Here’s what I wrote in my journal tonight. I’ve put in ellipses where I’m leaving things out, but there’s very little to leave out.
“Got vertigo after breakfast. Apparently this is from ED. Now, I don’t feel like eating breakfast. Maybe just eat a little bit.
I walked Puzzle this evening w/no problems, no pain, w/the cane. I will ditch the crutches within a week, except when I’m carrying a load on my back. I am thrilled that this seems to be over.
did well w/”restricting” today. I will probably lose…edema.
I attribute the improvement in my knee to WL [weight loss].
Also that I have been sensible this time + done lots of resting + caught it in time.
Edema is gone.
I am wearing shorts + a t-shirt today….I don’t care if the world knows I have anorexia.
I gained 12 pounds of edema + plan to lose it all. Probably tomorrow morning it will be gone.
Wow…a clever T, she almost got me to fess up. I feel horrible about lying.
I want to be very, very, very thin.”
Now that I read this, I realize that it could have been written by a young girl. But I am 53 years old. Where has the time gone?