I knew it would be bad here when I got roped into the 12 month lease here. I heard eventually that you can’t really get anything else but a year’s lease unless you are lucky and get a month-to-month deal. Many are lucky that way. Many apartments are furnished. It doesn’t matter to me either way. I make do.
But this place is cheap. I thought the location would be good. It is and it isn’t. People asked me if I liked being near the beach. Yes and no. It’s not that essential. Some folks insist that living near a body of water is a life necessity but I am telling you one thing that’s far more important: daylight. I have absolutely no window nor door that is facing into sky. Nothing. I have a door that faces a walled courtyard and the other door faces into a walled front patio governed and ruled with the iron hand of my landlady. This front entrance is the only entrance and she insists on overseeing who enters and exists via this governed turf of hers. A tiny frosted bathroom window faces the courtyard into a wall. I have only one other window and it’s tiny. It faces into a courtyard wall about three feet away. The courtyard only gets a couple of hours of sun but only during January and February and not at all during other times of year. So I have no sunlight here for hanging laundry except during those months. So the only light I get in here is from artificial light or reflected light from either entrance. Thankfully, since moving here, I’d say I spend a lot of time walking and far more time outdoors. This is the way of life here, we are more outdoors oriented. But still, inside here, it’s dreary as can be, quite discouraging, dark, and dismal. The floor is the ugliest black stone tile I have ever seen, I sure wish i could have replaced the whole thing with something more light and cheerful.
Also, drainage here is a problem. There’s this drainage thing threatening to overflow immediately outside my bathroom and bedroom. Within about a foot from the wall. And that water gets quite high, almost to the surface sometimes. So if that darned thing full of local sludge and sewage overflows again (yes, again) guess what? All the local town shit and piss is all over my floor and in my life and making me sick. This can happen in a flash. I saw that just around the corner a couple of months ago. A huge puddle they were trying to push off the street and to god-knows-where. So living near water, if you think that’s romantic, so is shit. You pay for it.
I’m mostly looking forward to no longer hearing the hollering from upstairs. This has ended up intolerable. I mentioned this before. I have no particular solution to “hollering boyfriend.” I keep hoping she will kick him out. No such luck. That means I leave. I can’t stand listening to that guy night and day.
For months, actually since I moved in, I’ve reminded myself I’m not married to this place. Now, I figure, one more week or two more weeks at most. I don’t have an actual date set yet. If so, I’d be counting down the days. I won’t be far from here. No, not telling.
PS: Just in case, I’m getting a “backup” in case the next place is clearly not working out. There’s no lease with that one. All I want is a home. A real one for me and Puzzle. Not a place where I gotta tiptoe around.
I can’t even cry here, cuz I’ll be overheard. I hate that. Not that I’ve even wanted to. The one time I did cry all year, I did it at the beach. And once or twice on the bus. Yes, it has sucked in this specific apartment. But I love the country, and the freedom here otherwise.