Thought I would talk about this.
You guys don’t know me. No one does, well, hardly anyone. Not too many people even bother with me these days.
Of course, there’s my “online presence.” That’s what most people assume is the “real me,” but it’s only a tiny fraction of who I am. The part I show to the real world through my computer. That’s the “me” that talks about political and social justice issues, interpersonal stuff and the “me” that rants a fair amount.
So I suppose folks just want nothing to do with me and figure I’m a bitch nobody wants around.
Truth is, I spend all day alone and never speak to anyone. I go days and days without speaking, except an affectionate word or two with Puzzle. Maybe once or twice a week I get the pleasure of a human conversation. It used to be far worse, in fact. I’d go a full month with zero human conversations.
Yep, that bad.
Please, don’t let this happen to you. Do anything to see to it that you spend time conversing. Even go out on a bus ride and pick up random conversation with anyone you can. I know, sad but true…
Strangers are sometimes far kinder than folks that claim to be your pals.
Truth is, I’m actually a nice person if anyone takes the time to get to know me, but hardly anyone bothers to get that far. They dismiss me before I even start speaking. They walk away, turn their backs, assume I’m crazy before I open my mouth, judge me before I have a chance to speak or meet them in person. I never stand a chance. I am judged with no jury. I’m sent to hell on the fast track, not even worthy of a St. Peter interview.
Anyway, I’m so down on humanity right now. I feel like crying my eyes out. Is this what happens when you are abused in a hospital, or abused by a therapist, that is, ongoing abuse for a lengthy period? And then, no one believes what happened to you, for years? Do you lose faith in humanity entirely? I guess you do.
Please, world, tell me. Then again, no one can answer that. Maybe Puzzle knows.