Eating Disorders Treatment…is this how to get well?

They say we should go to treatment.  To get well?  No, they kill us there.  These are cruel places where they assume the patient cannot be trusted and is a criminal.

You go to these places, don’t expect to get well.  Expect that you will have to recover FROM treatment.

That is, the treatment is worse than the problem you’re getting treated for.

The maintenance people are supposed to come fix my sink today.  All I want to do is to cry my eyes out today.  Cry for the kids I met in treatment.  Cry my eyes out cuz I love them so much.

Maybe they don’t love me so much.  I mean, who really knows what they think.  Honestly, they might think you go there and it matters what “attitude” you have. 

Well, I think you go there and you deal with it.  You survive.  What matters is what happens afterward.

I don’t know a soul who has a “bad attitude.”  I mean, really.  “Bad morals”?  If you are abused in a place like that, sure, you are going to be mighty pissed off.  I don’t call that a bad attitude at all.  I call that traumatized, and it’s pretty natural and normal to be upset after something like that happens. 

In fact, if you are abused in treatment and you aren’t upset about it, and you just “forgive” and “let it go,” then there’s something wrong.  Abuse comes back to haunt you.

The People You Meet in Treamenttment

Guess a lot of the folks I met there are dead now.  Killed.  Not by what their mental sicknesses.  Depression can’t kill you.  Suicide will, sure.  You can starve yourself to death, sure.  But you know what killed most people I met in treatment?

You got it.  Treatment killed them.  They went for help.  That’s what killed them. That’s why they are dead now.

The Power of the Pen

So they want to clean up Watertown.  Make it nicer-looking.  Get the trash like me outa here that are lazy and don’t want to work.  Get the traffic patterns working oh so smooth.

Oh, how nice.  It’ll be a pretty town someday.  Nice yards, nice streets.  No more trash.  Just brush me away, sweep me out.

Folks turn away.  They don’t look at me and they don’t want to be my friend anymore.

How do I get my revenge?  I’m writing a book.  Yep, this loser, this person they consider “mentally incompetent,” this crazy lady is going to write a book about exactly how it feels to be pushed aside and treated like a piece of dirt.

Nanowrimo 2013.