…which I suppose is true.
Cuz look at it this way: I have always written a lot about shit. A nicer way to put it might be, say, doo-doo or poops. It’s part of life, folks. It stinks and when your dog drops some on the ground, you are the one stuck picking it up in a little plastic bag and putting that little bag of shit (or big bag, if you have a big dog) into some nice place where the world can’t get a whiff of it.
Cuz no one likes ugly. Hey, here are some nice ugly words…I’m going to say them because once I get into this unit, they will not allow you to say anything, anything ugly. Every word you say is censored.
food – any kind – especially specific types. Sushi, kale, mung bean sprouts. Oh, yes, we won’t be getting any of that where I’m going. Can’t talk about it, either.
Laxatives…can’t talk about diarrhea, guess it stinks too much.
Can’t talk about cancer, it’s too ugly.
And oh, death. We can’t talk about death. You know something, girlies? Death doesn’t even exist as far as they’re concerned. Like hell we don’t know you can die from an eating disorder.
Then again, many of the patients are not aware of just how many people do die of eating disorders. They don’t want us to talk about this.
Hey, do you remember Karen Carpenter? Most patients, and in fact most of the staff there probably never heard her music, cuz they were born after she died.
Yeah, I’ve had this freaking eating disorder longer than most of those people have been on the planet.
We are not supposed to discuss binge eating, or throwing up your food. I would very much like to know how to stop binge eating, but get this! They don’t want this topic discussed. It’s all about doing what you’re told and shutting up and shoving all their food into your mouth.
Weight…oh yes, this is the most important number to do with you. You are a weight and height and nothing more in their eyes. But we are never, ever allowed to mention any weight whatsoever.
Get this: Puzzle is 14-1/2 pounds and I am not allowed to say that. I am not kidding you.
You can’t talk about…well, practically everything. Only coping skills. Like how to properly deep breathe. I think I learned that quite some time ago and to tell you the truth, I don’t like sitting around deep breathing with a bunch of other people.
I learned a lot about breathing when I played the trumpet.
Sit up straight and proud. Or stand in all your glory, trumpeter.
Keep your instrument polished and shiny.
The guys used to say, “mit kech” which I think meant to play “with balls.”
Feel your whole body fill with air. Feel the air in your soul and play with all your might.
Don’t make mistakes. Just don’t. Don’t crack notes. Lies, inconsistency, and lack of confidence tend to be apparent to an audience.
Play assertively. Be clear. Be firm. Stand your ground.
You are mighty indeed.