Oh what a laugh…paranoia, again…..

So get this: The FBI comes knocking. Guns at my door.  Ammunition.  They say the death sentence for me.  Oh yes, there’s a transmitter lodged in my appendix, too.

I’m feeling around for it as we speak.  Oh, I’ve found it now….got it!  Grabbed it, pulled it out, yeah, okay, located it.

Now, yanked the darned thing out of my appendix and I’m cooking it up for dinner.  How yummy.

What an ordeal.  Oh, I’ve got the tape, too, took it out of the transmitter and I’m playing it as we speak. The tape they have on me, all the top secret files they’ve been keeping for years.

Are you all ears? Do you think I need to be HIGHLY MEDICATED?

Here’s that ole tape, translated word for word:

“What’s the buzz? Tell me what’s a-happening? What’s the buzz? Tell me what’s a-happening? Hey hey hey, Mrs. Robinson, Joltin’ Joe has upped and gone away, hey hey hey, hey hey hey….”

But really, I’d better watch those ole copyright laws, now shouldn’t I?  I mean, paranoia’s no excuse…..

Or should I take that tape and put it BACK into my appendix?  Quickly hide the darned thing, otherwise someone might think I’m MAD!  Or would that cause a serious infection? Would then I have to take antibiotic medication? Or am I so AGAINST any pills whatsoever…..so freaking paranoid that I sure wouldn’t dare put a tape into my body…or is it a tapeworm?  Or maybe it’s like Appendix 1, Appendix 2, Appendix 3, you know, all bunched together at the end of a lengthy document.  I could slip the ole tapeworm into one of the appendices and not one of you would even notice. Then I could call the vet and get a de-wormer. I’d just say Puzzle needed it.  Squirt the darned thing right into the document, and poof!  All my paranoia, Gone With the Wind….or would that be an old time movie? There’s no place like home.

Feedback and comments welcome!