Something I wrote that sums up the past couple of years….

Someone is coming to see me shortly but I have opened my journal and found this and I want to share it real quick.

This is written in pencil.  I always write in pencil these days cuz it is neater.  The statement is undated but I believe I wrote it at the end of February.  It is the last time I wrote in this journal and now it is June.  I made the mistake of seeing a therapist at that time who was sort of a scam.  I went downhill as a result.  I believe I abandoned the journal at that time.  I have been struggling for several months.  Actually, I’d say I’ve been struggling for much, much longer than that.  The whole past bunch of years have been fucked.

Here’s what I wrote:

I make sense on paper only

This is because I type the wrong letters
many crossouts sometimes even
the backspace key does the wrong thing
After hours, my document is done.
Nobody even cares enough to read
what has taken me a day to prepare.
I have anorexia nervosa and suffer
from malnutrition so I suppose
I’m not worth it.

*****

I gotta run folks.

Feedback and comments welcome!