concentrate on those and little else. I am rather appreciative of the NICE people in my life and choose to ignore the not-so-nice folks. I choose to ignore them simply because life is too short to waste time dealing with not-so-niceness. Why even bother? Be thankful that there is kindness on the planet and stick with the ones that believe in you.

Feedback and comments welcome!