I had my first therapy session with my new therapist and I must say, it’s nice knowing someone agrees I’m not “sick” and therefore “wrong.” In fact, I’m quite right about a lot of the stuff I’ve been thinking all along.
He says many therapists are kooks. He says my therapist whom I fired a year ago was too young for me, and too inexperienced. I told him about her severe boundary problems, and how empowering it felt to fire her. He said, “What were you doing with her, anyway? She most likely had borderline personality disorder. Many of them do, and should get out of the business.”
I’ll bet he’s right. Something sure was wrong with her. She was awfully manipulative. She seemed to enjoy being powerful, and would tell me she was the only one who had the expertise to make me well. When I was faltering, she’d tell me it was my own fault, and that I was not listening to her instructions properly. She changed the rules all the time, rewriting our “contract.”
So we talked about my brothers, too. Not that he said it, but I came to the following conclusion: My religion, UU, tells me that there are no schmucks in this world. However, people can ACT like schmucks. My brothers are acting like schmucks, and my brothers, one in particular, have been doing so in a big way for some time.
You know something? It’s up to me to stop them. If my dad woke up right now from his grave (yeah, not exactly possible, but if he did…) he’d start up one of his lectures and not stop till the sun set a million times, cuz you’ve never seen such worse deviant behavior as you’ve seen right now. Just cuz they’re younger, they think they can get away with shit? Naw, they ain’t kids no more. I’m the big sister, and I’m going to set them straight. Knock their little blonde heads together, I will.
Disabled does not mean blind to the obvious. Disabled does not mean incapable, nor does it mean stupid. Hey, guys, I’m onto ya. There are a couple of things my body won’t do: Throw up is one. Die is the other. Sorry.
Yeah, those two are just waiting.
So that’s why no communication for the past 20 years.
So maybe I need a lawyer? Or just a big mouth? We shall see.