Soon I will walk away from psychiatric abuse

On one hand, I need to put a lid on the past, that is, on the abuse.  I do know there are those that choose to do so, to close that lid completely, and never allow anything to escape.  I’ve spoken to some who have had to make a complete break even more than what I am doing. It’s quite clear that once you walk out, you can’t go back.  Like divorce.  You get tempted, you even feel sorry for the ex sometimes, but you can’t.

However, I am a writer and for that reason, I had to make a decision.  I do know that there are many that cannot leave entirely and still keep one foot in.  Me, no, no feet in.  I feel that I must revisit, but only to write about it as a writer, and that’s it.  Then, I need to put the lid back down and close it.  It’s not me.  Not part of me, not my life.  Just this thing I take out and write about, then subject dropped.

So after I am relocated, I won’t speak of it.  You can speak of your experiences to me, and I won’t mind, in fact, I will surely listen.  But this will not be my life.  I will only speak of this in writing.  If you don’t know me as a writer, then you won’t know that part of me ever existed.  If I ever give a reading, you may see a side of me rarely shared.

So, soon I will be walking away, complete.

2 thoughts on “Soon I will walk away from psychiatric abuse”

  1. Julie, sometimes the only thing you can do is to bury your past. I certainly had to bury mine, like the stinking corpse it was. I rant against psychiatric abuse not because of what they did to me many years ago (I was lucky and got away with my brain relatively intact,) but because what the bastards have done to people I’ve known and loved in the time since then. I don’t mind people knowing I’m an ex-drunk; heck it helps clear the air- if anybody has a problem with that I won’t waste any time on them. But anything I write about psychiatric abuse is in the third person. No use giving them any more reason to dismiss what I say.
    Good luck on reinventing youself!

    1. Precisely, John. No acknowledgment. What I have to do is to acknowledge only in writing, not out loud. If I give a reading, this will be the only time. Otherwise, after I move, lips closed. As a writer I feel obliged to keep writing. It’s my duty.

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