I am leaving shortly for therapy but just thought I’d throw this stuff out there. I feel really lousy today.
Anyway, it occurs to me that when a kid gets “sick,” many parents, while appearing distraught, are actually delighted that their kid is sick. They relish in it. Their kid has failed at school or college and has come home to Mama. Their kid is needy once more. Their kid tried and failed to be independent. Their kid cannot be on his or her own. Their kid needs Mama. Come to Mama. And even if the kid doesn’t in fact physically come back, if the kid is in, say, another state, the parent feels terrific knowing that the kid has failed and is in a state of neediness. This kid has been reduced to near-infancy once more, to helplessness. The kid cries out.
Now, the parents have this golden opportunity. Finally, they can take over like never before. They, with the help of the hospital, can control everything. The hospital gives them information about all kinds of things that they have never been privy to before. Vital signs, weight, what the kid thinks and feels, what the kid eats, and what the plans for the future are. All these the parent has a say in and has control over. This has never been the case before.
Whether you are 16 or 25 or 60, think about your parents’ status right now. How much control do they have over you? Has this control changed since you became ill? Do you feel that you are being treated like the responsible person that you indeed are, or are you being reduced to an infant because of your illness? Do people trust you enough? Are you being respected as a decent human being, or are you being treated as less than human because of your illness? Are people listening to you? Do you feel controlled by anyone right now?
Hold onto that thought and I’ll be back with more. I’m going to spend time lying down before therapy. I feel really rotten.