I feel a little better today. I have more energy. I did something with my hair. It was less of a project trying to get myself into the shower, brush my teeth, and dress myself. I’m a little less overwhelmed thinking about all the things I have to do before taking off on my trip Monday. Actually, there is very little left to do, when I think about it.
I did a bit of sleeping this morning, for an hour or so, then decided that I needed to stay put for a while and that since I’m headed off for church tomorrow anyway, I would wait till then, and stay home today until it’s time to see Dr. P.
I took 125 mgs of Imipramine last night, as Dr. P instructed. This is the maximum dose for this bottle that she called in. I was concerned because those pills are so tiny. How could a tiny pill possibly do anything? Obviously, they’re doing something, or metabolizing at least. I know this because I’m experiencing a nasty side effect: dry mouth. I have a nasty taste in my mouth. Brushing my teeth frequently helps, but the effect wears off very quickly. I’m going to try carrying a sip bottle of water around with me and sipping on it, or carrying Tic-Tacs around with me. The latter might be a good solution for traveling on the airplane. I would bring a sip bottle and fill it at the airport. I don’t believe in buying water when you can just as easily get it from the tap. At airports, a bottle of water costs over $3. That plus it’s a waste of plastic. Anyway, the Imipramine is indeed getting into my system. I seem to be sleeping a little deeper. The problem is that I still have many interruptions during the night, generally averaging once an hour. I wish that sleep provided a relief from my depression. It doesn’t. When I wake up in the night, I feel intensely depressed, and I feel the urge to smash something.
My friend called today, saying she was very worried about my traveling to another country in the state that I’m in, especially given the tightened security policies and the fact that I will be alone and know no one in London. I guess a lot of people feel this way when it comes to travel. I assured her that I’ll be fine. At the time of our conversation, I felt kind of weird inside. I didn’t exactly know what to say.
The more I think about it as the day progresses, the more I know I’ll be okay. My confidence is continuing to grow. Today’s annoyances aren’t annoying me too much. I am dealing with them.
I just hope this lasts.