Plan B

When you feel you are all alone in the world
When you are ready to give up and no one is by your side
When not one person agrees
When they all call you a liar
When everyone says you are wrong
When they all say “No”
When everywhere you turn, not one person is an ally
Maybe, just maybe, you AREN’T paranoid

Cuz guess what, baby, you might just be right after all.

Get a lawyer.  I’m so glad I did.
I’m persistent and I have not given up.

Folks that knew me before know that stuff happened that wasn’t coolYeah, baby, I’m not crazy.

Never was.

Schizoaffective?  Baloney.  Never was.

It was a nice club.  It was fun lining up for the pills and socializing in the “meds” line with the other kids and yapping about how to cope with “side effects,” something to talk about, like the weather.  We all went there when home life got a little boring.  No wonder holiday weekends were so overcrowded on the units. No beds, always a long wait in the emergency rooms for “placement” being watched over by some security guard on those three-day weekends.  Sure, my pals were on the units, all the regulars I knew so well, clean sheets, someone else mopped the floors.

My buddies started dying off.  We all got zapped and jabbed too much.  This was no vacation.  Naw, no picnic. Waste of time.  Senseless.  I realized all these diseases I’d learned in the place and never had to begin with.  Then, I suppose, awakening.

Many of us did. But as soon as we started talking, the docs weren’t happy, so they forcibly drugged us and pushed further “supervision” and unwanted “help” on us.

This was WAR.

No choice now but to walk out.  Parades of us.  It’s called antipsychiatry.  A whole glorious movement, and there’s no stopping it now.

I’m proud to count myself as one, that is, a voice in that parade.  Somehow, I’m speaking now and someone is reading my words.

I am telling you that the treatment of EATING DISORDERS is about the most inhumane mental health treatment out there. Is anyone listening to me? That’s what I discovered and I’m not going to shut up till someone listens.

I’ve got that trickle now.  That is, VALIDATION.

Two years ago, no one was listening.  Two years ago, I was alone in this and I was starting from scratch.

Never, ever shut up.

2 thoughts on “Plan B”

  1. Julie, you really hit the nail on the head. It’s war. Chemical warfare against women, the poor, the old, the young, the non-white, the disposed-of military veterans. WE know that, but how do we warn bovine America? Sometimes it seems like an impossible dilemma.

    1. Hi John,
      We do what we can do. I write. It’s about all I CAN do, and it seems I do more and more of it. I feel obligated to do so, like as writer, it’s my duty.

      Like you know how the docs, they take on that Hippocratic Oath? Me, I’m a writer, so I see what’s good and I write about beauty. I see what sucks and I say, “Hey, this gotta change. RIGHT NOW.” So they say I can’t change the world? Just wait.

      I got another book in me yet.


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