So in the past week or so, I have sat on a pair of glasses and broken them. Luckily, I anticipated someday having this sort of bad luck, so I do have a spare pair of glasses. I advise anyone with poor vision (mine is around -12) to have spare glasses. You never know when idiots such as careless nurses or EMT’s might accidentally lose them if you are hospitalized or whatever. And you’ll never get them back, trust me. I’m sure they have a back room full of glasses belonging to dead people somewhere in some back room in every hospital, and when people come into the hospital and they can’t see, some nurse goes into that room full of spectacles, grabs one pair, goes to the person, and says, “Try these on, honey, do they help?” And if they do, voila! That’s recycling for you.
Anyway, I’m wearing my spares. They are not so great, but they work. Same prescription, I just don’t like them as much.
So another bad luck thing that happened was having my credit card number stolen. I’m pretty sure who stole it.
And another bad luck thing that happened was that I bought a new cell phone and it is defective. So I have to send it back. It is activated and I have put money on it and that totally sucks. I have contacted the company and I guess they will send a replacement…or they better. And then I’m going to have to put more money on the new one just to activate it.
Meanwhile, I have to see a doctor. Like right away. The human being I trust says I have medical issues that are important and I need medical tests done. And every time I get on the phone, people complain that they hear beeping. So thankfully, I have a spare phone. The phone will run out of minutes…oh geez.
I don’t even want to leave the house. I don’t want to wear clothes, only pajamas.
I don’t want to see a doctor. I don’t want to see any humans. I don’t want any humans to see me this fat. I want to cut the fat off my body. I don’t want to leave the house or have any humans see me until I lose this horrible weight.
I went to bed and woke up three pounds heavier. That’s the other bad luck thing. I don’t see how that can be possible.
I wish I had woken up dead instead.