My comments on Thomas Insel’s keynote address: NEDA conference…as posted on YouTube

First of all, my little two cents were the following:

So, Dr. Insel….Perhaps you are well aware that you are seeing entirely through rose-colored glasses believing that all “eating disorders treatment” is so wonderful as that which your daughter Laura received in Atlanta.  For most of us, finding humane treatment, or any treatment at all from knowledgeable or competent practitioners or facilities is almost always impossible.  What are you doing about making these so-called “hospitals” respect our human rights and stop being simply prisons for skinny kids?

You speak of insight. Frankly, the problem isn’t the that the patients lack insight. The practitioners themselves lack insight and fail to see the wonderful insights that us patients have.  The DSM, any DSM, should be tossed out, and the voice of those who actually have these eating problems should rise above the voice of unknowing “experts.”  Psychiatry should take its fingers out of the pie.  These classifications and oversimplifications do us no favor. They cause stereotyping, bigotry, profiling, and denial of care.

For instance, during my very last ever appointment with such a person, a psychiatrist, September 2013, this woman “looked me up and down,” clearly trying to sneak a peek at my weight, and then, noting that I was thin, said to me, “So what’s your problem?”  She pulled out her prescription pad.

I told her I suffered from anorexia and I also suffered from severe binge eating but that I did not throw up.

The woman glanced at me again and then said, “No, that’s impossible. There’s no such thing as as anorexia with binge eating.  You are delusional. Take a pill.”

I left in disgust, realizing my eating disorder had been around longer than she had even been alive.  Dr. Insel, I’m no adolescent. I’m your age. When you and I were growing up, we didn’t see Twiggy on the news.  I saw Vietnam, and later, I heard Nixon lie. You did, too.  My doctors lied to me as well.

(I posted this a while back, as soon as I watched the You-Tube.)
So here’s Dr. Insel’s keynote address to the NEDA conference.  I am totally convinced that “healthcare” in this country means “healthcare for the rich,” or, rather…
You may be rich now, but wait until the money runs out. Then you will ask what the hell happened and what it is all about.

Another horrific story of abuse…please share! Stories should be told and we will NOT SHUT UP!

Please “like” and “share” the following link if you have a Facebook account, if not, the text is below…and my commentary, as usual….below that.


“At 14 years Michelle was bright sensitive child, a straight A student, but then was diagnosed with early schizophrenia at age 14. Her extreme mental and emotional problems took her life, her personality, her dreams, her dignity. She now believes she is a “retarded abnormal subhuman” with no quality of life.

“Doctors and social workers look through her. They see her as a label, not a person. She has been on every medication possible. Zyprexa’s side effects made her gain 300 lbs. in one year. Then it was discontinued because she was pre-diabetic.

“During her lifetime Michelle has been hospitalized over 30 times, often 100’s of mile away from family and friends with no Ronald McDonald house for me. At Merced California hospital her daily activity was to go walk in the graveyard. I have been her only caregiver and provider as she has never lived independently.

“Broken relations with self, society, family – this is the essence of receiving a psychiatric diagnosis. With no purposeful work or activities, she is brainwashed that there is NO Hope and will have to take drugs the rest of her life which destroy the mind, body and soul.

“We have witnessed many friends in their 20’s 30’s 40’s drop dead over the years from side effects, overmedication or horrific withdrawal. One young man jumped to his death a few blocks from the hospital after being denied services. Michelle has many, many times – wracked with unbearable emotional pain — been denied services and left to walk home in her jammies barefoot in the middle of the night, totally vulnerable.Many many times when she REALLY needed help she did not get it as no “crime” had been committed and no one was yet hurt. Police would laugh at us and tell us that we liked “to fight.”

“Lack of basic services, being hurt and afraid CONSTANTLY, taken advantage of, loss of dignity, inhumane treatment, discrimination, isolation, no voice in treatment, violation of rights, torture — these are accepted as the norm within the mental health system.

“I filed many grievances with the county and state for lack of basic services. My statement was “My daughter is like a drowning person, who, when thrown a lifeline , will l not touch it as she is afraid of it.” We won “services” that time.

“Four years ago, at the last grievance her counselor didn’t get her to court on time and we lost by default. I’ve written letters to the local paper titled “I can get help for my cat easier than my mentally ill daughter” but they didn’t print it. They refused to interview me or Shell and I was told by Paul Hurley with the Times Delta that lack of and inadequate mental health services was an “open secret.” I wrote to senators, representatives, mayors, governors, presidents, civil rights groups, lawyers, with a few replies for best wishes and a phone number but no end results.

“Then, in 2004, Michelle was sentenced to 90 days for small charges. Twice she was electrocuted by a TASER gun in Bob Wiley JAIL in Visalia, CA, WHILE SHE WAS PREGNANT and forcibly taken from her cell at least twice.

“Michelle spent 100 days in solitary with no treatment. Her charge? Being under the influence and resisting arrest. After serving over 100 days Michelle was involuntarily sent to California Patton State Hospital to “understand the charges.” There, she was locked up with murderers and rapists. She was then sent back to court, found guilty AGAIN and released. Total time for this? Almost 1 year. She was sent to Patton state hospital locked with rapists and murders. At Patton State Michelle gave birth to daughter Audri chained to a bed, and was not allowed to hold her own newborn baby.

“Michelle was a wonderful mother and she was happiest holding her babies, cuddling them, loving them. This was the happiest time of her life. Audri and Andrew were her whole reason for existing. After the birth of her second child she was given the wrong meds and she decompensated AGAIN. Then, she said an inappropriate comment to a social worker while in extreme emotional distress. CWS took her babies without a fight as she was locked in the hospital with no phone available and unable to speak up for herself. We have never seen the babies since. AudriAnna and Andrew were not abused, drug exposed nor abandoned. She was discriminated against and violated, for having a psychiatric disorder. She has never recovered from the grief. I call it legalized kidnapping.

“In 2002 she was hospitalized at Kaweah Delta In Visalia, CA. There she was assaulted with seven stitches to her face. In May of this year she was hospitalized at this same locked facility and assaulted AGAIN by another patient, this time receiving five stitches to her forehead. This month she was hospitalized AGAIN at this same facility I couldn’t even give flowers or balloons to Michelle she was shut away like a leper. I called her case manager and supervisor and didn’t get even a return phone call for five days. Michelle is now in a licensed group home and the last I heard she had been raped. She is now on Neurontin telling me she’s hearing voices again for the first time in many years.

“Housing is a huge problem as unlicensed , unsafe group homes cram Mental Health population into windowless rooms and move them at the landlords convenience. They suffer in silence as to speak up would not be tolerated and would be punished. Licensed group homes are rare.

“The MEDIA is guilty of generating misinformation and half-truths and misconceptions always portraying the MI as derogatory and dangerous. They laugh at them and point fingers. Would you laugh at a child with cancer? Psychiatry as we know it is not an exact science, often dangerous. My daughter is a human guinea pig.

“The Mental Illness System is broken and it doesn’t work. The discrimination against people diagnosed with psychiatric disabilities is shameful, talked about in secrets in the dark. The media portrays one suffering generally as to be pitied, a danger, one to be feared and not tolerated.

“The STIGMA and treatment itself are barriers. That must be smashed before the eyes of the general public so the community can understand and change old ideas into new methods of treatment, of healing. Lobotomies were inhumane and eventually outlawed. Electroshock therapy is a modern form of lobotomy. Ask ten people, “What is schizophrenia?” and I get ten different answers.

“Survivors need a voice AND choices in their own treatment, community based, family based treatment, compassion, Christian love, understanding. Gently guiding sufferers back to reality is a new form of treatment successfully working in the country of Finland. Dr. Jaakko Seikkula is pioneering and revamping the treatment of the people diagnosed with psychiatric disabilities, with approximately 80% success rate of restoring one’s dignity with minimal medication use. Canada and Australia are also working on more effective treatments. Our own Mr. Bob Whitaker is writing books on this tragic and terrible epidemic in our country.

“Med compliance has never been her problem. She does well in structured settings and can live independently with minimal supervision. There are many caring and concerned individuals here. Again, I wish to thank you all for coming and thanks to David Oaks for allowing me to share. As a MOM == Mother’s of MindFreedom – I urge you to support David and MindFreedom as his work is essential to end this living nightmare for our children. Mother’s of MindFreedom are uniting and breaking down barriers and searching for more effective treatment. We will never give up.”


God bless moms that never give up!  Yes, MindFreedom does do wonderful work.

Yes, it is true that this abuse does exist and it is indeed commonplace, the NORM for mental patients, not the exception. This is the life we live. This is what is the accepted truth of our existence. You must submit to “treatment” to get well. Treatment is supposed to hurt.

I do not for one minute accept that abuse is justified or acceptable. Ever.   This needs to stop. It’s time to speak out.  Never allow someone to yap to you about “acceptance.”  Acceptance of what? The status quo? The status quo MUST CHANGE NOW.

My dog weighs two pounds less than my printer: let’s get obsessive over the scale!

Okay, I weighed Puzzle the other day and she’s a nice healthy 13-1/2 pounds. She eats whatever I put in front of her and she’s happy and healthy.  I weighed my printer. Why did I do that?

My printer seems to have no power to it.  I plug it in and…nothing. I’ve tried all the troubleshooting and finally have decided the heck with it.  The warranty is long gone.  I recall that before, Lexmark offered me a replacement for a low price, and this is no longer an option.  However, I can get an HP for not much more, and the HP inks are cheaper, on sale more frequently and easier to obtain locally. Not only that, if I am careful, I can get it delivered in a PLAIN BROWN BOX.  Lexmark always sent their printers with “PRINTER” written all over the boxes in gigantic letters, ripe and ready for any thief to grab off anyone’s porch the instant it got delivered.  How dumb is that?  I’m tired of not having a printer and having to go to the library or staples all the time.   This is wearing me out.  It’s not worth the exhausting trips back and forth or trying to keep lists in my head or hand write them with my messy handwriting and pencils that keep breaking and pens that don’t work, when I can print out lists easier in an instant with a printer.   We are so spoiled these days. But our rush-rush society kinda expects us to keep up with techno-whatever.

So I weighed my printer because I want to see how it stacks up to the ones I’m considering buying. I sure want the smallest one I can get. Not some giant clunker like the last two that you’d think should have been paying rent here as tenants! The current one is two pounds heavier than Puzzle.  I’m not kidding you.

So, had I taken the advice of so-called “eating disorders specialists” and ditched the scale, I’d have no clue how much my little doggie weighs and no clue how much the clunker old printer weighs.  I wouldn’t be sitting here chuckling away with you folks right now.

So what do we do?  Is Puzzle scrawny and does she need to gain weight?  Is her BMI “unsatisfactory”? Should we shove a tube into her, and if she refuses, threaten to call security?

On the other hand, which would you rather have snuggled next to you in bed: a nice furry warm doggie, or a hard, rectangular, mostly metal printer that doesn’t even work?  Is this a no-brainer or what? Or do you want to sleep with that scale of yours?  Mine is metal and it doesn’t snuggle too well.  You could shove the scale between your mattresses instead of next to you, and then, once you woke up, you could write a version of Princess and the Pea about how you slept…that is, if you could sleep at all.

Maybe we should all try putting peas under our mattresses and see how much complaining we end up doing. Was the pea under the mattress the REAL cause of eating disorders?  I’ll betcha anything it was.  Latest research, folks…..

I did one of those “IM” things with someone at HP (this was in some very very very faraway land, I’m sure) to see if the printer they were offering me, that was sitting in my “shopping cart” would come in a plain brown box.  However, the person said, “No, it comes with a giant photo of what’s inside right on the box.” Well, not quite in those words but almost.

Guess what I did?  You guessed it. That shopping cart got emptied very very very fast.  Got the big picture?  Yeah, sure. Big picture plus nosy neighbors means that printer ain’t gonna get to its intended recipient, dudes.

Back to the drawing board.  Or the dinner table.  Pea soup, anyone? I can reach between my twenty mattresses.  Gimme a sec.


More abuse done by x Hospital and others…I am not surprised

As always, my commentary….

So you all are so shocked that these renowned “hospitals” are so abusive?  You do not believe that I went through these horrors in these places that were supposed to provide care but instead, treated me like I was a caged animal?

For those of you that assume I am lying, exaggerating, or delusional, know that there are plenty of others who are now coming out with strikingly similar stories of abuse. As a matter of fact, I am hearing of the same health care workers (doctors, therapists, hands-on workers) doing the exact same things to patients that were done to me, the same cruel acts.

It is time to unite and speak out and get the perps removed from their jobs.  It’s time to end patient abuse.

There was originally a link here, but I removed it. Sorry!  🙂

Local guy hosts gurus, mutual payoffs

So there’s this local dude, whom I will not name….He runs these “dinners” I see.  Quite ritzy.  I think local gurus, and perhaps some from afar, pay him sums to run seminars that he hosts. So he charges a bit and runs these via the Meetup venue.  Calls them “macrobiotic” or whatever nonsense that’s trendy and sounds natural and might bring in some dough and hungry people.

So the gurus come in and sell their snake oil to sick people that might fall for it.  Pyramid schemes.  You buy into it, become an “affiliate,” put their ads on your website, whatever.  You buy, become a vendor yourself, become a great guru, you make your own Get Rich Quick scam, you become a guru yourself and then guess what? You are a guest speaker at this guy’s macrobiotic dinner someday.

And guess what? The snake oil doesn’t work, macro dude. It’s overpriced.  You might as well buy olive oil. You can buy that cheaply in the Goya aisle. The rest of us are waiting for our food stamps to kick in and then we’ll go out and buy it.  Or maybe not.  You, macro dude, meanwhile, can take your money and go to hell.

I am uniquely ME: I reject the double-standard in antipsychiatry

Warning: rant.  I am coming out with this right here, right now: So bipolar is okay. Schiz is okay.  Depression is okay.  These, I hear, are maybe growing up problems or “extreme states” or maybe a “spiritual crisis.”

So lyme disease we can blame on the tick. Cancer we can blame on a tumor.  A car accident on a drunk driver and a bump on the head can be blamed on a brick.

Alcohol on the bottle.  Child abuse on the parents and spousal abuse on the spouse.  Overeating on sugar. Not eating on….

Oh, that, my friends, is a moral problem.

Get real. Do I hear a double standard in antipsychiatry?

I’m sorry, but eating disorders include anorexia and eating disorders are REAL just like any of the other so-called mental illnesses are real to those that suffer from them.  You can call these conditions “mental illness,” or anything else if you don’t like the word “mental illness.”  It’s just a name, right?

It’s psychiatry’s fault that they called them “mental illnesses” and imprisoned people, which they never should have done. It’s psychiatry’s fault that they lied to people and said, “It’s for life,” when in fact, most of these so-called “illnesses” are temporary.  It’s psychiatry’s false claim that the “only” cure and “best” and “safest” cure is medication, when these pills are hardly safe and really shouldn’t be used at all, or extremely rarely.  It’s psychiatry’s fault that they lock people up willy-nilly when really, it makes no sense to further punish them who are already suffering enough!  It’s psychiatry’s fault that these doctors poke fun at patients, belittle them, and devalue their patients.  In turn, if these doctors are going to treat their patients that way, I don’t think they are very valuable as doctors, do you?

I hate psychiatry.  I hate what my psychiatrists did to me.  I hated that they denied me care, saying that eating disorders were “nothing” or “trivial.”  I hated that they lied to my parents, betrayed my confidentiality, treated me like a child, and raked in thousands from our family.  I hated being tied to a bed and left for dead for six hours.  I hated their antisemitism.  I hated that they treated me like I was an imbecile.  I hated the way they mimicked me, poked fun at me, laughed at me behind my back and right in front of me, yelled at me, called me a liar.  I hated the quacks.  I hated the accusations.  I hated that therapists sexually abused me.  I hated the “state hospital” threats, and the real state hospital, and electroshock, and force-feeding.  I hated being stripped naked, searched, and thrown into an empty room like a caged animal.  I hated the forced drugging.  I hated that doctors saved my life only because in doing so, they were avoiding an imagined lawsuit.

This is healthcare? No, it ain’t. Healthcare for the very rich…I’ve heard they sometimes get private rooms.

I have an eating disorder and it’s no different from any other so-called “mental illness.”  If anyone in antipsychiatry wants to discriminate against me because they feel that my having starved myself was some “moral choice,” go ahead.

So depression is a moral choice too. And schiz is the devil.  Cancer, that’s a bad habit. And it was your fault that you walked into the woods and got bitten by a tick. I can play this game, too.  If you want to say anorexia is a choice, then I can say YOUR DISEASE was your choice, too. Go screw.