Like I have no other choice, buddy on the other end of the line

Um, excuse me, buddy on the other end of the line.  I’m very tired of this “no care” baloney.

I guess at some point today I realized nobody actually knows how bad it has gotten.  Nobody.

Psst: readers, I will tell you why.

They, some ladies I knew a while back that is, told me to stop talking about it.  That they couldn’t take it anymore.  It’s your choice, they said. You choose your anorexia or us.

So hey, who in their right mind is going to stick with friends like that?

Did they really love me?  Of course not.

They blamed me for their own food and weight problems.  It was Julie, the baggage in their life. Julie was the dirt they had to get rid of so they could LOOSE weight, as they put it all the time.

Gee, that little spelling habit drove me nuts anyway.  If you’re gonna be so loose, I think you got loose screws, not lost weight.

Are they any thinner and better off and in better shape now that they’ve gotten rid of me?  Now that they’ve done this purging of the group?  Who knows?

I’ve been kicked off a few other websites since.

Oh, mostly because they find out I have anorexia and they tell me “this board is not appropriate for your diagnosis, goodbye and good luck.”

Very weird.

So I phoned a local treatment place and we have not yet discussed why I want to have treatment there.  Um, I’m expecting a “no” response tomorrow. Due to diagnosis, insurance, or liability.

Thing is, I wanted to go in tonight and they “forgot” about me twice.  Lost the paperwork entirely.  I had to phone twice and ask, “Hey, did you forget me?” I guess that’s life, eh?

See, I’m not such a loser after all.

We have to figure out the Puzzle piece but I’m not thinking about that yet and haven’t broken the news to my fur bundle.

I feel like I’m such an imposition on these folks.

Um, excuse me, buddy on the other end of the line.  This is instead of walking off the planet.  So let’s get things straight.  Don’t you one more time forget I exist.  Cuz I’m gonna keep at it until I get what I need.

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