I wrote so many papers while I was in the hospital that I need to copy over and share with you. One is very long, 25 hand-written pages. Several are from my previous admission to the hospital.
I unpacked my suitcase this morning. Completely. I feel pretty good.
I have appointments every day for the next week and a half. Wow. Two of them are scheduled for the exact same time, so I have to fix that.
It’s great having Puzzle back. I feel like finally, finally I have my life back.
I see my T today. I’m expecting a huge argument. Well, maybe not.
Would you believe Dr. P actually wanted me to go to “residential” after the hospital? Is she kidding? My insurance (Medicare/Medicaid) doesn’t pay for a single residential program in the Boston area. I suppose she didn’t really look that far. And I haven’t a penny left to pay for Puzzle’s boarding. I took out a cash advance on my credit card to pay for her this time. I had to lie about my income to get it. Dang!
Not that I would want to go to one of those fucking places. The ED program at the hospital, where they fucking controlled my food, watched me in the bathroom (I don’t even puke), and–
Get this: It was within an hour of discharge. They said I still had to follow “ED protocol.” Such bullshit. So I sat there and ate. The whole time, I ate everything on my tray. This time, I put the juice and water in my pocket, telling them I was going to drink them on the bus ride home. Well, they said I couldn’t do that.
“Drink them NOW! You can’t drink them later! Eating disorders protocol, remember?”
“Well, I’m not going to.” I poured myself some diet ginger ale. We are not supposed to have soda. Another no-no.
“Give them back or we’re calling SECURITY!”
They actually called Security. I’m not kidding you. Those Security guys must have been laughing their eyeballs out.
So was I. I told the guy from the kitchen who delivered trays and he was cracking up, too.
I laughed all the way home.
Hey, I’m going to have a good walk with Puzzle and not think about this shit. Just listen to the loud, loud music and have a great walk. We’re leaving as soon as the sun comes up.
I can hardly wait.