I gotta get outa here

That visit on Friday I had with the NP was truly damaging to me.  I even lost a friend over it.  I think I am going to phone my health plan again.  This lady should not be practicing medicine.  That’s my opinion.

So everything I said was a lie?  I was in the hospital over 50 times for psych and she said that’s a lie?  She said it’s impossible to have anorexia with binge eating and therefore I am a liar?  Well, she obviously knows nothing about eating disorders.

She said I’m delusional and it’s not likely I’ve been sexually assaulted more than once.  I told her, “Hey, if you are 55 and female in this society, especially with a mental illness label, chances are you have been sexually assaulted more than once.”

Then she said since the police did not believe my report, I must have been lying and delusional.  I wanted to tell her that almost all rapes go unreported, and almost all rapes that get reported do not lead to a conviction.  Doesn’t this NP know her facts?  Besides, another fact is that our Watertown police don’t believe mental patients, period.  It was my word against his.  Trust me, my testimony went nowhere.

So she said I was making it up that I took Topamax. No, lady, I take Topamax for binge eating.  I told her to go look up my pharmacy records but did not give her permission to speak with Dr. P.  So she thought I was lying.  Asked me repeatedly if I had guns in the house.

Will someone please shoot this lady before I go kick her into the Charles River?

This is really damaging to me.  She thought I was lying about my degrees, too.  Thought I was lying about everything.

I feel like now I can’t even get healthcare.  I’m going to have to relocate or something, or if I need drugs, I mean really need them for anything, just get them illegally.

No one at church is even speaking to me.  Now that sucks, too.  Sure, it’s fine if you have a mental illness but only if you take drugs and go to the appropriate institutions to get brainwashed.  And only if you remain silent.  No one wants to hear a peep out of me.  A silent mental patient is a good one.

Sorry, I do not shut up, even if it means not showing up on Sundays anymore.  Royally sucks.  I need to leave town.  Stuff has gone totally sour here.

Feedback and comments welcome!