Suicide hotlines? Most have sold out, including so-called warmlines. Get good quality friends instead

Years ago, I thought those hotlines were great. In fact, many were. Not anymore. Sorry, Charlie, too much pollution, you can’t eat that tuna no more.

Some don’t have caller ID but most do. So al it’s not even true that the lines are confidential. You might as well be calling 911 if you are in MEDICAL danger. If you are having a heart attack, if you’ve fallen and need help, if you are being beaten or attacked, if you are calling and pass out or if you have swallowed poison and are having a seizure then it’s a damn good thing 911 will know where you are.

But if you are calling to just to talk, and want to speak with someone you trust, please make sure that whomever you call can REALLY be  trusted.

I have had trouble in the past losing friends just for saying one word, SUICIDE. Poof! Gone from my life. But guess what? There are plenty of people in this world who actually don’t mind discussing death.

When I was in high school I knew kids who were suicidal. Plenty. I hung out with a rather morbid crowd. Just reading sci-fi got us thinking about life and death. Death is probably the #1 topic for the world’s most wonderful poetry. I can tell you right now that if your friends won’t discuss death with you, then you need friends who will. Not everyone is squeamish and overly sensitive. Not everyone will tell you they have a terrible allergic reaction should you mention anything uncomfortable.

If you are surrounded by people who only discuss positive, rosy things, and insist on “being positive” ad nauseum, what do you do if you got stuff on your mind that ain’t so pretty? Your fake friends tell you to shut up.

Your real friends hug you and cry with you. Your real friends don’t give up on you. Your real friends know that if you are bitchy,  there’s a reason. Bitchiness is ALWAYS  temporary and won’t last long if real friends are by your side.

What is help? A person who is truly helpful will spend time with you. If all that person does, instead of being a pal, is to dump you off at an institution and pass the buck to so-called professionals, what kind of friend is that?

If you are having a heart attack then a good pal will call 911 and do CPR if necessary. But if you FEEL suicidal then you are not in medical danger.  Know why? Feelings can’t hurt you. You have the right to feel anything. You have the right to discuss your feelings of sadness and despair without getting locked up. Just my opinion.

You can think what you want, too. We don’t have thought police just yet and no one should tell you that you are bad because you have uncomfortable thoughts. What’s the big deal?

If a kid is mad at his teacher and thinks “I wish she was dead” then let him think it. Thoughts tend to be fleeting. Ask him why. This will open doors.

I used to end up incarcerated in mental hospitals and treated like a criminal for having fleeting thoughts of suicide.  Actually, had I been allowed to wait it out the thoughts would have ended after 20 minutes or less. No one asked me what was on my mind.  Incarcerate first, ask a few days later when I  talk to the “team.” If they even ask or allow me more than a few words. That was my life …until I learned better.

Yeah,  I learned better.  Those nice helpful “counselors” ain’t helpful. I learned not to run to them. I am a lot stronger these days and I am far more independent. I wish the same for you.

Feedback and comments welcome!