This is my writing. This blog covers many topic but is not representative of the entire person that is me. While I may speak at one time of a particular experience, no one should conclude that this experience is intrinsic to who I am. It happened. Period. Nothing else. Most of what happens in my life I either don’t want known or I don’t care to write about or share. It’s not possible for a writer to “tell all,” but a good one will convince you she is.
Any writer, artist, or performer takes on a persona, that is, a mask that is necessary to doing art. This is much like the persona that an actor takes on. How many times have we known actors or comedians who were entirely different people on and off the stage?
If you know me in real life and see inconsistencies between what you read here and the person you know, please keep the above in mind. Also note that right now, entries from years past do not have the year on them. Therefore, you might come upon a very old entry that is no longer applicable without realizing it. We all need to understand that all people change and grow.
I write these entries as they come to me and rarely proofread or revise them. If you read an entry that makes you wonder about what kind of person I am, know that it’s very possible I was that way only momentarily. I encourage others to rethink and be open to changing their minds. I hope you realize that I change my mind, too.
The following is untrue. 1) that I am in constant state of torturous emotional pain. This is highly untrue since in fact, I laugh my fool head off a lot of the time and enjoy my life. I am strong enough to write about past bad and good experiences and writing about those experiences does NOT cause me pain. I enjoy writing no matter what the topic. I don’t think writers who don’t enjoy writing stay in the business very long.
2) That I’m “triggered” by abuse stories. Absolutely not. I want to hear YOUR story and don’t worry if it contains something about abuse. To me, I feel overjoyed to learn that I am not the only one who went through all that i went through. The best thing is knowing you are not alone. I don’t think it’s right that there are so few places you can talk about abuse openly and honestly. I got very tired of being told, “I’ll talk to you but you can’t talk about abuse.” I can’t stay friends with someone who puts too many restrictions on what I can and can’t talk about. Because I am so frequently condemned by other people, or not allowed to open my mouth, I talk all I want about it here where no one can stop me. This is a relatively safe place for me here, and sometimes, there’s no other safe place. I like it since it doesn’t argue back.
3) That I hate all psychiatrists. I don’t. I don’t hate all doctors nor all cops. I notice that the profession of psychiatry is based on stuff that isn’t true. I feel sorry for shrinks since their practice has gone astray. I notice that most rarely apologize when they have done terrible things. I feel that psychiatry has far too much power and influence on people’s lives. As for individual ones, I only have an opinion on the ones I’ve actually met and I’m not going to make some blanket statement that they are all vicious psychopaths. i don’t think anyone is a psychopath. I am overall distrustful of people now. That’s actually a recent change, but I don’t think you can blame me one bit on that.