“Should I be concerned about what others think of me?” Julie Greene’s answer: Yes!

My name is Julie Greene and if you have been told that you are overly concerned (labeled “paranoid,” perhaps?) about what others think of you, and that surely, something is wrong with you, read on.

I say, don’t hang around with people who think very little of you.  You don’t need to be an outcast.  Never allow yourself to be looked down upon.  Hang with folks that accept you and love you unconditionally.  There are billions of humans on the planet, plenty to go around.  Go out and find others with experiences like your own, who can relate to what you have been through.  It is in these folks, those that have worn your shoes, that you may find love.

I hear many stories about people who get bad reactions to bee stings.  Afterward, whenever these folks see bees, they get very frightened, even panicky.  Are they mentally ill?  Are they paranoid?  No.  This is a knee-jerk reaction to having had something scary happen to them that they don’t want to ever happen again. Their bodies go into survival mode whenever they see a bee.

I was a kid that was teased all my life and was an underdog from the beginning.  I did nothing morally wrong to end up an underdog.  It so happened that I was born and raised Jewish.  So we didn’t have Jesus or Santa.  I never knew these two men existed until I walked out into my neighborhood and found out about the fat guy with the beard and the other guy who also had a beard and but was a whole lot skinnier and was a statue on a cross forever.  I found out that not having Jesus or Santa in your family made you an automatic sinner by birthright.

Then, of course, there were two other things I never asked for but I received by birthright: my short stature and nearsightedness.  I got teased for these things and lived my childhood as an outcast.

I ran into some bad luck as a young adult and got caught up with some folks I shouldn’t have gotten caught up with.  So much of my adulthood I have lived as an outcast as well.  All this was ill fortune, nothing more, nothing less.

I am extremely lucky to have inherited excellent intellect, longevity, resilience, and of course rebelliousness.  Add to that very good luck and guess what?  I’m still alive!

Think, again, of the knee-jerk reaction to the bee sting.  When I see that someone thinks I’m crap, I now know to run for my life.  Why?  I know I will be treated very badly.  That’s historically what’s happened, so I’ve learned.

Indeed, if you have been teased, bullied, or had a “label” put on you for any appreciable time, then it’s only natural to be concerned about others’ opinion of you.  As a matter of fact, you’ve got very good reason to be downright scared if other people pose a threat to you health, security, safety, independence, reputation, privacy, dignity, or financial security….the list goes on…or if others pose a threat to a family member of yours or to someone under your care such as a child or pet, or to your home.

If you have been bullied, it’s rather natural to worry that it might happen again.  There’s nothing “paranoid” about taking precautions to ensure that such bullying doesn’t reoccur.

I repeat: Don’t hang around with people who think very little of you.  You don’t need to be an outcast.  Never allow yourself to be looked down upon.  Hang with folks that accept you and love you unconditionally.  There are billions of humans on the planet, plenty to go around.  Go out and find others with experiences like your own, who can relate to what you have been through.  It is in these folks, those that have worn your shoes, that you may find love.

 

Feedback and comments welcome!