The cult, part whatever

The salesperson was still at it last night. I got tired of it. What can you do if you have told this person over and over, “I’m not really interested. I don’t want any more calls. This doesn’t apply to me. Can you stop all inquiries? I want to be off your mailing list please.”

The salesperson doesn’t seem to understand. The person assumes her product is the only one out there that works, the best one, the only legitimate one, the only valid one. The salesperson thinks she is saving my life but really, she’s being a pest.

“Can you please stop?”

You can get on the Do Not Call List. You can point out that No Solicitors Allowed is the law. It doesn’t work and the person keeps calling and calling.

Oh, just shut up.

Turn off the phone. Don’t look at email. Don’t answer the door. If it’s that smiling face and the pamphlets, tell the kids not to answer. “But it’s free…..” Nope.

Say no to cults. There are so many of them out there, each one claiming to have that One Answer to Save Us All. So one cult is not the only one fish in the pond. Ditch the gurus. Answer your own questions and  you are better off.

14 thoughts on “The cult, part whatever”

    1. Yes, there are many tactics that work to stop bothersome proselytizing religious groups. BTW, not all proselytizing religious groups are cults. The Witnesses are not a cult but a sect. In some parts of the world they seem to have a larger presence and might not even be called a sect in those areas. I haven’t seen them in action as a cult ever. But in many geographical areas they are certainly bothersome to many people. Here, we have many, but I have found them very polite and unimposing. I didn’t have the slightest trouble saying “no,” and once was enough. Others may not have had the same experience. Can’t say. Back around 1986 I recall I let the Mormons in and then, had a fair amount of trouble stopping the “visits.” Actually, I went to OA a few times and then, after I stopped going, I regularly got calls from complete strangers. It was wicked annoying, but I was polite and pretty much said nothing. Some of them wanted to “commit their food” to me so I let them do that, said thank you and hung up. I’d try to stay respectful but felt like laughing at the absurdity.

  1. OA? They acted like I didn’t exist. No one wanted to be my sponsor. I could not figure out if there was a food plan or not, I got mocked in a step study meeting, etc…sounds like they had a different agenda towards you concerning OA. If someone had “called their food in” to me it would have freaked me out. if I didn’t know them. Sponsors were supposed to be available to take calls re: food. My “sponsor” was so cold and offputting I dismissed her as someone not worth talking to. I never ever called my food in because there was no program. I heard of a “gray sheet” but never saw it and was told it was defunct. I looked up the “gray sheet” online and it was too hard for me to follow. Mormon elders once looked in my windows in another apt when I did not answer the door. Creepy. I was in OA for about 1 1/2 years in the late 1980s.

    1. Yes, I have had various sponsors in OA, one was for sure exactly like the one you described. Quite irresponsible and unresponsive. I didn’t stay long with her. I was told she was “mellow” and that was supposed to mean she had “found peace” but I didn’t think she gave a shit about me at all. She’d tell me to call at a certain time but wasn’t home at that time or “forgot” every single time. As for the calls, I was on the “call” list. I did have one good sponsor but she moved, then I never heard from her again. I am positive she fell off the bandwagon and I am also positive she did so deliberately and chose not to inform anyone. She didn’t want to hurt anyone or sway anyone to leave also. Probably a wise move. OA is ineffective and I’ve never known anyone who found lasting “recovery” on it. They might stick with it a few years and then leave and backslide. I think I was in it about four times and I”m done now. Joe said it didn’t seem very logical to him.

      1. There was a man who led a group that had 10 yrs abstinence after losing 80 or so pounds but most people did not make much progress or it didn’t last. One man I knew was very large and lost about 50 and regained it and then some. There is a big deal about “celebrate recovery” in churches now that’s based on 12 steps…I won’t be going. They couldn’t even tell you who they thought God was. The groups in the church at least have the God stuff down. I could not see going to everyone I knew to ask forgiveness, either back then.

        1. I always wondered about that part. Many people in AA I knew managed to get sober, stay sober, and didn’t bother with those later steps at all. I also knew people who showed up at meetings and were turned off by the God part and didn’t return. Know what I liked about AA? I found that in AA, there seemed to be something many alcoholics had that I didn’t see in the general population, a particular sense of humor that I loved. I could go to meetings, and knowing not one drop about alcoholism, still laugh at their jokes, understand their wonderful stories, share coffee, and feel amazed that folks could be so strong in spite of adversity and stick together during both hard times and good times. That, to me, is what community SHOULD be. I think that’s what keeps people sober. Community, love, and caring. Most likely, it’ll cure anything. Find any mentally “sick” person out there and I’ll bet you they are lacking that in some way. These have nothing to do with brain imbalance, addiction, bad attitude, or needing antipsychotics or requiring lockup. All of these are anti-community and anti-caring.

        2. “Mentally ill” people suffer from lack of love. Period. Nothing else. Other OA-ers would drag me along to the “midnight meeting” of AA on Sat. sometimes.

        3. I have seen bad cases of neglect and yes, a person can die of it through no fault of their own. I saw many of my neighbors, mostly elderly, at Woodland Towers decline simply because their families left them there and never visited. I guess those families assumed “services” would pick up the slack and that they, as families, were “off the hook” and they could now ignore their unwanted relatives. This wasn’t the exception, but the rule, that is, most of us slipped between the very wide cracks. In the words of one of my neighbors, “No one wants us.” It was anything but an attitude problem on the part of the residents, but the fault of the families and surrounding community that found them a nuisance and tax burden.

        4. I noticed that at the place where my former “friend” lives. These old people had worked all their lives only to be dumped off at a low income senior building. At least relatives visited some of them. Some of them were friends with each other and they were all snitches and mean as snakes.

        5. This was my experience in senior housing. I moved there at age 33. The first building I lived at they were “nice” but extremely nosy. They even opened my packages and snooped into my trash that I had dumped into the trash room. I tried using the dumpster out back and then found out some residents were snooping into that as well. They manned all the entrances and wanted to know where I’d been as soon as I walked in, and what I’d bought. Everything was their business. I moved to the other building due to sexual assault at the old one. But at the new one, the neighbors were hostile to me for no reason. Quite different. Either way, nothing quaint about either situation, both were unpleasant and undignified to say the least. I was always polite and quiet and to this day, never learned the reason for the hostility.

        6. Something smells in Denmark there. The people at my friend’s apartment did not open her packages! NO one asked her where she was going! I have heard of stories of women in “housing” getting assaulted by the help, and i knew a woman whose “neighbors” asked to know where she was going every time she left. Have you checked out my blog on my mental health story? It’s called Stelazine Diaries. I want to move out of here but do not want to end up in a “building” where I get watched like a criminal.

        7. Yes, I will surely check out your blog. I was on Stelazine once myself. Can’t say I liked the stuff. Many young people report terrible stories of living in public housing complexes. Especially those with MI diagnoses. This seems a universal difficulty. Snnopiness, gossip, nastiness, back-biting, these seem the most common complaints, also the tendency for the elderly folk to live TV centered lives devoid of any substance.

        8. Senior housing sucks. If you had a car there you could at least get away. There was a big “in” group of seniors that hung out with the staff that were always in the lobby morning noon and night. I had to sneak thru my “friends” patio to avoid them as they hated me on sight. There was one younger man in a wheelchair that liked to “patrol” the grounds with his dog day and night. Sort of a Nazi complex. Another one, an old man, walked the halls in front of my friend’s door all night when I was over, whistling and was up bright and early the next day. I wish she had never moved there. The old place was pretty bad but people kept to themselves more or less.

Feedback and comments welcome!