Yep, been there too. I’ve been so scared.
I remember feeling like I couldn’t possibly walk into a nutritionist’s office because they’d look at me and say, “You need to gain so, so much weight. I think you need to weigh….” and they’d decide on something rather arbitrary for me that I couldn’t live with for one single day. So I’d think of myself at that weight. Sure, been there. I remember. I got discriminated against and people would tell me I looked too heavy. So even before I picked up the phone to make that call, I’d have the whole conversation played out in my head:
“You want me to weigh THAT much? Don’t you understand I’m only five foot one?”
“Yes, but you need to be healthy.”
At the word, “healthy,” I’d cringe. Doesn’t this mean I have to eat something beyond radishes and cucumbers? Would this mean I’d have to give up looking like a skeleton? Oh geez. I hated that word healthy.
So I dreaded making that call already. I xed out the webpage with all the nutritionists on it. I wanted to cry.
These days, I don’t cry so much. I’m glad, although crying isn’t a bad thing. No one forces me to do anything. I choose. If I want health, it’s my choice.
I found out that our bodies are amazing because we have built-in survival mechanisms. They are already there. You will find out just how strong you are.