I’m sure very few people even believe his, but it’s true. I started taking the drug Imipramine, in October 2011. It was prescribed to me. I had a rather bad drug reaction that went on and on even after I stopped the drug. I wasn’t aware of the change except in hindsight.
While all this was happening, I was meeting new people at the church I attended. It’s very sad that they had no clue of this drug reaction. I guess they figured I was always a bitch. So word got around. I never made friends there even though I’d say sometimes, “I’m not usually like this.” That never worked.
I’d show up on Sunday, and feel for that hour or two that I had friends. But during the rest of the week whenever I tried to contact someone outside of church, I found that what I had were “Sunday only” friends. I didn’t know why this was happening. I got more and more frustrated, and finally stopped showing up on Sundays. It was too depressing.
It took a long time for the effects of this drug to wear off. But “reputation” never wears off. People think what they want to think, whatever the popular opinion is. No one wanted to give me another chance.
I’m glad I relocated. I couldn’t shake “reputation’ and moving gave me the opportunity to start afresh. But what now? I cannot go on like this, feeling so much anger and resentment toward folks that aren’t even in my life anymore. It’s useless and stupid of me. What’s done is done. I blew it. I gotta move on. I can’t keep hanging onto people that never even liked me.
I don’t know why I’m so stuck in resentment. I’m here in a new community where people are friendly and kind, but all I can think about is the past and the hurtful things that people did to me.