I will be 55 shortly

I will be 55 in less than 36 hours, in fact, so if God, or you, or anyone else wants to ensure that I do not have this birthday, be sure to pick me off during this time window.  I dare ya.

After all, we Jews killed Jesus, didn’t we?  That’s what I was told when I was a child.  In my 55 years, I have handled a hammer a bunch of times, not a lot.  I guess average “for a girl.”  That I know of, I have not had the experience of nailing a 2,000-year-old guy’s wrists to a board.

If I had done this, it would have kinda been overkill, don’t you think?  Wouldn’t he be old and decrepit enough?  And under law, doing something like that would qualify as elder abuse.

Just think: I could go to jail for a nail.

Anyway, I am a Sinner in the Eyes of  God according to one person.  July 2011 I nearly died of starvation and was on a medical floor.  This prestigious hospital had “sitters” watching me from an independent agency.  Well, that’s what one of the sitters told her patient, a lady who almost starved herself to death, me.  That I was a Sinner in the Eyes of God.

Wow, lovely thing to hear.  Makes ya want to live, it does.

So this “sitter” has less than 36 hours to lodge a complaint against me, saying I am a Sinner in the Eyes of God and should be picked off.  Removed.

Hey lady, you too.  I dare ya.

Post-flu, I couldn’t be better.  I went running today on the treadmill and kinda surprised myself.  I looked on the “target heart rate” chart and made comparisons to what the treadmill heart sensors are saying, assuming they are accurate.

My conclusion:  I seem to have a heart after all.  Guess I’m human like the rest of you.  My heart beats like everyone else’s.  That sure beats not having a heart.

In fact, it ain’t such a bad idea to follow your heart to where it leads you.  Ignore what others say about you or think about you if in your heart you know you are doing the right thing.

Sometimes, your heart may lead you to a lonely place.  You have to travel a journey all by yourself and no one will accompany you to protect and advise you.  Yet you know you are right, and you journey onward.

Now consider those who have advised you to turn back and go instead to a safer place.  Are these people who have always loved and supported you?  Are these people to whom you can turn when in need?

I revealed to my brother my new plans, and he told me how stupid and crazy I am.  I asked myself if his advice was coming from true caring, or if it was coming from wisdom.  How much time has he spent with me in the past two years, anyway?  This man does not even know who I am.  He doesn’t want to spend time with me or get to know me.  Why should he even care?

Because he’s afraid that if my plans flop, I’ll go running to him, and oh dear, he’ll have to shell out his precious money.  I think that’s what he fears.  In our phone conversation, I guess he was protecting his wallet as usual.

Pretty sad.

Don’t listen to shits who don’t love you.  Who cares what the world thinks of you, or me.  Just give ’em a few whacks, hit ’em over the head with a hammer.  Or nail their wrists to a board, be a Sinner in the Eyes of God, and wait 36 hours, see if I care.

Feedback and comments welcome!