A suicide attempt is like a blacklist on your medical record and also within your community

So here’s an article I read on suicide:

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/12/11/opinion/understanding-suicide-mental-illness-not-irony.html

Guess the writer of the letter to the editor had no clue what it’s like AFTER you make an attempt.  Life sucks afterward cuz you get ostracized.  By the medical community and by the community in which you live, and possibly by your own family.  You might even lose your job.  I guess that’s why people who commit suicide are ultimately likely to commit suicide again, cuz it’s on their record FOR LIFE.

Do you want to live?  Do you want to have a quality life, free of discrimination?

In a word: get that attempt off your record if you expect to survive at all.  If a doctor asks, lie.

Expect to be denied treatment if anyone finds out. I know that’s illegal, but they will all be afraid to treat you due to liability.  So I would suggest lying about the attempt.  When they ask, just say you had no attempts in the past.  You are more likely to not be denied care.

Expect that if you reveal having attempted suicide, your friends will dump you immediately. “Oh, so that’s why you were in the hospital, eh?”  And they’ll never call again.  Just tell them you were going to have your heart checked.  Tell them any stupid thing. Tell them it was cancer so then they will love you a whole lot and put on a benefit walk for you.

So when you go to see your next shrink, if you don’t admit to having made an attempt in the past, you won’t be considered a liability risk. They’re less likely to make up some lie, saying, “My schedule is full,” or some baloney because no way do they want to take you on anyway.

Never mind your community.  Your friends won’t call anymore if they find out.  The whole town will turn its back on you.  You will probably not have that job waiting for you when you get back.  They will make it look legit in some way.  Of course they will.

I have seen this done.  It’s harder now to fire someone for “mental health” or “disability” reasons, so this is what jobs do, both volunteer jobs and paying jobs. The employer or fellow employees or supervisors get together and they decide, “We want her out.”  So they get into their huddle.  The huddle of the inside folks.  You know, the inner circle of folks, the loved ones, the elite, the ones that leave the others out.  They whisper to each other in the huddle. Every workplace has its elite.

Know what they do?  They put on the pressure.  She comes back from an absence, maybe she missed a day of work or a meeting, and they tell her, “Maybe your health problems are a bit too much for you right now.”  Or, “Maybe you need some rest. Have you been thinking of taking time off?” So the person gets coerced into stepping down, and she is totally convinced that she has made this decision on her own, and it’s all “for the best,” and she is doing it “for herself,” to “take care of her health.”  But the truth is, the workplace wanted her out.

I’m not talking about a specific person or a specific incident or job, but I’ve seen this done at workplaces and to many people I’ve known. The trick works and workplaces succeed at getting their mentally ill workers out of their hair easily and quickly this way.  Legal?  Unfortunately, it is done.

Unfortunately, my posting this is a double-edged sword.  Assholes can use my idea now that I’ve described it.  On the other hand, I’m guessing that most of my readership does not come to my blog to learn how to get rid their unwanted employees.  Usually, they read my articles based on what the title says.  If you have a suicide attempt on your record, get it off your record.

Or better yet: don’t be an idiot, don’t even TRY suicide.  As for trying and succeeding, I can’t speak for that.  Never been there.  If I had, I wouldn’t be here to write these words.

Does it hurt to be dead?  I have not walked in those shoes.  I have yet to be legally dead.  I don’t think it’s anyone’s right to impose some all-holy belief about death on others.  I can’t speak from experience AT ALL and I’ve never been there, so I won’t say a word.  Don’t let some do-gooder tell you otherwise.

4 thoughts on “A suicide attempt is like a blacklist on your medical record and also within your community”

  1. Julie, Attempting suicide is like volunteering to be a sacrificial goat. A witch doctor gets to pronounce a bunch of mumbo-jumbo over you and apply mysterious potions, while the congregation (the community) sits in awe of his powers. Meanwhile the goat is marked for ritual abuse for the rest of its miserable life. You’re right, the best thing is to not try it in the first place, but if you have already, denying it is always best. Their idea of “help” very often finishes the patient off.

    1. Hi John,
      Absolutely true! When I was 26, I was in the hospital, and those nice kind nurses were no longer so kind. They wouldn’t even speak to me, just painted their nails all day. No one in the community bothered to visit and my best friend (a Bennington College dropout herself) dumped me on the spot. I’ve never forgotten that.
      Guess what? I looked her up. She’s now a “therapist.” Bitch. I’m making a point of not forgiving her, and I have that right. I refuse to “pray for her,” and I don’t believe in that mumbo-jumbo, either. Nor do I believe she will burn in hell forever for what she did. By all means, I have no right to claim that Hell exists after life ends, cuz I’ve seen enough Hell on earth. I do, however, hope she’s reading this right now.
      Anyway, yeah, they make life miserable for you. They sent me to Gould Farm for almost six months. Wow, that was bad. Coming back home to Vermont and facing continual discrimination until finally, I left that community in 1986. Driven out. Rumors spread. They said I was an adultress, a slut. A Jewish slut. That of course was a complete lie spread by gossip and there was nothing I could do but leave.
      No wonder people who try suicide try again and maybe again, and some do succeed. Driven out, no wonder.
      So I starve myself and now this is what has happened? It’s not “mental illness.” It’s societal crap. It’s people being snobs. It’s the way people turn their backs on those that could use a hug. This is bullshit.

    1. That is a terrific question. It depends on the individual situation. I tried it back in 1984, in Vermont, so those records would have stayed in VT, except I was stupid enough to tell my providers about it when I moved to MA. Then, after I realized that a psych record is like a criminal record, I realized also that all I had to do was to go where they do not know me. Then, don’t say a word. I’ve been living diagnosis-free since 2014. It is the single-most liberating thing I have ever done. It opened new doors for me. I got better, too, in many ways. I learned that it was never a “mental illness” but the same problems we all have to deal with.

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